jrtfrisco Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Met a girl (I'll call her "A"), first date a month ago (good talk, kissed), second date week later (same as date one). Tried for date three the next two weeks later, but seemed like she was making excuses why she couldn't (such as seeing friends, or work, etc.). She kept texting me here and there though, telling me how busy she is with work (new job, crazy hours...which at first I didn't believe, but now do believe). I had nothing else going on so I entertained the texts (though was feeling less and less interested), us making tentative plans each week that never happened (as she was always so busy with work). During this time, I met a new girl (call her "B"). Me and B seem to have hit it off, and had a good second date a week ago. However, girl A texted me mid-week as well asking to meet over the weekend...which I reluctantly said yes to (in part because although I liked B, it was still early with B, and I felt there was no harm seeing/talking with girl A in person to see if any connection exists and to keep my options open...as dating can be rough and who knows if girl B liked me). But A instead texts me the night before we're scheduled to meet and asks to come over to my spot instead that night. Because I like B now, I was again reluctant, but tell myself to just talk with A and call it an early night, but instead we end up kissing, and then she asks to go to my bedroom, where we end up having sex (which was tough to decline as well, as I haven't had sex in a while). After though, she asks to sleep over, and tries to cuddle all night (and I got this vibe that she really likes me), and I felt weird/not good because (1) felt like this was moving too fast, as I'm not sure if we have chemistry and could date (as at the end of the day I want a relationship, and preferred to have slept after getting to know her more), and (2) I like B now. She texts me the next night asking how my day was, and visa versa, and that was the last time we talked. One day later, I see B and we hit it off even more so (and I think just want to date her now). How do I now handle girl A? Do I text or call and tell her "this isn't for me," or is that too dramatic (given we only hung out three times, and we talk so sparingly and she's always so busy with work)? Do I let it play out and see if she texts me again, and maybe let the convo die out? I just want to do what's right, and not string her along. However, I don't even know how she really feels about this all (I just got this vibe from that night that she really liked me, though I can be overestimating/overthinking the situation). I'd appreciate your thoughts, thanks.
Mrin Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I think being direct is always the be course of action. I would just call her up and say that this isn't for you. If she presses, I would be honest and say that in the waffle-period after date 2 you met someone else that you really fancy and would rather focus on her. It would be good for her to known the impact of the waffle period. 2
LivingDeadGrl Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Doing the dirty with her was a poor choice. I would maybe just say you aren't really feeling a connection with her and her schedule doesn't seem to allow you two to get to know each other as much as you had liked. Hearing this she might say she will make more time, at this point you can let her know you've met someone else. She might be upset but at least you'll be honest and she won't end up wondering what happened.
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