joseb Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 It got more and more intense as we went though, and even when we were spooning I didnt feel anything? If so, why would he continue? do some guys need actual touch? Oh and I am a pretty hot 20 something year old. This was the first time we made out. I'm 44, if I was making out with a pretty hot 20 something I guarantee you would notice something! Mind you I would not be making out for 4 hours without escalating. Thats for teenagers imho. 1
elaine567 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I'm 44, if I was making out with a pretty hot 20 something I guarantee you would notice something! Mind you I would not be making out for 4 hours without escalating. Thats for teenagers imho. I know, that may be another issue here, no move to remove his jeans either...
Keenly Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 OK common things are common and porn use nowadays is very common, internet porn addiction and excessive use amongst men is a well documented issue. ED caused by porn use (P.I.E.D), is easily fixed by just stopping the use of porn for weeks/months as a trial, without having to go down the medical route or trying some possibly harmful other "alternative" method. A long term single man in modern times is a prime candidate for being porn addicted. That is why it is mentioned foremost on an internet forum. Stopping porn use, is an easily instigated, harmless fix and if it works then great, if it doesn't, then a doctor is needed for more investigation into the root cause. Women don't have experience with a male body or what it's like to live in one. When you're sexually bored, with the same partner over and over again, porn can make you less likely to be horny, because you're already " satisfied ". This is not the case when it's a new partner. You're still going to get hard, because it's new, fresh, and exciting. Every time a man has a problem it doesn't mean it's porn.
mr_dave Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Some of the replies here are scaremongering a bit. The last woman I was with... she was incredible, slim, pretty, and had huge boobs, a natural 34G! (I'm a boob guy) Talk about a fantasy coming true. If my head could have exploded it would have done! Were spent a while on the sofa kissing, I was stupendously turned on. We went up to the bedroom, I spent an age on foreplay, kissing her all over etc. I was erect the whole time. But when it finally came to the condom and the actual deed, I couldn't get it up! I couldn't believe it... I think I was nervous, and it had been a while since I had been naked with a woman. I reassured her it wasn't her fault and said I would be having stern words with my appendage later on! OP, there could be a million reasons why he couldn't/ didn't get hard, it doesn't mean he's gay/ asexual/ into animals or that he doesn't fancy you. If he fancies you enough to kiss you a lot, he likes you enough to have sex with you. 5
Redhead14 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Should I be concerned we made out for 4 hours and I didnt feel anything? Well, if you're both adults and getting to the point of intimacy, you should be able to have an open conversation about it. That is an important aspect of being able to be sexual with a partner. If you can't discuss intimacy, intimacy/connection on an emotional level doesn't exist or is at least weak. Next time you get to that point and he isn't getting "hard", simply ask "is there something in particular that works for you in terms of becoming aroused?" and then let him talk. Don't say 'hey, you're not getting hard, am I doing it wrong? or "hey, you're not getting hard, what's wrong? Be light and open to things. If he needs or wants something you are uncomfortable with you can say that, but you are willing to try something else.
SSM3 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I am 40 and get plenty of hard ons......I get one talking to her but then again I'm an animal
elaine567 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 This is not the case when it's a new partner. You're still going to get hard, because it's new, fresh, and exciting.. OK then why is he not getting an erection here? the OP is fresh, young, new and willing and I guess pretty exciting. I think we all get that porn is used to "satisfy" and that is exactly why it interferes with real relationships. NO horniness, no erection APART from with porn = no real live sex. In the OPs case she IS new and his failure to have an erection could well be that he is so used to porn and being "satisfied" elsewhere. He is unable to get it up, despite being in the presence of a naked young woman and making out with her. I get that it may be performance anxiety too, but as he made no moves in that direction either, it is all a bit odd. - up all night with a naked lady making out, and he gets no erection (that she can feel) and he keeps his jeans on...
katiegrl Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Is the problem that he didn't get hard? Or is the problem that you didn't feel any attraction to him? OR, maybe the problem was that his penis is so small, you just did not feel it, even though it *was* hard! How do you know for a fact he did not get hard? I would think with a very small penis, it might be hard to tell. Just sain. 1
katiegrl Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Or maybe he is transgender? Pre-surgery? Chaz Bono does not have a penis. He has a gf though. and I am sure gets excited when he kisses her. But no penis to get hard. Just a thought.... 1
ChicagoSparty Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Hmmmm....hard to say. Could be nerves, could be small wang, could be he was and just got bored making out, could be impotence, maybe he was pretty drunk. Who knows? I'm 41, and that light ALWAYS turns on. That said, 4 hours of making out is a LOT. Now, if it were touchy/grindy/rubbing jeans kind of making out, it would be pretty obvious. If he NEVER got hard....he might have some issues going on. Get with him again and see what happens.
Keenly Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 OK then why is he not getting an erection here? the OP is fresh, young, new and willing and I guess pretty exciting. I think we all get that porn is used to "satisfy" and that is exactly why it interferes with real relationships. NO horniness, no erection APART from with porn = no real live sex. In the OPs case she IS new and his failure to have an erection could well be that he is so used to porn and being "satisfied" elsewhere. He is unable to get it up, despite being in the presence of a naked young woman and making out with her. I get that it may be performance anxiety too, but as he made no moves in that direction either, it is all a bit odd. - up all night with a naked lady making out, and he gets no erection (that she can feel) and he keeps his jeans on... I don't know why he didn't get hard. Perhaps he has legit ED. Perhaps he was feeling the passion but in his own mind it wasn't a sexual encounter so he didn't get turned on. Perhaps he is an alien from outer space. I just don't know why this forum always jumps to porn.
jen1447 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 A normal heterosexual guy, single for a while presented with a woman naked from the waist up is going to "react", if he doesn't, there is definitely some problem. Pretty much, especially considering you weren't auditioning his dick and putting him on the spot by the sound. (Guys can get psyched out if you do the "get an erection, now, do it, do it now!!!" thing, but just making out for 4 hours and getting all frisky should cause an involuntary response. Sounds like ED to me. Did he offer an explanation by any chance?
katiegrl Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I don't know why he didn't get hard. Perhaps he has legit ED. Perhaps he was feeling the passion but in his own mind it wasn't a sexual encounter so he didn't get turned on. Perhaps he is an alien from outer space. I just don't know why this forum always jumps to porn. I agree..... And I think the reason so many jump to porn is because there are soooooooo many threads from women discussing porn as being such a big problem in their sex lives with their bfs (not getting hard or getting off)....that it's natural to make that assumption. 2
LivingDeadGrl Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 You can't really compare a 25 year old to an almost 40 year old. Their packages don't work the same, lol. He probably was hard at some point but after 4 hours of making out, how can anyone keep it up? If he didn't like you I doubt he would spend so much time even kissing you. I don't think you should worry unless it becomes a recurring problem.
Author Peanutbutterjelly124 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 Pretty much, especially considering you weren't auditioning his dick and putting him on the spot by the sound. (Guys can get psyched out if you do the "get an erection, now, do it, do it now!!!" thing, but just making out for 4 hours and getting all frisky should cause an involuntary response. Sounds like ED to me. Did he offer an explanation by any chance? No he didnt offer an explanation, but he didnt actually take his jeans off so I cant be sure he didnt have an erection. Just that I could not feel one when sitting on top of him.
katiegrl Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 No he didnt offer an explanation, but he didnt actually take his jeans off so I cant be sure he didnt have an erection. Just that I could not feel one when sitting on top of him. Post no. 13.. He got hard, you just did not feel it.
jen1447 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 No he didnt offer an explanation, but he didnt actually take his jeans off so I cant be sure he didnt have an erection. Just that I could not feel one when sitting on top of him. Does he have a small dick? If not, you should be able to feel him erect or even semi erect if you're straddling his lap, no matter the pants. 1
No_Go Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Should I be concerned we made out for 4 hours and I didnt feel anything? It could be an ED. e.g. a medication induced one, but more likely performance anxiety or stress (was is the first time to try to be intimate? was the space where you made out private enough? was he tired? trying to impress you?) It could also be that you didn't feel it but he was hard (is he overweight? small penis? tight underwear? were you in close contact all the time?) My sexual experience with guys at different age (29, 37, 46): it gets more dependent on external factors with age (mood, atmosphere etc), and keeping it hard for prolonged period of time gets more difficult with age. However, that's not a statistically significant observation due to the small sample size;) 1
Author Peanutbutterjelly124 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 Does he have a small dick? If not, you should be able to feel him erect or even semi erect if you're straddling his lap, no matter the pants. I have no idea.. I guess that never occurred to me. He has bigger hands than me and he is kind of tall...
jen1447 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Ah ok, so you're still mapping the continent. Gotcha.
SycamoreCircle Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I don't know the root cause, but for whatever reason making out with you for the first time for 4 hours isn't stimulating enough for him to get an erection. And there's no real excuse for that. The first time he just gets his hands on you he should be popping wood, let alone making out for 4 hours. If he's truly interested. I get hard for my girlfriend just talking to her on the phone. Or on LS. 2
caringsister Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 You made out with him for four hours and didn't touch his crotch? You were sitting on top of him and couldnt feel anything? Hells bells girl. A four hour make out had to get pretty hot and heavy. You'd think one of you would have taken the initiative to free willy and let him go. Either your a big tease and had no intentions of getting it on or he's gay, transgendered, has a little teeny tiny thumb for a dick or he was on something and couldnt get it up. Unless he went up and down the roller coaster of hope he finally just petered out and figured this is as good as the rides gonna get.
NopeNah Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I'm astonished by the 4hr make out session,with no sex..Seriously? He was probably thinking "this girl just wants to kiss for this long? Boooooring!" or...micro penis. 1
empresario Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 He probably just psyched himself out. There was a less confident, over-thinking version of me from 5 years ago that could make out for long periods of time without getting hard. Not because I wasn't horny. There are several factors that go into it. Some of it was porn induced erectile dysfunction (I used to never really get hard unless it was being touched or I was actively having sex...since then that's not the case). Some of it was nerves and lack of self-confidence. Even some of it was the discomfort of it. I'm not a small guy and getting an erection in briefs is actually pretty painful. So my body is trained to not get full on wood if it's pointed downward (because I know it will be uncomfortable). Maybe a little graphic but it's the truth...even today. It will be non-erect until I reach in and readjust to point it upwards...then magic. Within 15 seconds it's full on. I don't know if any of this helps, but it is a different perspective. I don't think you can always judge a book by its cover. At any rate, if you noticed so did he and he's definitely self conscious about it. 2
empresario Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 I have no idea.. I guess that never occurred to me. He has bigger hands than me and he is kind of tall... Sociologically it has been proven that ethnicity, height, hand size, etc have no bearing on your dick size. Short gangly people can have big, thick dicks, and tall people can have small dicks. In fact there is no correlation at all. Mother nature is a mad scientist.
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