brok3npromise Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) I've known this guy for awhile now and have developed feelings for him. He had dropped a hint in the past that he wanted to take things to next level, but it's never gone anywhere. I mentioned to him before about being glad we are friends and since I've said that, he's not really made another attempt to turn this into more. I fear he thinks I've friendzoned him and I'm not sure how to convince him I haven't. Edited July 12, 2015 by brok3npromise
Popsicle Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Flirt really heavily with him, or ask him out and use the word "date".
Author brok3npromise Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 KISS HIM! Really, it's not that hard... Not sure when I would have a good opportunity to kiss him..
Jay779 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Your only choice now is to ask him out. You messed up a bit, but you can recover. The ball is in your court. If you don't do something, it's over 2
yxalitis Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Not sure when I would have a good opportunity to kiss him.. What? I'm guessing you're new to this whole thing... Next time you see him, go up to him and give him a hug, look into his eyes, then close them and lean in, and gently kiss him....he'll soon get the picture. 1
Author brok3npromise Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 Well we work together and have yet to get together outside of work. We have exchanged numbers and expressed hanging out but like I said, I think I gave him the wrong impression.
yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Well we work together and have yet to get together outside of work. We have exchanged numbers and expressed hanging out but like I said, I think I gave him the wrong impression. Ahh, I think I get it. I thought you were dating already... Just because you are the girl, doesn't mean you have to sit back passively. You maybe don't want to ask him out, but you can start to be more flirty. Touch him on the arm when you talk, stand closer to him, talk about that film you want to see, ask if he's got any plans for lunch, say "Oh I forgot to bring my lunch today..." Or, you know, just kiss him, that'll work too. Just don't do it in the middle of the office! 1
Redhead14 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I've known this guy for awhile now and have developed feelings for him. He had dropped a hint in the past that he wanted to take things to next level, but it's never gone anywhere. I mentioned to him before about being glad we are friends and since I've said that, he's not really made another attempt to turn this into more. I fear he thinks I've friendzoned him and I'm not sure how to convince him I haven't. You think he thinks you friendzoned him. You don't know what he thinks. And since he mentioned taking it to the next level but hasn 't done it, you are trying to out think him and pre empt him. Let this unfold naturally. Let him Demonstrate that he reaaly wants to take it to another level. Just because you said you were glad you were friends really doesn't change things. Unless he had actually advanced it and then you said something like that, then i might think how you are thinking. The fact is that until he does advance it, you are friends. Let him come to you and continue to flirt and and show you are interested. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 You gave him the wrong impression. So you'll have to be the aggressor and make it clear that you're sexually attracted to him. But I say have fun with it. Send this text - Would love to slip this on for a date with you handsome. Then attach a pic of you in a hot outfit. Guys are visual and love being physically complimented by women they're attracted to. So it should do the trick quite nicely. Plus, since you're co-workers, text works best to keep it discreet.
feelingtorn Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Give him a gentle neck massage or hold his hands 1
Author brok3npromise Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 You think he thinks you friendzoned him. You don't know what he thinks. And since he mentioned taking it to the next level but hasn 't done it, you are trying to out think him and pre empt him. Let this unfold naturally. Let him Demonstrate that he reaaly wants to take it to another level. Just because you said you were glad you were friends really doesn't change things. Unless he had actually advanced it and then you said something like that, then i might think how you are thinking. The fact is that until he does advance it, you are friends. Let him come to you and continue to flirt and and show you are interested. You may actually be right. I'm probably overthinking the entire thing. I'm just not sure why he hasn't actually asked me out yet. 1
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 You may actually be right. I'm probably overthinking the entire thing. I'm just not sure why he hasn't actually asked me out yet. Because when he said he wanted to take it to the next level, you didn't say something like "I do too" back to him, which would have given him the green light to ask you out. But he took your silence or evasiveness as polite disinterest. Couple that with you telling him later that you're glad that you are friends and he feels that you see him as a good platonic friend. PS - I don't know if you have yet, but if you also have talked about dates with other guys AFTER he told you he was interested, or feelings you still have for other guys, then you have really put the nail in the coffin. You're going to have to show some ROMANTIC interest somehow. Something that's more than what a friend would do, but short of sex (since you don't seem the type to do that). 1
babycakees Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) PS - I don't know if you have yet, but if you also have talked about dates with other guys AFTER he told you he was interested, or feelings you still have for other guys, then you have really put the nail in the coffin. Agree 100% with this. Worst thing OP could do is discuss other guys to this guy. Edited July 13, 2015 by babycakees 2
fitnessfan365 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 You're going to have to show some ROMANTIC interest somehow. Something that's more than what a friend would do, but short of sex (since you don't seem the type to do that). Popsicle's whole post was great, but I wanted to quote the last part for emphasis. I basically said the same thing in my post. So I'll suggest this again: Text - Would love to slip this on for a date w/u handsome. Then attach a pic of you in a great outfit. This will let him know you're sexually attracted and let him take the lead of making the plans.
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Popsicle's whole post was great, but I wanted to quote the last part for emphasis. I basically said the same thing in my post. So I'll suggest this again: Text - Would love to slip this on for a date w/u handsome. Then attach a pic of you in a great outfit. This will let him know you're sexually attracted and let him take the lead of making the plans. Not gonna happen. The fact that you can't tell that she is not that kind of girl is concerning...
Author brok3npromise Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 I definitely have not discussed any other guys with him. I will try to be a little extra flirty. I thought I was being flirty already, but hell some guys can't pick up hints sometimes! lol I just normally do not throw my feelings out towards a guy until I am 110% sure the feelings are mutual.
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I definitely have not discussed any other guys with him. I will try to be a little extra flirty. I thought I was being flirty already, but hell some guys can't pick up hints sometimes! lol I just normally do not throw my feelings out towards a guy until I am 110% sure the feelings are mutual. Just tell him you like him now and would like to go out on a "date" with him and ask him out. Be sure to use that word though, so he won't think you just want to hang out as friends. Remember he put himself out there with you already. You can too.
Redhead14 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 You may actually be right. I'm probably overthinking the entire thing. I'm just not sure why he hasn't actually asked me out yet. Just continue flirtation. And, not knowing why and trying to "force" it will back fire. Just continue doing whatever you've been doing really. That is what drew him to you to start with. Be in receptive mode not active thinking mode.
Lansing Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I don't agree with using the "date" word when aking him out. I don't think there is a need. You can be more flirty when he is out so he knows you are interested. Thing is, he never even asked you to hang out (outside of work) as a friend??
Author brok3npromise Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 I don't agree with using the "date" word when aking him out. I don't think there is a need. You can be more flirty when he is out so he knows you are interested. Thing is, he never even asked you to hang out (outside of work) as a friend?? oh no. He has mentioned some things before but just kind of left them up in the air. It was more of a "would you be interested in doing ______".
fitnessfan365 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Not gonna happen. The fact that you can't tell that she is not that kind of girl is concerning... What type of girl does she have to be to say he's handsome and send a harmless pic of herself in a dress saying that she'd like to wear it on a date with him? I mean it's not like I'm telling her to send anything explicit or sexual. Guys are visual and appreciate a physical compliment from a woman they're attracted to. Lighten up Popsicle.
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 What type of girl does she have to be to say he's handsome and send a harmless pic of herself in a dress saying that she'd like to wear it on a date with him? I mean it's not like I'm telling her to send anything explicit or sexual. Guys are visual and appreciate a physical compliment from a woman they're attracted to. Lighten up Popsicle. She doesn't seem shy to you? I think she needs baby steps.
IronZ Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Repeat after me: "Do you want to go out on a date sometime?" There you go. That simple. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 She doesn't seem shy to you? I think she needs baby steps. The guy thinks he's in the friendzone and nothing has happened. It's going to take more than a baby step to convince him she's attracted IMO.
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