hauntedsoul Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I have been reading many posts on here talking about NC and second chances. How are we to do the nc with children? I have been reading as well to not be friends. How does that work with having children? I have also read to re-aquaint yourself with friends. Well what if that is exactly what your husband is doing?
15Love Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I don't believe you can go full NC when children are involved. You just have to focus on the kids needs...you have more at stake then just how you're feeling on any given day when you have children. Keep contact to a minimum, only what's abaolutley necessary, elicit friends or family to help minimize interaction...and then come here to vent or gain perspective and strength. I feel for you. That's a tough situation.
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I have been reading many posts on here talking about NC and second chances. No Contact is for you, definitely. Second chances? In your situation? I think you need to lay that demon to rest, forget about it, and re-build your life.... How are we to do the nc with children? If you read the No Contact Guide (NC Guide link in my signature) it talks about 'LC' - Limited Contact. This is the type of contact you cannot avoid for practical reasons: But you absolutely confine all discussion to the pertinent matter. In your case, the children. All other topics are off the table. Anything about you, about him, personal, emotional - not up for discussion. That's what lawyers are for.... But if you need to talk about anything to do with the children - and only that - then that's where Contact has to be maintained. I have been reading as well to not be friends. How does that work with having children? Think of it as talking to the parent of one of your children's friends. Discuss welfare, well-being and child-care, without getting overly personal or verbally intimate. And do not stray off into the marital emotional side of things.... I have also read to re-aquaint yourself with friends. Well what if that is exactly what your husband is doing? That shouldn't stop you doing the same. But make yourself a golden rule: You don't want to talk about your divorce, separation or anything to do with your relationship. If your friends broach the subject, answer their points but do NOT bad-mouth your ex-husband. Be dignified, and adult. This will sort the wheat from the chaff. It will demonstrate to you the friends who really do care about you, and respect your views, dignity and integrity. it will also reveal the 'friends' who take sides and want to know all the juicy gossip and spill the beans to your ex-Husband. In short, you'll find out who your REAL friends, are. Cultivate new friendships, too....
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