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Should i be concerned that he didnt get hard?


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Posted

My sexual experience with guys at different age (29, 37, 46): it gets more dependent on external factors with age (mood, atmosphere etc), and keeping it hard for prolonged period of time gets more difficult with age. However, that's not a statistically significant observation due to the small sample size;)

 

Sorry to hear your samples were small ;)

  • Like 1
Posted

4 hrs??? That's a long time. I don't think having an erection that long is even safe anyway.

Posted

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions yet.

 

He was wearing pants and you weren't directly aiming to feel it, and there can surely be any number of acceptable reasons for this.

 

Way too quick/early to make any assumptions yet.

  • Like 4
Posted
If I had an erection at the beginning of a 4 hour make out session, it would have went away long before that 4 hours was over. Boredom can do that.

 

No way am I making out for 4 hours without getting laid. That seems like virgin stuff to me.

 

^^Yeah seriously. He probably came in his pants within the first 10 minutes anyway, and after that just going through the motions.

 

OR

 

he could be gay. Surprised no one mentioned that already.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

Oh I have a theory, correct me if you don't think this could be the case:

 

He was hard but difficult to feel as he was sitting down and wearing jeans. He was grinding on me a little whilst I was on his lap.

 

After about 4 hours or so when it was time for bed, he said he was gonna have a shower first. Maybe he came in the shower?? Cos he wore his underwear later on and I didn't see anything.

 

Def not a virgin or gay btw.

Posted (edited)
Oh I have a theory, correct me if you don't think this could be the case:

 

He was hard but difficult to feel as he was sitting down and wearing jeans. He was grinding on me a little whilst I was on his lap.

 

After about 4 hours or so when it was time for bed, he said he was gonna have a shower first. Maybe he came in the shower?? Cos he wore his underwear later on and I didn't see anything.

 

Def not a virgin or gay btw.

 

Okay but how does a healthy red-blooded male hold it in for four hours? Most guys would freakin explode!! No way could they go four HOURS in that state. No way.

 

I recall one episode with my bf after dinner out, we were in his car. He got a huge hard on during dinner (just being in my presence or hearing my voice got him hard)......and when we got in his car, we started making out, and he got sooooooo hard, he had to unzip and release his cock from inside his pants...... because he was in actual pain from his penis being so hard and confined within his pants!

 

He could not even drive home without cumming, so we ended up fu*king in the car!

 

Ahhhh.....those were the days.

Edited by katiegrl
  • Author
Posted
Okay but how does a healthy red-blooded male hold it in for four hours? Most guys would freakin explode!! No way could they go four HOURS in that state. No way.

 

Well it was four hours including the shower in the middle.

Posted
It got more and more intense as we went though, and even when we were spooning I didnt feel anything? If so, why would he continue? do some guys need actual touch? Oh and I am a pretty hot 20 something year old.

 

This was the first time we made out.

 

Really? Wow.. come join team IronZ. Never had that problem :laugh:

Posted

So, is there another date planned anytime soon?

Posted (edited)
Well it was four hours including the shower in the middle.

 

I dunno, even two hours in that state is hard to believe, but I suppose anything is possible.

 

Just going by my own experiences and none of the guys I have ever been with could ever remain in that state of arousal for even 30 minutes!

 

Wasn't he uncomfortable? Did he not have to release his hard cock from within the confines of his pants?

 

Anyway, you asked if this is something you should be concerned about.

 

For me personally.... based on my experiences, I would be.

 

It's just weird! And I think you know that too, otherwise you would not have started this thread.

Edited by katiegrl
  • Author
Posted
So, is there another date planned anytime soon?

 

Yup he said he couldn't wait to see me again. He said he wanted me to stay over during the week too.

 

It is only the first time we made out so I wasn't gonna sleep with him that quickly. He is quite a slow mover I think, like he only kissed me after the 7th date.

Posted
Yup he said he couldn't wait to see me again. He said he wanted me to stay over during the week too.

 

It is only the first time we made out so I wasn't gonna sleep with him that quickly. He is quite a slow mover I think, like he only kissed me after the 7th date.

 

Slow mover is good (IMO). You do know we'll be lookin' for an update, though, right? ;)

Posted

Four possibilities:

 

  1. He has a small dick.
     
     
  2. He does not get easy random hard-ons because has a lot of experience. I've had too much experience to merely get a hard-on by seeing tits alone (I am 31). Of course, I've been with my GF for a pretty long while. However, if you stick your ass in my face and let me take a whiff, that'll do it! During cuddling I'll get a little touchy with my GF, massage her or whatever, and that'll do it too! Physically interacting with my GF will do it for me. I get an erection almost 100% of the time when I give back and shoulder rubs. Then there is the kissing thing. Kissing does not give me an erection because I am too into the kissing. I feel like it comes from a different place for me. It's something more on the romantic and sensual side of the spectrum for me than it is erotic (though I know it can justifiably be both for a lot of people). It's difficult to explain. I mean, I'm sure I got erection from kissing when I was very young and inexperienced, but it's different now.
     
     
  3. He has ED.
     
     
  4. He was trying to not have an erection so that you don't think he is a perv/creep. Maybe that's why he took a shower. He maybe couldn't hold back anymore so he had to relieve himself.

  • Like 2
Posted

we could speculate a lot of things. Most (all?) have been mentioned. Why don't you get a re-do with another hot evening? Next time you will probably get a more definitive answer. If you're interested, which you seem like you are regardless--at least for time being, then you will have a better idea of how to proceed.

  • Like 1
Posted

^^^

 

Nice... Jhene Aiko in your sig. "My Afternoon Dream" is my fave :love:

  • Like 1
Posted

Maybe, he is super tiny?

Posted (edited)

He does not get easy random hard-ons because has a lot of experience. I've had too much experience to merely get a hard-on by seeing tits alone (I am 31). Of course, I've been with my GF for a pretty long while. However, if you stick your ass in my face and let me take a whiff, that'll do it! During cuddling I'll get a little touchy with my GF, massage her or whatever, and that'll do it too! Physically interacting with my GF will do it for me. I get an erection almost 100% of the time when I give back and shoulder rubs. Then there is the kissing thing. Kissing does not give me an erection because I am too into the kissing. I feel like it comes from a different place for me. It's something more on the romantic and sensual side of the spectrum for me than it is erotic (though I know it can justifiably be both for a lot of people). It's difficult to explain. I mean, I'm sure I got erection from kissing when I was very young and inexperienced, but it's different now.

 

I think I take the tits thing back. If you're a fresh new person and you're in a private setting, it should give him an erection if you were topless. I know the last time I went to a strip club with my GF that seeing all the boobs everywhere did nothing for me. Seeing boobs everywhere though is not the same as being in private and you showing him your boobs. It sort of says "these are for you" lol. Yep, that should do it!

 

Also, another thing that does not work is if my GF is changing and walking around topless or whatever. A guy that's been exposed to enough boobage is not going to get an erection from that. So the mood/context matters.

Edited by S_A
Posted

Does no one really do the hours-long makeouts? I do, love em. :)

 

Make-out erections - they come and go IME. For me, kissing is generally very erotic but not only erotic - it's also a very sublime but sophisticated exchange of information, a form of communication really. Bottom line is if I'm kissing a guy for an extended period of time in a manner where I'm controlling the proceedings, erections will come and go. (They can be sustained for a long time btw, but yeah four hours straight would be pretty extreme.)

Posted

[Qh? Oh and I am a pretty hot 20 something year old.

 

According to who?

Don't you know it is all chemical?

  • Author
Posted

So the second time I went to his place we ended up having sex three times over three days.

 

He isn't small at all, actually pretty big!!

 

Is it normal that he doesn't stay hard for very long? He goes semi hard when we make out, but when he puts the condom on he will lose it pretty quickly.... He needs touch to stay hard. He doesn't lose it when he is inside me though. The fourth time we tried to have sex failed cos he couldn't maintain an erection long enough to go inside me. So we just ended up making out for 3 hours instead.

 

He has no medical issues.

Posted

If the guy is not 19, all bets are off. Men are past their peak at that point. Why do you thing they call Viagra a miracle?

Posted
So the second time I went to his place we ended up having sex three times over three days.

 

He isn't small at all, actually pretty big!!

 

Is it normal that he doesn't stay hard for very long? He goes semi hard when we make out, but when he puts the condom on he will lose it pretty quickly.... He needs touch to stay hard. He doesn't lose it when he is inside me though. The fourth time we tried to have sex failed cos he couldn't maintain an erection long enough to go inside me. So we just ended up making out for 3 hours instead.

 

He has no medical issues.

 

Yay :)

 

But are you saying you stayed 3 days at his place on a second date??

Posted
Yay :)

 

But are you saying you stayed 3 days at his place on a second date??

 

He didn't kiss her till the seventh date. They're making up for lost time! ;)

  • Author
Posted

He asked me to stay over two nights at his place and at my place. Haha yes we are making up for the lost time! We are now super into each other haha

 

He did drink like a bottle of wine at the time. Do you think that would have a bad side effect.

 

He also drinks a bit in my opinion.... Beer here and there, wine and cocktails with friends occasionally. I know that can cause ED. should I say something like 'hey, maybe it's the alcohol, maybe don't drink it next time and see if it's better'.

 

Haha this is the first time I've slept with a 38 year old, this has never happened with my 25 year old guys!!

 

But it means that he is really good at foreplay and kissing... Something that all of my previous young guys did not do as they just got so aroused so quickly they didn't spend any time with me.

 

Is this something someone would leave a person for? I really like him though.

Posted
He asked me to stay over two nights at his place and at my place. Haha yes we are making up for the lost time! We are now super into each other haha

 

He did drink like a bottle of wine at the time. Do you think that would have a bad side effect.

 

He also drinks a bit in my opinion.... Beer here and there, wine and cocktails with friends occasionally. I know that can cause ED. should I say something like 'hey, maybe it's the alcohol, maybe don't drink it next time and see if it's better'.

 

Haha this is the first time I've slept with a 38 year old, this has never happened with my 25 year old guys!!

 

I do find drinking a decent amount of alcohol means that it usually takes longer to, er, finish, but I can't say I've noticed much difference in the 'starting' category.

 

Have you two actually discussed the issue of possible ED?

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