tanbark813 Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 So I've been seeing this girl for the past several weeks. She doesn't want a serious relationship right now so it's been decided that we're just casually dating. Things are cool for the most part, but she has this habit of telling me whenever guys hit on her. For example: 1. We were out at a bar, she went over to buy a round, and when she came back she told me how the bartender was hitting on her. 2. We were at the horse races, she went to the bathroom while I went to get us beers, and when we met back up, she was telling me how guys were hitting on her while she was walking around. 3. She tells me about how guys hit on her when she's out with her friends without me. Now, I know she's fishing for something, but I don't know what. Jealousy? Compliments? What's her motivation for doing this? I know she's trying to get some sort of reaction, so I purposely give her no reaction and just say "Cool" with a smile. After which she'll reiterate the point a couple more times but I just let it slide. I'm just not sure why she would do this other than to get more attention (she's the type of girl who has a bagillion male friends).
alphamale Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 she's telling u this cause you two are friends. a woman who is romantically interest would not say this shyt.
Illusion24 Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 She's trying to get you jealous...To see how you would defend her as a man. Theirs alot that goes into that. But it all has to do with her trying to get your attention. Trying to see how you react and see if your feelings are true. It's crazy I know...woman are f*cking hard to understand but I gotta admit, you men are too.. But basically it has to do with the fact that she want to get you jealous and see your reaction...How funny it would be if you tell her..."That's cool you should halla..."! She would be like WTF...Oh man good luck with this one. Plus she doesn't want a serious relationship, she's definetly still looking in other places.
whichwayisup Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 She's testing you and seeing your reaction to see how much it bothers you. That way she'll see how much you like her. It's not mean/malcious but she is playing a game. Meaning no harm ofcourse. OR she's letting ya know that she's HOT and all the guys want her, you're not the only one. You're handling it well by being yourself and not really reacting into it. Personally, I think what she is doing is DUMB.
Merin Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Well Homey.. Me thinks she's worried you may not think she's hot *enough* so she's making sure you know that other Guys think she is so you'll be all grateful for having her hot a** around. I think you're handling this well... BUT just because I'm a mean a** like that next time she does this I would say "Wow for real?! Sweet! That just happend to me too.. how cool is that?!"
whichwayisup Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 "Wow for real?! Sweet! That just happend to me too.. how cool is that?!" Yeah I'd like to see the look on her face after that....
melina Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 I don't really agree with any of you guys (sorry :-) I love my boyfriend a lot and also tell him when a guy hits on me. Not to make him jealous, not to test him, not because I have no romantic feelings for him but just because I get on well with him and consider him boyfriend and friend. So, it's just some info. Like "I had a ****ty day at work" or "this guy just wanted to buy me a drink" etc. No manipulation involved. Just part of talking to him. I am aware that I shouldn't be so open about these things but I reckon three years of relationship have shown that he's the only one i Want and that there is no worry in a guy trying to chat me up....
Barby Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 BUT just because I'm a mean a** like that next time she does this I would say "Wow for real?! Sweet! That just happend to me too.. how cool is that?!" Yeap good advice...I agree something like this should be done...
Merin Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by melina I don't really agree with any of you guys (sorry :-) I love my boyfriend a lot and also tell him when a guy hits on me. Not to make him jealous, not to test him, not because I have no romantic feelings for him but just because I get on well with him and consider him boyfriend and friend. So, it's just some info. Like "I had a ****ty day at work" or "this guy just wanted to buy me a drink" etc. No manipulation involved. Just part of talking to him. I am aware that I shouldn't be so open about these things but I reckon three years of relationship have shown that he's the only one i Want and that there is no worry in a guy trying to chat me up.... LOL Well more power to ya sista! Clearly we have not dated the same kind of Guys... I cannot think of one single BF I ever had that wanted that kind of 411 UNLESS I planned on acting on it OR unless the Guy in question got touchy feeling, said something completely out of line,or refused to stop hitting on me after he had been told I wasn't interested... WAIT.. the only Guy I was with that wanted the 411 on that was my EXH and that was because he was hoping for an open relationship deal-e-o and wanted to know if I had found a potential... uh... we're divorced
Author tanbark813 Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 Ok. Well we're more than just friends, we're just not together. This last time, after I just gave her a "cool" in response, she kept it up and asked, "Why would guys do that? Why would they say 'hey baby' to me? I'm just in a sweater!" So I just smiled and said, "Well they probably just wanted to get laid" and left it at that. I'm not sure if that was a good response or not.
Pocky Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 1. We were out at a bar, she went over to buy a round, and when she came back she told me how the bartender was hitting on her. I seem to remember a time when I went out to bars and the bartenders were so busy that they barely had time to ask get my drink. I can't understand how they have time to hit on her in the amount of time it took her to order one round and return to you. 2. We were at the horse races, she went to the bathroom while I went to get us beers, and when we met back up, she was telling me how guys were hitting on her while she was walking around. While she was walking around? I'm guessing she means the general display of the male mating dance - they whistle, they woot, they say generic terms like, "hey baby" and they comment about some part of your body. You can't have a sincere attempt from a guy when all you're doing is walking around. 3. She tells me about how guys hit on her when she's out with her friends without me. Does she ever talk about anything else? Jealousy. Insecurity. Pomposity. Vanity. Pick one - although they all seem distasteful in my opinion.
l2hvn Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 yeah.. i agree with everyone else... she's fishing for compliments AND jealousy.
Illusion24 Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 LOL...Tanbark, you're halarious!! She probably got so pissed..oh man you're in big trouble...lol j/k If she continued to talk about it after the fact then you know for sure it was to make you jealous and to see your reaction. LOL Well more power to ya sista! Clearly we have not dated the same kind of Guys... Like oh my God, Ditto!!!
Merin Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Ok. Well we're more than just friends, we're just not together. This last time, after I just gave her a "cool" in response, she kept it up and asked, "Why would guys do that? Why would they say 'hey baby' to me? I'm just in a sweater!" So I just smiled and said, "Well they probably just wanted to get laid" and left it at that. I'm not sure if that was a good response or not. MG! LOL Tan you've got a big time "Fisher" on your hands doll! She was hoping for "Because yo sh*t is fine Girl!" Again.. "Yeah.. damn don'tcha just hate that? Happens to me allllll the time! I'm in a sweater a turtle neck sweater for Godsake and da ladies are goin nuts! Whats up with that right?!" *Disclaimer~ Do not take any of My advice... it will anger her*
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 I think shes playing the manipulative bitch card and telling you this so you think to yourself "Hey, other people thinks she's hot, So I'll make her mine so I can be the one with the hot girl"
Author tanbark813 Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 Maybe next time I'll just be like, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Whenever I go to karaoke I always get girls asking to lick my nuts after I sing a song. It's like, ladies please, there's only so much time to be had for nut polishing."
Illusion24 Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Maybe next time I'll just be like, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Whenever I go to karaoke I always get girls asking to lick my nuts after I sing a song. It's like, ladies please, there's only so much time to be had for nut polishing." :lmao:
FolderWife Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 My husband likes to hear that junk It turns him on...weird. On the other hand, he does NOT pay enough attention to me *in my opinion* and I want to remind him that HELLO! I am hot, and he'd better appreciate it
EC Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 LMAO Tanbark you are too much. I do this to my bf all the time. But only because he is far away and I like him to know I still got it. ?? lol Or to make him jealous and get a little reaction out of him. I also like him to know that I do still have it and that he better not slip cuz I still look good and can get other guys. Also because I like him to know that other guys find me attractive and so he'll feel good to have me because other guys want me and can't have me. I tell him so that he can remember to appreciate me. And sometimes just to tell him what happened in my day. It feels good when a guy hits on you (sometimes) and I want him to share in my happiness dammit! lol Its a lot of things.
Mz. Pixie Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Tan, I think she probably does want a relationship- or she's trying to see if you do. She's also trying to make you jealous and appreciate what you have. She sound a little vain to me- she's fishing for compliments too. She's probably insecure and looking for reassurance that yes, she is a hottie. I never tell my BF about a random flirt. Now, if some guy asks me out, I have told him and that I said no. It's not about manipulation- but I would want to know if some chick was asking him out. We've both been asked out a couple of times during our relationship and we've both been honest about it.
whichwayisup Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Maybe next time I'll just be like, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Whenever I go to karaoke I always get girls asking to lick my nuts after I sing a song. It's like, ladies please, there's only so much time to be had for nut polishing." You crack me up Tan! Don't forget to rub yer nuts on the doorknobs too eh!
Author tanbark813 Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by EC LMAO Tanbark you are too much. I do this to my bf all the time. But only because he is far away and I like him to know I still got it. ?? lol Or to make him jealous and get a little reaction out of him. I also like him to know that I do still have it and that he better not slip cuz I still look good and can get other guys. Also because I like him to know that other guys find me attractive and so he'll feel good to have me because other guys want me and can't have me. I tell him so that he can remember to appreciate me. And sometimes just to tell him what happened in my day. It feels good when a guy hits on you (sometimes) and I want him to share in my happiness dammit! lol Its a lot of things. Yeah, see, I can understand that. But if we're not together, and she doesn't want a serious relationship, then why turn around and tell me this stuff? But I guess you all have pretty much answered that question.
FolderWife Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 EEESH! She's fishing for compliments! Fisher: "That guy hit on me!" Tanbark: "uh...cool..." Fisher: "Why would he hit on me? I'm only in a sweater? *insert add ins* I must be really really HOT huh!" Tanbark: "Probably wanted to get laid" Fisher: " "
Author tanbark813 Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie I think she probably does want a relationship- or she's trying to see if you do. She's also trying to make you jealous and appreciate what you have. She sound a little vain to me- she's fishing for compliments too. Well I know ALPHA is going to smack me for this one, but she already knows I'd be up for a relationship with her. I think she might be getting a little frustrated that I'm not totally all over her jock though. Originally posted by whichwayisup You crack me up Tan! Don't forget to rub yer nuts on the doorknobs too eh! Like I could forget that.
melina Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 come on guys! You're putting way too much significance into this. There is so many blokes out there who will comment on a chick's parking, or make a lame comment when you're waiting at the bar etc. There is no way a girl tries to make you jealous if she tells you about these incidents. Once she starts telling you about this amazing pianist, who is also about to win the nobel prize and has invited her to romantic dinner, you should start worrying. It is just amusing when guys hit on us and we like to make a comment about it! No way my boyfriend who happens to be quite good looking and a good catch would see a threat in a drunk guy chatting me up in a bar. Let alone think that I would use a chat-up line as a way to make him jealous
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