laneyinlove Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 HI all, Quick summary of my situation. My ex and I broke up 2 months ago and had been seeing each other pretty regularly and I had been hoping we had gotten back together. So I really messed up and I think I blew my chances of having him back. This weekend I ended up going to a party while he was at poker night with his boys. He let me stay and play with the boys for a while but then he said something mean to me when I lost like too bad just go off already and play with the girls. I got mad at him and went to my party and invited this other guy I am seeing. When I got back fromt he party, I ended up going over to my exes house and asked him for all of our pictures on his computer because I said I needed a clean break from him if he couldn't love me the way I wanted him to. I told him I invited the other guy to the party and that we had a good time. My ex ended up trying to kick me out of the house and after a while when I would not leave without the pictures he ended up being violent and pushed me down. I was crying and he said look what you made me do. Any normal person would have just left. needless to say I was hurt but then I called him yesterday and told him I realize this game we have been playing back and forth is dangerous. I told him I love him and want to be with him. he told me had I said it before this incident he might have just married me? but after this incident he cannot be with me because he does not have conviction and too much doubt. he says he loves me but we are too volatile together. I told him we have been playing games too much none of us has let our guard down in order to let the other one in and I wanted him to stop it now and commit or I have to start forgetting and moving on. he said no he could not see himself with me right now. Have I blown it totally? Is there anything I can do to win himback? I plan to do no contact but does that mean no IMing as well? Please help.
FolderWife Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Are you STUPID!?!?!??! YOU'RE ONLY DATING HIM AND HE HAS ALREADY SHOVED YOU!?!?!?!? Get a clue, and be glad that he doesn't take you back
FolderWife Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 And I say all that from the experience of being married to a man who just yesterday threw a piano bench through my TV, BECAUSE I DRAGGED A CHAIR TO THE DINING ROOM! Oh yeah, he called and apologized, and offered to wash my car for me, but I HAD TO LIVE WITH HIS CRAP LAST NIGHT!!!! Find yourself a nice CALM man...like I wish I had. This "abuse" may not be HUGE, but it's still abuse, and it SUCKS!
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 I plan to do no contact but does that mean no IMing as well? Yes. No contact in any way, shape or form. If he has asked you to back off, to the point of physical violence you will definitely want to do that. This 'no contact' is not a magic trick to get him back. In this case its an unbiased, uninterrupted time to get your head and heart back together. Once you get back on your own two feet emotionally, then you'll be better prepared to decide if you really, objectively want to be back with him. He'll also need this time to process in the same way. Anything you do to 'win him back' right now will be to him nothing more than 'unwelcome attention' that he will, over time - tolerate less and less the harder you try. Back off now, before you turn what little emotion he has left for you to hatred.
Elaine Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 MAJOR RED FLAG there girlie - if he pushed you (and no man should ever push/shove/hit a woman no matter how pissed she makes him...) he's got zero respect for you. Don't accept his apologies - have a breakdown and accept the fact he's not for you and stay away from him. I was married to a cop - he shoved me. He apologized, begged forgiveness - I divorced him and never looked back. Months later his new girlfriend emailed me and said he hit her upside the head with an iron. And this was a guy who was a 19 yr. veteran cop! It all starts with a shove and just gets worse from there.............get away from him.
Recommended Posts