nidd Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) Hello!I'm new to this website.My friend recommended it to me after I told him I needed to share this experience with people who have been cheated on as well and might be able to relate to me.So,my story is a unbelievable.It is very hard to believe.I,myself am still shocked even though it happened 3 days ago. Me and my wife have been married for 19 years now.We have a son who's 11.In terms of parenting, I believe we are both doing a great job.We both work.We both spend as much time as possible with our daughter.Maybe that is the problem-we don't have that much time for us any more.Before we had our daughter we used to go out every night and do romantic stuff for couples and our sex life was amazing!Now,we hardly ever have sex.That is one thing that started bothering me and I started missing but I realized that at this age sex cannot come first and that this rut that me and my wife are in is normal for all couples in our situation but apparently my wife didn't share my opinion because she cheated on me.The worst part about is is that I caught her in the act and she doesn't even know I caught her. Recently,at dinner,she started receiving phone calls very frequently and by that I mean every single evening.I'd always trusted my wife but I started to become suspicious towards her.Last week when she was having a bath before work she received a message on Facebook.I took the liberty to take her iPhone and read it.But because I didn't know her password for unlocking the device or whatever it's called(I'm sorry,when it comes to technology I'm out of my element)I couldn't read the entire message.However,it was a message from on of her friends(female friends).It read something along the lines of:So what happened last night?.... I was confused because I thought maybe my wife was seeing her friends and not necessarily cheating on me but shortly after reading that message her phone received an email from Ashley Madison so at that moment I knew she was having an affair.To my chagrin,when she was done taking a bath and went in her room to dress up I overheard a conversation she was having with her friend.I heard her say:I'm so glad I took a sabbatical,now I can see him every day.I feel so good I haven't felt like this is ages,I just feel so guilty though...maybe I should confess to my husband....and after a few more mins of talking on the phone she hung up.I was flabbergasted,I was shocked.I decided to follow her to the place where she was gonna be meeting the other guy.I did just that.She checked into a hotel.I tried to check in myself but that wasn't gonna do any good so I asked them about the room my wife was in.I told them her name and everything they needed to know.All they said on the reception was:I'm sorry sir we cannot give you such information.I was furious but I didn't let my emotions get the better of me.I didn't want to confront my wife about it either because she's that type of person who will deny everything until proven otherwise.So I decided to catch her in the act. I came up with a brilliant plan.I figured since there are a lot of books at home organized on shelves I could hide a small camera somewhere.Long story short,I bought a camera and hid it and then I tested it.It was recording in good quality.I hid it in the bedroom because I told my wife my mother was dying so I'd be away for a couple of days so I figured if she took the liberty to bring that guy over here then they'd do it in the bedroom.What happened was I waited 2 days.My friend put me up for a night over at his.Then I went back home.My wife was there,our son too and everything seemed to be normal.We had dinner and when everyone went to bed I took my laptop and the camera and then I watched the full recording. I was right.My wife did have a lover and she did bring him over to our home when I was away.I thought she said she felt guilty.She could've at least ****ed him in that hotel again.I don't think I could ever get over what I watched.It was like watching a porno.They were kissing very pationately.The guy was tall,I couldn't see his face properly because he was wearing a baseball cap.She pushed him on our bed and started taking her clothes off.I could see her back and the back of her head because that was the angle the camera was recording from.She was telling him how sexy he was and so on.She took off his pants and gave him a blowjob(something she doesn't do for me any more and the guy wasn't even wearing a condom).Then he went down on her.Then they had sex in our own bed which I couldn't see much of because they were underneath the sheets.And then I saw my wife do something I never thought she'd do.The guy straddled her,he got on top of her and even though I couldn't see it properly,he came on her face.They both remained silent for a while.I was so shocked and so angry at that time.Then they started talking dirty to each other(also something me and her don't do any more)she told him she'd kiss me without brushing her teeth when I got home and gave him another blowjob.Then he laid back down,my wife rested her head on his belly and blew him as he was playing with her hair.I was disgusted.I even watched them dress up in the end.So now 3 days later i still haven't decided what to do.We have a son.If we didn't I'd divorce her right away.I just don't know why she would do that after so many years of being together.My friend thinks I should contact a good attorney and offered to help me find one.He also thinks I should confront my wife about it but I shouldn't give up my evidence. Edited July 13, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs 1
gettingstronger Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 You mention a son and a daughter- which is it or is it both? Not that it matters too much- my best advice is to take a little time for you before you talk with your wife about this- this sounds very traumatic- if you decide to reconcile, read and give to your wife the pinned post at the top "what every WS should know" - it gives a good outline of what comes next- 1
Author nidd Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 OP , do you have a son or a daughter? A son.I'm sorry for misspelling,I thought I corrected it.It took me ages to write this thread.I really suck at using an iPhond.I'm sorry!
RaRa89 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 What an awful thing to see You have two options: either give her a chance to explain and work through this together, or form an escape plan and leave. She obviously has reached a point where, even if she still loves you, she feels stuck in a rut and has found some new excitement in her life. Don't take this personally, because I can imagine that a long term marriage must take a lot of work to stay exciting and fulfilling. But at the end of the day, if you have made a commitment to someone and you love them, you don't cheat on them. Even if you have the occasionally fantasy, it should be just that. The only thing I would say is that you have breached her privacy by looking at her phone and setting up a camera... if I were you, I would try and get her to confess without saying what you saw. Explain the reasons why you were suspicious to begin with and ask her to tell you the whole truth. If she lies, then ask her outright questions... did you have a man here the other night? Did you engage in sexual activity with him? Yes or no answer questions only. She may think 'how does he know this?!' but she'll be more focused on putting things straight and feeling horrendously guilty. For all she knows, her lover might have confessed all to you. If she continues to lie, I would leave for a day or too and let her think things through. When she gets in contact, tell her that the truth needs to come out and she needs to explain what she wants... you, or to break up and move on. But in your heart, do you think that you can forgive her? This is going to be a long road to recovery, involving honesty and probably some counselling, but it will only work if you both want it too... and if she is honest. Good luck
Author nidd Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 What an awful thing to see You have two options: either give her a chance to explain and work through this together, or form an escape plan and leave. She obviously has reached a point where, even if she still loves you, she feels stuck in a rut and has found some new excitement in her life. Don't take this personally, because I can imagine that a long term marriage must take a lot of work to stay exciting and fulfilling. But at the end of the day, if you have made a commitment to someone and you love them, you don't cheat on them. Even if you have the occasionally fantasy, it should be just that. The only thing I would say is that you have breached her privacy by looking at her phone and setting up a camera... if I were you, I would try and get her to confess without saying what you saw. Explain the reasons why you were suspicious to begin with and ask her to tell you the whole truth. If she lies, then ask her outright questions... did you have a man here the other night? Did you engage in sexual activity with him? Yes or no answer questions only. She may think 'how does he know this?!' but she'll be more focused on putting things straight and feeling horrendously guilty. For all she knows, her lover might have confessed all to you. If she continues to lie, I would leave for a day or too and let her think things through. When she gets in contact, tell her that the truth needs to come out and she needs to explain what she wants... you, or to break up and move on. But in your heart, do you think that you can forgive her? This is going to be a long road to recovery, involving honesty and probably some counselling, but it will only work if you both want it too... and if she is honest. Good luck I do believe I can forgive her but she could've at least had this affair elsewhere and not in our house,not in our bed and she could've at least be respectful to me and not tell her lover how she'd humiliate me by kissing me with that mouth.I can forgive her but I don't think I can get over these details.It's too harsh.Maybe we won't get divorced for the sake of our child's happiness but..I don't think things will ever be the same between us.
GorillaTheater Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Nidd, I admit I'm having problems believing your post. When someone comes here with a play-by-play account, I wonder if it's true or someone posting something that belongs more on Literotica than on a relationship site. If I'm wrong, please accept my sincere apology. Assuming I'm wrong, I can't see any reconciliation in your case. The basis for it, primarily remorse on the part of your wife, just ain't there. This is a woman who wants to actively humiliate you. Not only does she not respect you (obviously), but she seems to hate your guts. She's going to f*ck around with other men and almost literally rub your nose in it. Divorce her ass, pronto. 13
dental Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Nidd, I admit I'm having problems believing your post. When someone comes here with a play-by-play account, I wonder if it's true or someone posting something that belongs more on Literotica than on a relationship site. If I'm wrong, please accept my sincere apology. Same for me.
CarrieT Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Serve her with divorce documents along with a thumb drive of the video. The son/daughter will survive; most children of divorce do - and would you want to teach your child that cheating is an acceptable behavior? Because they will find out about the affair and that is the lesson they will learn. 5
Chi townD Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I agree with Gorilla. Most people that actually witness there significant other have sex with someone else can't usually write out a play by play. Most would just say, "I saw the video and they had sex in our bed". They don't want to dwell on it because it's too painful to recount. That being said and if this is what truly happened, then there's not a lot of hope. Less than 7% of marriages survive when infidelity is actually witnessed by the other. It's an image that just won't go away. Also, the fact that she enjoys humiliating you by sucking this guy off and not cleaning up after for the sole purpose is to have you taste him should be enough to kick her to the curb. 7
road Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Do you want to divorce or save your marriage? Sitting here doing nothing will yield just that.
goodyblue Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Did you post that here because Penthouse turned down your submission? Son/daughter, you couldn't see his face because of a cap, but watched them both dress after? If you went to your dying mother, would your child and wife not go also? Go home, rewrite, resubmit. Maybe Penthouse will change their mind. 9
italianjob Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 FWIW, same story posted on another site. Daughter stayed daughter there, even in subsequent comments You need to edit this a little better, too many inconsistencies... 6
Lois_Griffin Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 LOL. Saw this on an infidelity site but over there, the OP claims he has an 11 year old daughter, not a son like he's claiming here. I agree with the others. Methinks this is a wanna-be cuckold husband breathing through his mouth and drooling onto his keyboard while typing with one hand all his wife's sexual exploits and how she's humiliating him. Slow day at the office today, perhaps? 5
Mr Mind of Shazam Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I don't see what the problem is. Your wife prefers to make love with her boyfriend. If that's ok with you, fine. If it's not, leave her. What's the controversy? 1
sandylee1 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 A son.I'm sorry for misspelling,I thought I corrected it.It took me ages to write this thread.I really suck at using an iPhond.I'm sorry! Okay ............. Was your wife not concerned about your dying mother? Why didn't she go with you? Was the baseball cap on while they were in bed ? Have you thought of playing the tape for your wife , so you don't actually have to say anything? Have you thought about getting in therapy? 3
spanz1 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I do believe I can forgive her but she could've at least had this affair elsewhere and not in our house,not in our bed and she could've at least be respectful to me and not tell her lover how she'd humiliate me by kissing me with that mouth.I can forgive her but I don't think I can get over these details.It's too harsh.Maybe we won't get divorced for the sake of our child's happiness but..I don't think things will ever be the same between us. you can NOT forgive her, unless she is remorseful and is willing to do the heavy lifting to resurrect the dead marriage. You will be just shoveling sand against the tide otherwise. So either divorce her, try to reconcile (but with your eyes wide open for a false reconciliation), or negotiate an open marriage. IF you try to reconcile, some professional help would be advised, counseling for you and you as a couple.
aliveagain Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) .However,it was a message from on of her friends(female friends).It read something along the lines of:So what happened last night?.... I was confused because I thought maybe my wife was seeing her friends and not necessarily cheating on me but shortly after reading that message her phone received an email from Ashley Madison so at that moment I knew she was having an affair.night over at his.Then I went back home.My wife was there,our son too and everything seemed to be normal.We had dinner and when everyone went to bed I took my laptop and the camera and then I watched the full recording. I was right.My wife did have a lover and she did bring him over to our home when I was away.I thought she said she felt guilty.She could've at least ****ed him in that hotel again.I don't think I could ever get over what I watched.It was like watching a porno.They were kissing very pationately.The guy was tall,I couldn't see his face properly because he was wearing a baseball cap.She pushed him on our bed and started taking her clothes off.I could see her back and the back of her head because that was the angle the camera was recording from.She was telling him how sexy he was and so on.She took off his pants and gave him a blowjob(something she doesn't do for me any more and the guy wasn't even wearing a condom).Then he went down on her.Then they had sex in our own bed which I couldn't see much of because they were underneath the sheets.And then I saw my wife do something I never thought she'd do.The guy straddled her,he got on top of her and even though I couldn't see it properly,he came on her face.They both remained silent for a while.I was so shocked and so angry at that time.Then they started talking dirty to each other(also something me and her don't do any more)she told him she'd kiss me without brushing her teeth when I got home and gave him another blowjob.Then he laid back down,my wife rested her head on his belly and blew him as he was playing with her hair.I was disgusted.I even watched them dress up in the end.So now 3 days later i still haven't decided what to do.We have a son.If we didn't I'd divorce her right away.I just don't know why she would do that after so many years of being together.My friend thinks I should contact a good attorney and offered to help me find one.He also thinks I should confront my wife about it but I shouldn't give up my evidence. Talk to a lawyer, you never stay just because of children because one day your children will leave and your still stuck with a nasty, lying cheater who defiled your sanctuary by riding him bareback in your own bed. What kind of sick fu*k brags to her lover that she kissed you with his sperm still swimming around in her mouth? She's not just cheating she's enjoying emasculating you. You can live 5 lifetimes and you will never get rid off the images of them in your bed. Show her the same respect she's showing you, serve her. Get rid of all the friends that knew but didn't tell you. Edited July 13, 2015 by aliveagain 2
Mr. Lucky Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Did you post that here because Penthouse turned down your submission? Son/daughter, you couldn't see his face because of a cap, but watched them both dress after? If you went to your dying mother, would your child and wife not go also? Go home, rewrite, resubmit. Maybe Penthouse will change their mind. Rather than a letter to Penthouse, it's part of: after reading that message her phone received an email from Ashley Madison so at that moment I knew she was having an affair. their new marketing campaign... Mr. Lucky 6
goodyblue Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Rather than a letter to Penthouse, it's part of: their new marketing campaign... Mr. Lucky Lmao! Awesome. 1
aliveagain Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Rather than a letter to Penthouse, it's part of: their new marketing campaign... Mr. Lucky She probably got a reference from her last hookup. They rate you as a good date, on your accuracy of posting and if they recommend you to other men to try out, fu*ken sick I know. Some of the women that have been on the site for a while have huge lists of recommendations, all from the men they have cheated with. The bigger the referral list the more men they have been with. Wait until their busted and their husbands see their list, won't help their chances for reconciliation. She probably got a notice of a new recommendation. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 She probably got a reference from her last hookup. They rate you as a good date, on your accuracy of posting and if they recommend you to other men to try out, fu*ken sick I know. Some of the women that have been on the site for a while have huge lists of recommendations, all from the men they have cheated with. The bigger the referral list the more men they have been with. Wait until their busted and their husbands see their list, won't help their chances for reconciliation. She probably got a notice of a new recommendation. So you're saying that, similar to Loveshack, you get "likes" based on your activity? Didn't know it worked that way but probably shouldn't be surprised... Mr. Lucky 1
bubbaganoosh Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 You asked what you should do? Get a lawyer, file, throw her out, be the best parent you can be, get rid of the bed and move on. You have the video, so use it, show it to her and then show her the door. See? That's what you do. 1
happyman64 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Nidd Before you decide to R or D you should do a few things. 1.see a lawyer. 2. Secure your finances. 3. Make a copy of that video for evidence. 4. Get into her account and get the Ashley Madison emails to verify t is one guy. 5. On D-Day not only out her when your kid is not present but leave her a copy of the video. 6. On the same day out her GF to her husband so he knows his wife is an active accomplice that has hurt your marriage. 7. Expose to her parents that their D is a cheater. 8. Let the OM's wife know her husband had sex with your wife multiple times and in your house. here is a copy of the video for you to use. Let your H know if he ever steps foot in my house again it till be his last steps taken on two legs. Then let your wife know the name and number of your attorney. Your wife is not only selfish but her desire to shame you is not forgivable. Tell her to get tested for std's before you will even talk to her. That is how you show your wife what a real man looks like. HM 2
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