Ryan0627 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I've been dating this guy and we've gone on 3 dates thus far but he's been going through a hard time and our relationship has been on a rollercoaster ride recently because of it. He just text me for the first time in 2 weeks last Wednesday despite the fact that I've sent 3 or 4 texts to him within that 2 week hiatus. One of the last texts I sent him, I said I'm more than happy to take things slow if he needs to and that if he doesn't have feelings for me to tell me so I'll leave him alone but I never got a response until last Wednesday. On Wednesday he apologiesed for not texting me sooner and said that his phone broke and he had to wait for a new one to come in the mail. Although I don't completely believe that, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He was hurt pretty bad by his last boyfriend so he maybe nervous about getting into a relationship. In fact, we have known each other for almost 2 months and before we went on our first date he stood me up 3 or 4 times before we went on our first date and he told me the reason why he kept flaking on me is because he was afraid I'd be one of those guys who would tell him that I want a committed relationship but then I would either cut the date short or I'd try to have a one night stand with him. After I assured him that I'm not like those guys, his nerves eased up a lot and we started flirting more and it allowed us to go on those three dates. I know that some ppl on here might be amazed and might be wondering why I've stuck with this guy like I have and why I keep giving him chances. The reason for this is because when we were dating, me and him connected so well that it felt like we were best friends years ago then we lost contact and then regained contact and we were just picking up where we left off. We both told each other things on the first date that not very many ppl know about us. I told him things about me that only two or 3 ppl in my family know about me. I could also tell that he was desperately trying to break his walls down on the first date because he got really bold and asked me if he could kiss me and I of course said yes and we kissed. It was a really romantic and cute moment for us. He was really shy that night so I could tell that was a really big step for him in the process of breaking down the walls. We both have never connectedwith anyone like me and him did and I'm not going to throw that connected feeling we both got away like its nothing just becauee he has insecurities that he's working on. I refuse to give up on him without putting up a good fight. Its very rare(specially for me and him) for ppl to have an amazing cinnection to one another like me and him did so thats why I keep giving him chances and thats why I refuse to give up on him without putting up a good fight. I feel like if he doesn't have feelings for me he wouldn't have text me back let alone apologized and sent me smiley faces after our 2 week hiatus. If he didn't have feelings for me anymore he would've been perfectly fine not texting me or contacting me ever again. I gave him an opportunity to tell me that he doesn't want to date me anymore but he didn't take advantage of that opportunity. I feel like if he didn't like me he would've either continued to ignore me or he would've told me to leave him alone and stop texting him because its pretty annoying when someone you don't like won't stop texting you. I asked him if he wanted to hang out last thursday and he askrd me "what time" and I said after I get off work and he never replied back. Ive sent him a couple more texts since thursday but he hasn't replied to them yet. The texts I've sent him were just me telling him that I hope he has a good day amd good morning. He has been going through a really rough time lately and he's been depressed. It seems like life is hitting him really hard right now and he's overwhelmed and that would explain his lack of posts on his social media profiles. He hasn't posted a new pic of himself on instagram in 6 days and thats not normal for him. He usually posts a new pic at least once every other day but his last pic was posted almost a week ago and the pic before that was posted almost 2 weeks ago. In his pics you can tell he's depressed just by looking at his eyes. I also know he's not playing games because he hasn't been on his dating profile(how we met) in almost a month. Do you guys agree with me that he would've told me to go get lost or just kept ignoring me if he didn't have feelings for me anymore? Also, what should I do about this situation besides give up on him? I know it sounds crazy but giving up on this guy is not an option for me.
La.Primavera Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I understand why you wouldn't want to give up on someone you have a special connection with. It is a good foundation for a relationship. However, equally important is being treated with respect. I'm sorry to say it but this guy is not treating you with respect at all. You have justified his behavior as being due to his own insecurities but the fact is you have done nothing to make him believe you are using him or messing him around so his treatment of you is completely unjustified and disrespectful. Ignoring you for days, weeks even, is not good enough. You have to decide if his breadcrumbs are worth the hurt feelings and rejection you face on a regular basis. It doesn't matter if he likes you or not. He should earn your affection, not just take it whenever he feels like it. It is very selfish. People who treat you that way in the beginning of a relationship seldom change so you need to consider that as well. You deserve the same respect you are showing him. It would be better to look for another guy that you can have a special connection with who treats you with kindness and respect but whatever you decide you need to prioritize your own feelings. Take care.
Author Ryan0627 Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 I know he's been disrespectful towards me but at the same time, knowing him I know he isn't doing it on purpose. How do I know he's not doing it on purpose? Because I've been broken like he is before. I was hurt badly by someone who has more obligation to love me than anyone else. I was hurt by one of my parents so bad that at one point in my teenage life I didn't have literally any friends and if someone tried to befriend me back then I would act the same way this guy is acting towards me. The reason why I refuse to give up on him is because I know I will regret it if I do give up on him and I don't want to have tk live with that regret. I want to be able to say that I gave it all I could before I gave up. We are all damaged goods to some degree and some are more than others so I don't think that I should give up on this guy just because he is insecure even though its put me through a lot of heartache. I see way too much potential in him to give up on him. I have been keeping my eye out for other guys but it seems like the guys that are my age are really immature and thats a big turnoff for me. Another reason why I'm so attracted to this guy is because he is a couple years younger than me but despite that he is way more mature than most of the guys that are my age and even older. He is like me, when I was his age, ppl always used to tell me(and still do) that I'm really mature for my age. This guy is too.
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