MelanieD Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Hey there, new to this forum but hoping for a different perspective on my situation. A friend of mine had tried online dating and met her bf on there so I thought I'd give it a go. I got talking to this guy 2 weeks ago - similar job role to me, similar goals and ambitions and we have a lot in common. He has called me most evenings for the past few weeks and we get along great. We met for the first time yesterday and the date ended up lasting for about 7 hours! I do like this guy and initially wanted to see him again but the problem is that he seems too keen - I am not sure if I should take this as just that he is a sweet guy, or I'm right to be creeped out by it. He was repeatedly saying during the date how much of a great time he had and how much he liked me, he even bought me gifts which I've never experienced on a first date before (?), he called me after the date to thank me for meeting him and then again, kept texting me that evening about how much he'd enjoyed it and even told me he'd told his friends about me. Today he's been texting again similar sort of messages and saying self critical things like "I don't know what you see in me because I'm nothing" etc. I just feel like I'm going to come home from work one day to this guy waiting outside my door, or sending me his eyelashes or something... I'm not sure if this is a normal reaction, or if it is simply because I'd dated such jerks in the past who only wanted a casual set up. Would appreciate your thoughts
babycakees Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 No. I too would be slightly concerned if I were you. This guy has been on one date and he is coming on a little too strong for my tastes. Maybe other women like this, but I enjoy a little bit of space in the beginning stages of dating. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 This isn't keen, And he isn't a nice guy, as it is too pushy and clingy. Plus, the critical stuff he writes to you is a huge red flag. Move on, Grumps
ScotchBeef Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Yeah, seems a little needy. Maybe he is just naive though; there are plenty of guys out there who give little or no attention, maybe he's just trying too hard to not be one of those. If it feels like too much, probably best to consider if it's really worth going any further. Just let him know what's up, at the least it'll make him consider being less creepy with future partners.
Brigit_1 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 kept texting me that evening about how much he'd enjoyed it and even told me he'd told his friends about me. Today he's been texting again similar sort of messages and saying self critical things like "I don't know what you see in me because I'm nothing" etc. He seemed like a wonderful guy until you mentioned the last part that I quoted. This is a bit over the top and a little scary. Be careful. 1
EEflags Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Nice guy syndrome. He has no idea what he's doing. Unless you are interested in teaching him the very basics of dating and relationships, drop him and drop him fast.
Rewan Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 If I may ask, how old is this man, and how old are you? I've experienced similar happenings before, but usually it was with some sort of age difference. Although, it has happened before with a man that had just gotten out of a relationship about a month prior. I agree with Grumps that it's more of a pushy case than actually being nice. By buying you gifts and making a point to tell his friends about you, he's (in a way- whether consciously or subconsciously) attempting to glue you into his life. However, I would call the self-degradation comments more of a guilt factor in this. I don't personally agree with this at all.. However, it is your choice, and whatever you do, I hope it works out. That's why I recommend- if you really do like him and want to try to see if this can be helped- talking to him and expressing your side of the situation. Try to let him know that while you enjoy his company and his affection (if you do, again) that you would appreciate it if you were able to slow things down a bit to hopefully just enjoy each other's company more. Make it clear, if you do this, that it's not that you don't want to be with him- but that you wouldn't want to go so fast that one or both of you end up getting hurt from the speed. If it were me, though, I would try to let him down easy and walk away.. I hope this helps. :S
brok3npromise Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 This guy is borderline psycho. End it and block his number. 1
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