Jump to content

Is this a problem or am I freaking out?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

My girlfriend of 8 months just started recently following her ex of almost 2yrs on social networks again. She had been not following him but all of a sudden I guess she's changed her mind. This man did her absolutely wrong and cheated on her for quite some time and due to my girlfriends past promiscuous-ness before her and I dated, I have no trust in what she's doing here. Am I overreacting or am I rightfully pissed?

Posted

What is her explanation for following him all of a sudden?

  • Author
Posted
What is her explanation for following him all of a sudden?

 

She doesn't have one. She'll claim it was all innocent, just to do it.

Posted
My girlfriend of 8 months just started recently following her ex of almost 2yrs on social networks again. She had been not following him but all of a sudden I guess she's changed her mind. This man did her absolutely wrong and cheated on her for quite some time and due to my girlfriends past promiscuous-ness before her and I dated, I have no trust in what she's doing here. Am I overreacting or am I rightfully pissed?

 

As stated in your post, you don't trust her. Maybe for good reason, or maybe because you're paranoid. You haven't given me enough information to be able to determine whether or not you're paranoid, though I'm sensing some seriously judgmental vibes from you, which would most likely make you...Christian.

 

If you're going to hold her past against her, let her go. It's not fair for her to be with someone who won't give her a second chance. And it's not fair for you to be with someone who's not as perfect as you are.

 

Let her go, and find someone less promiscuous, like yourself. Maybe a good Christian woman. Happy waiting until you're married to have sex!

Posted

SJ69,

 

I smell a rat, (as we say in UK) and a two-legged one. :)

 

Judgement aside, I always say that past behaviour is a good indication of present and future behaviour.

 

If your gut is telling you to beware, then listen to it.

 

I can't tell you what to do, but I would ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship with someone you can't trust ?:rolleyes:

Posted

people are often drawn to checking on exes .. but the whole because of "this or that" irrelevant crock of ... where the mind goes, the body soon follows.

Posted (edited)
My girlfriend of 8 months just started recently following her ex of almost 2yrs on social networks again. She had been not following him but all of a sudden I guess she's changed her mind. This man did her absolutely wrong and cheated on her for quite some time and due to my girlfriends past promiscuous-ness before her and I dated, I have no trust in what she's doing here. Am I overreacting or am I rightfully pissed?

 

Well, sure, you have a right to be pissed. Your feelings are your feelings. However, I'd keep them in check. I think it's time for you to check the "temperature" of your relationship.

 

Have a casual, non-confrontational, non-accusatory conversation with her to find out "where" she is in YOUR relationship. Don't mention the social media stuff yet. Tell her "I love you and respect our relationship and want to keep it healthy and work together on things that you feel we need to work on. Is there anything that bothers you at this point? I'm looking at the long-term with you and want to keep moving forward."

 

She may be feeling that the relationship has stagnated and not getting enough from you to demonstrate enough for her to think things are moving along and now seeking comfort or a safety net if things don't work out.

 

If she says all is well but still reaching out to him, she may have already decided to move on herself. But observe her reaction and behavior after that conversation for a while. If she is thinking of cheating, hopefully, the conversation will tap into her conscience a little bit and cause her to rethink things.

 

This is a way for you to be proactive with the situation instead of reactive. As far as you know, she hasn't done anything yet beyond the social media stuff. Yeah, it's not cool, but you've kinda got a heads up now that indicates something maybe wrong in the relationship and you have the opportunity to nip it in the bud.

Edited by Redhead14
×
×
  • Create New...