He says he loves me as a friend now

[techi14]

Hello,

I need some advises. Sorry if I misspell something; English is not my first language.

I have been dating this guy for 7 months and it has been a LDR for only one.

Since I realized he was moving out of town ( in March of this year) I got terribly scared. I have an anxiety problem (recently diagnosed) and I guess that was making me pick up several and ridiculous fights. We had good times together, but we have had horrible nights due to my fears.

As I mentioned before, he has only moved a month ago and it has been very difficult for us.

we have had very strong fights and I got a very bad panic attack on April 29th.

He got very scared about it to the point that he tried to contact people that were in my same town to help me.

After that week, I started attending more counseling sessions and even taking supplements that could help me control my anxiety problems, but I fear it is too late.

We saw each other on July 4th weekend and I felt he was different. We hardly kiss or touch and at some point when I asked him if he missed having sex, he only replied, " I guess"

I didn't tell him anything that weekend because I thought it was my fear playing tricks on me.

However, it wasn't. Three days after that weekend he called me and said that he is in a funk and he doesn't feel passion for me anymore.

he said that he started feeling like that after that weekend in which I had a panic attack. He said that he feels that he only loves me as a friend now.

I asked him if he wanted to break up or not. And he said he wants to wait because maybe is something momentary.

I feel very sad about it. I have to take responsibility for taking my relationship to this point. It is my fault. I should have search for professional help before and do not let this hurts us.

 

He is on a family trip since Friday (7/10) . Friday afternoon he texted pictures through facebook. He always does that no matter where he goes. After that he hasn't communicate at all. I sent him a message on Sunday and he replied very cold ( not even as friend) and he told me to not worry about not chatting, that connection is very bad in Yosemite (California) and he is having a great time. I have seen he is getting online periodically, but not talking to me.

I feel hanging on a string right now and trust me it is not a very good feeling.

What should I do?

Does this mean that this is over?

I don't know what to do right now. I don't know if I should let him go since nobody should be in a relationship without passion. Or should I wait and hope with all my heart that can love me as much as I do?

 

Thank you in advance

Techi

[Rewan]

I'm terribly sorry to hear that you're going through so much pain, as I know exactly what it feels like.. :S I've been in a situation before which was similar, and it is tough..

 

But regardless of how much this will hurt to read, I honestly believe that this was a cop out for him. I don't think, based on his actions that you described and what you're saying that he said, that he is using your fear as a way of ending a relationship that he has discovered he is not as into as he once thought he was. This is shown, in my opinion, through his coldness toward you and general distance because if he legitimately cared about your fear, I think he would have made the effort to work through it more.

 

Love does not just go away or lessen overnight like that..which makes me believe that the emotional stress of dealing with your anxiety and the stress which the distance put on your relationship made the shine wear off and allowed him to see that he wasn't into it. I'm really sorry because I know that it's insanely difficult to read, but I think that you're being led on. That is why I recommend that you end things now and walk away. I think you'll feel better in the long run if you do because you would not have settled for waiting around on him to make up his mind.

 

If you don't end things, it is my belief that he probably will continue to ignore you and then either eventually wait until the relationship disintegrates on its own accord or breaks up with you. Either way, I feel, will be more devastating that leaving..

 

I'm really sorry because I know this is not what someone in your position would want to hear- it wouldn't be something I'd want to hear- but I hope it helps. Please, no matter what, stay strong. :S