Louisechloe Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 hi guys, I am in some serious need of some motivation to kick this relationship depression... We were together for 2.5 years, i thought he was my soul mate and i thought i was his. We had known each other since we were 16, at which age i lost my mum, he came to her funeral and everything. We are both early twentys and got into a relationship 2.5 years ago. He was always kind of selfish throughout the relationship i.e playing gigs and not inviting me, but he told me he just didn't think sometimes and i just agreed with him. 8 weeks ago...On the monday night everything was fine, we were laughing and everything was normal (we lived together), then on the tuesday was his day to go home and see his family (his mum was always a control freak and used to blame me for him not wanting to know her, because i didnt have a mum, she even said this to me once). That night i dislocated my knee and i called him to tell him as i needed to go to the hospital, he said 'im out with my brother cant someone else take you' we have a mutual friend (who is a male) and i called to tell him about my leg and he was at my house within minutes. this got my back up that some other person had come to check on me and not my own boyfriend. I texted him a bit of a rage saying 'you really dont care about me do you, isnt it funny someone else has shown up not you' he then replied 'whatever i am not doing this anymore' i straight away went into panic mode and started calling him and texting him, he ignored me for the rest of the night and the whole of the next day. I get a text the following day 'i am coming to your house after work'..... next thing i know he pulls up to my house with his mum...he actually bought her along, he walks in my house and takes EVERYTHING he could see, minus a pair of jeans and shoes which are still at my house. Then he left with his mum i didnt get a reason all i got was 'i love you i dont know if i am in love with you, i just dont know how i feel' so i let him leave with his mum. An hour later he came back to talk more, i got in the car with him and we went for a drive i got told 'stop begging' 'dont worry about waiting around for me' and i thought no way am i going to beg for you now, as i went to get out the car the last thing he said was 'is that it then' i didnt look at him i got out the car and walked home. Didnt hear from him at all, still havent and i havent tried to contact him. he was in contact with our mutual friend the week after and he was saying 'i just flipped, i dont think she wants to know me anymore' and my friend said 'is that it then, are you 2 over for good' he replied with 'who knows, i dont think she wants to know me anymore'... that was 7 weeks ago. My sisters boss has 2 boys similar to our age who live on the road near him, he isnt really in contact with them at all, he deliberately went out of his way to go up to one of them and start talking he then went on to say how he was upset about the situation. Then after that there were pictures put on facebook of him and another girl and i didnt even bat an eyelid and he said to my friend 'she doesnt even seem that bothered about the whole thing'. then he saw i got a new car as my friend put a picture up, the very next day after he saw that he messaged my friend who put the picture up saying 'hello, have you got my stuff from her house yet?' and all they said was no and he said 'oh ok im not going there to get it' literally since the day he dumped me, i havent tried to message him, i have unfollowed him on instagram, unfriended him on facebook, dont see or talk about him to anyone. i have booked a holiday, booked festivals, and am going to carry this on. I dont feel better, at first i felt empowered, now i am feeling low about the whole thing, i dont understand why it happened and why did he bring his mum? why he is speaking to mutual people? Please help me kick this
DexterLS Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 It's okay to ask all these questions post-breakup but you have to realise it's over now. I understand the need to have some kind of "closure" and all your questions answered but trust me, you won't get that from him. It's great that you are keeping yourself busy. Keep doing that and I can assure you, things will get better if you stick with strict NC. All the best 1
Author Louisechloe Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 I know, but i dont feel like i need closure from him. i dont feel the need to pick up my phone and call him. Deep down in my gut i just know he will come back in some way or form. its the weirdest thing, i just have this gut feeling that it isnt over yet. I hate this!
PegNosePete Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 i dont understand why it happened and why did he bring his mum? why he is speaking to mutual people? I'm afraid there is only one answer to this question. Because he is a douche canoe. You need to stop thinking about his motivations, feelings and problems, because they are not yours any more. You have split up, so it's time you start thinking about YOU and your own feelings. Stop trying to figure out why he did what he did. He did it because he's a duck. Yes i said DUCK. A total one. 1
Author Louisechloe Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 Yeah i know, its really silly of me to keep questionning why it happened. But now that the upset has faded and the anger is simmering out, the feeling of hurt has come. i just feel so so hurt. I just need motivation to realise i am better than him. i have no confidence any way, its knocked me so much.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 15, 2015 Posted July 15, 2015 I suspect he's met someone else and was looking for a way out. He brought his mom because he's a little boy and didn't want to deal with your questions and emotions.
Author Louisechloe Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 Yeah see i thought there was someone else, but i really dont think there is. I mean of course there could be but i am sure after 2 months someone would have found out by now? we have LOTS of mutual friends. One mutual friend said he was trying to 'punish' me. We have never broken up before, i really think he was expecting me to chase him and beg him to take me back. someone even said to him 'if she says she wants you back what would you do?' and he went 'i dont know, i cant talk to her because i have always liked her and it would make me upset to talk to her, i dont know how to talk to her just as a friend' i mean, he is humiliated of course he is, everyone knows he bought his mum with him...and he knows normally i would chase but he pushed me way to far that day. every other argument we had it would be me crying trying to sort things, but not this time!
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