imtrying211 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Just passed the 3 month post breakup mark. Was doing well for a while, then recently felt myself slipping backwards, the tears started coming again, and the desire to send that one "final" email (which I didn't send, yay!). I know what caused this minor relapse, and what is preventing me from moving on and that is MYSELF. As of today I am going to stop hurting myself. No more trying to run into him at work, no more chatting like friends at work, no more checking his gf's social media pages. I'm done! I tried to fool myself into believing we could just be friends, but that's not really what it was. It was me trying to win him back by showing him I was OK with how things turned out, no hard feelings. But I'm not OK with it. What he did, things he said, is not OK. I feel like when he approaches me at work and we BS about life like nothing ever happened, it's like I'm stroking his ego, giving him a pass, pretending like everything is sunshine and rainbows. Whether he approaches me out of guilt, pity, whatever, I know it's not for the reasons I want it to be, which is he realized he made a mistake and wants to come back, so I'm wasting my damn time. I'm slowly starting to believe that I don't need someone like him in my life. I don't need someone that didn't appreciate the unconditional love, support, trust, that I gave him. I have to avoid him, let him go, let us go. He's already gone anyway, gone back to his toxic ex, so why am I even waiting around? It's stupid, and I'm not a stupid person. I'm also not a weak person, so I'm no longer going to let him control my happiness. Yes, we had a great year+, I was happier than I had ever been before, but it's time for me to leave that in the past. He is just someone I used to know and love. I still love him, probably always will, but he doesn't love me. What more do I need to realize he isn't coming back? Nothing. It's plain as day and I need to accept that and stop thinking/hoping our story isn't over. I know it's going to be tough, it sure has been for the past 3 months, but I know I can do this!
hotmrw Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Such a sad story, and one I can familiarize with, I was dumped, and replaced by my Ex of 2 years for another guy, she then moved him in, got engaged to him, agreed to marry him, is going to Thailand with him in September, banned me from her house, cut me out, cut me off, removed me from Facebook, speaks to me like sh*t treats me like sh*t, and to make things worse we have a 13 month old daughter that this new dude picks up from nursery 5 days a week, they all then go and have Tea together, and I have not seen my little girl in nearly 1 month I wish I had a magic wand for you, sadly I don't, but my ex acts pretty much as if nothing has happened when I see her, some people are just CRAP people I think, and we just need to move on, there is no other way, we dont need to move on with another person, just move on, we will look back on our situations one day and laugh, keep your head up, remember that there are lots of others going through what you are, I feel your pain and sadness, but we will get there, and if they do come back we probably wont want them by then any way
Ariess10 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 It is sad , I'm coming up in 4months and it's time to let go and move on .. It's time 1
casey.lives Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 i think i might seem hung up on m ex because he was the last person i was with but im not ... he thought me a lot about how ugly life is and how nothing is what it seems and i just lost interest in everything and everyone. im not hung up on him but on the pain-filled scary world he opened my eyes to. i feel traumatized and lost
Author imtrying211 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 Such a sad story, and one I can familiarize with, I was dumped, and replaced by my Ex of 2 years for another guy, she then moved him in, got engaged to him, agreed to marry him, is going to Thailand with him in September, banned me from her house, cut me out, cut me off, removed me from Facebook, speaks to me like sh*t treats me like sh*t, and to make things worse we have a 13 month old daughter that this new dude picks up from nursery 5 days a week, they all then go and have Tea together, and I have not seen my little girl in nearly 1 month I wish I had a magic wand for you, sadly I don't, but my ex acts pretty much as if nothing has happened when I see her, some people are just CRAP people I think, and we just need to move on, there is no other way, we dont need to move on with another person, just move on, we will look back on our situations one day and laugh, keep your head up, remember that there are lots of others going through what you are, I feel your pain and sadness, but we will get there, and if they do come back we probably wont want them by then any way I'm so sorry you are going through such turmoil. What a terrible situation to be in with a child involved. I hope your ex comes to her senses for your daughter, and if not, she will one day regret it. Some people do just suck, suck at life, suck at love. We are not those people. I love with everything in me, but to my ex, I guess that just wasn't enough. His loss then! It's just so unfair how people can completely crush someone they supposedly once loved, and then go about their happy, merry life like nothing. I struggle everyday. The first thought when I wake up every morning is still that he's gone, this is my new reality. I can't wait for the day when I no longer care that he left, and I realize I am better off without him. On a positive note, I made it through yesterday sticking to my healing plan, just one day at a time is all we can do.
Author imtrying211 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 And I've now failed at day 2. So mad at myself. Saw my ex at work, he asked me for a smoke and instead of just making it brief, I decide to join him outside. We just had a short convo cause I had to get back inside. May not seem like a big deal, but I'm kicking myself for it. I feel my emotions swirling. WTF! I'm just so drawn to him, like a drug. Back to square one I guess......
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