Is it normal to have a supervisor that wants to be your best friend?

[Bobbi7]

I've been at my job for a few years, never had to deal with a nosy supervisor, until last year we got a new supervisor. He's ok, but he's one of those annoying managers that like to pry into everyone's life. Like he goes around to each desk and starts asking what are weekend plans are, he keeps a close eye on people. He wants everyone to eat together and be friends. When clearly, some of use don't get along with each other. He starts pressing the issue if we hate our job-well I doubt anyone is going to admit that to a manager! My god. It's starting to get on my nerves. He sees who we sit with. He calls people out if they seem reserved. People have their reasons to be reserved.

[Arieswoman]

Q

Is it normal to have a supervisor that wants to be your best friend?

A. No.

 

This sounds creepy to me.

 

I wouldn't tell them anything important about your life.

If he asks about w/e plans tell him you're having a party/bbq/anything exciting to make the sad b@$t@rd jealous.

 

You should feel sorry for him.

 

However, if he steps over the line and starts asking about your personal life, then you need to tell him you find his questions inappropriate - if he persists you need to tell Human Resources.

[d0nnivain]

A good supervisor cares about employees as people, so an inquiry about whether you had a nice weekend is a throw away Q. A good supervisor who wants a harmonious team is also beneficial to the company but too much togetherness can backfire.

 

Just keep things even keeled. Give him banal answers when he asks -- just relaxing, recharging my batteries, maybe going to a BBQ. Give him a little but not too much. Show you are a team player.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Yes, for a guy that wants to get into a girl's panties.

 

 

No for a professional work relationship.

[Got it]

A good supervisor cares about employees as people, so an inquiry about whether you had a nice weekend is a throw away Q. A good supervisor who wants a harmonious team is also beneficial to the company but too much togetherness can backfire.

 

Just keep things even keeled. Give him banal answers when he asks -- just relaxing, recharging my batteries, maybe going to a BBQ. Give him a little but not too much. Show you are a team player.

 

Caring about one's employees means pay well, give good benefits, make sure there is a work life balance and make pathways for upward mobility. It is not ridiculous questions about banal personal events.

 

My team knows I care about them but it does not include discussing their weekend events. If there are issues, let me know and I will support and accommodate but I do not like to discuss my personal life and I grant my team the same. Some people do and they are free to talk to me about it but I don't solicit. I feel that is incredible rude.

 

But I make sure they take time off, see their family and that work is not an overbearing burden spilling into their home life. That, to me, is the most supporting role I can be for them.

 

So OP - my answer, that is a very weak manager who doesn't actually know how to manage so waste his time on shallow pointless pieces and probably is also a bit of a noisy individual. My general answer to a weekend question is "good, thanks". And then smile and leave it at that.

[d0nnivain]

Got it. All I'm saying is that a inquiry . . . did you have a nice weekend is not the worst management style in the world. It's a casual throw away Q that does not require a detailed answer but does transcend only professional associations. If that is the worse thing a manager does, the person is probably an OK manager assuming the employee is free to answer "fine", not elaborate & not ask about the manager's weekend.

[jen1447]

I've been at my job for a few years, never had to deal with a nosy supervisor, until last year we got a new supervisor. He's ok, but he's one of those annoying managers that like to pry into everyone's life. Like he goes around to each desk and starts asking what are weekend plans are, he keeps a close eye on people. He wants everyone to eat together and be friends. When clearly, some of use don't get along with each other. He starts pressing the issue if we hate our job-well I doubt anyone is going to admit that to a manager! My god. It's starting to get on my nerves. He sees who we sit with. He calls people out if they seem reserved. People have their reasons to be reserved.

 

Not sure how normal it is but probably not uncommon in today's world of corporate social engineering.

[empresario]

I've been at my job for a few years, never had to deal with a nosy supervisor, until last year we got a new supervisor. He's ok, but he's one of those annoying managers that like to pry into everyone's life. Like he goes around to each desk and starts asking what are weekend plans are, he keeps a close eye on people. He wants everyone to eat together and be friends. When clearly, some of use don't get along with each other. He starts pressing the issue if we hate our job-well I doubt anyone is going to admit that to a manager! My god. It's starting to get on my nerves. He sees who we sit with. He calls people out if they seem reserved. People have their reasons to be reserved.

 

As a business owner and as someone that would say they've built a good culture (never had someone quit one of my companies) I feel qualified to comment on this.

 

 

Is it normal? No

 

 

Should it be normal? Yes, within reason.

 

 

I would say I count every one of my employees as a close, personal friend. The only difference is I didn't have to force it. Instead, I hired people that fit our core values and that would work well within the team. We are all so like minded in our desire to make this thing successful that we end up spending a lot of time together outside of work.

 

 

So why is this the case with my company and not yours? It's all in the approach.

 

 

For example, we take our employees out Wednesdays for drinks. We have Tuesday catered lunches for socialization. We do two free trips a year that have nothing to do with business (company retreats). We go out of our way to create a friendly atmosphere. And it's not forced. People choose to take the opportunities we provide.

 

 

And I think that's healthy. I love the people with which I work. They share that same respect. If any one of them needed anything I would do it. Every day I come to work I feel great and traditional workplace stressors do not exist. It comes with challenges of its own, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

 

But...it HAS to be part of the culture from top to bottom. Otherwise it just comes of creepy...

 

 

P.S....

 

 

We open up all communication at our company. Yes, people tell me when they're unhappy because we have a built trust that ensures them I would actually do something about it. Not every company is built on such a fortunate framework.

[preraph]

Got it. All I'm saying is that a inquiry . . . did you have a nice weekend is not the worst management style in the world. It's a casual throw away Q that does not require a detailed answer but does transcend only professional associations. If that is the worse thing a manager does, the person is probably an OK manager assuming the employee is free to answer "fine", not elaborate & not ask about the manager's weekend.

 

I agree with this. It's a casual question and deserves a vague answer, not what you really did. "What did you do this weekend?" "Got some rest. How was yours" -- the end.

 

He may be tasked with trying to lift morale since everyone hates their work. Give the guy a break -- but in case I'm wrong, do NOT share personal info with him or give in to him wanting to get you alone off work.

[pink_sugar]

my boss is like that with everyone. He's really condescending in his emails, but to my face, he is all buddy buddy. I don't work well with that type of managing. Half the time I don't know when he is really mad at me

[darkmoon]

unless you can phone somebody they are not really freinds, if all this is going on solely at work, then he is team-building, and you have no say in all this