unevensteven Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 So it's almost been a month since me and my ex broke up, I put up previous posts about it but here is a brief summary. My ex is my best friends sister, it was all going amazing in our RS of 8 months, we were in so much love, our relationship was so mature, even with it being both our first relationship ever, I am 21 and she is 20, we took our relationship very serious and we never knew anything will ruin it. Either of us were the jealous type, we trusted each other with anything, we even had our future planned out. Our families know each other and so do my other friends family, it all seemed like it was meant to be, we never had one argument, we were so open to everything, we respected each other very much. We go to the same univ, and have alot of mutual friends. I went on a trip for a week with my family...and when I came back she wanted to break up, she said that she "reevaluated her life" and that anything can happen in the future and she doesn't want to depend on our future. I was so confused, it just made no sense at all, she wants me to forget it all ever happened, to not depend on the future with her. My question is, how can she just throw the 8 months we had together away so quickly? Makes me think if she ever even loved me, although we were crazy in love. I was never thinking of this stuff of her, I came to this website and looked at the threads, started NC right away, went to gym, worked, distracted myself, went out with my friends every night and I avoided her so much. With our families knowing each other I knew I will have to see her again, my friends would go to my best friends house and I wouldn't go for a whole month by doing other things, I didn't want to see her. 2 days ago my family was invited to their house, I knew I had to see her eventually. What made it all worst is that her mom called me a day before, asking why I never come over anymore with my friends, although she knows her daughter broke it off with me? She kept telling me that me and her daughter never know what might happen in the future, that if it was meant to be we will have a future together. I threw that all away, I didn't think of having a future with her, I've been telling myself that I want to move on and not hope for a future with a girl that broke my heart, it was all going so well until her mom contacted me. That night I had a dream and my ex was in it, I never had a dream about her since the break up. I just feel kind of backtracked from how great I was doing, beause I saw her yesterday at her house too. I know it will take alot more time to get over her, I really felt alot better over time and was doing great, that phone call really messed with me, now I want to go back to the state of mind that I don't want to have a future with her and just move on with my life like how I was thinking that 2 days ago. If there is any input out there please reply away, I posted other threads on this website if any need refrence of how great I was doing. I have maintained NC and don't plan on breaking it, I took her off all social media, and removed everything that reminded me of her. Thank you for reading my very long post, have a great day/night all.
La.Primavera Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I'm sure her mother had good intentions but it was still wrong of her to do it. Sometimes people underestimate how difficult it is to get over a breakup, especially if you're younger. They might assume it is puppy love and no big deal. The point is you need to do what is best for you and it sounds like no contact is really helping you so keep doing that. If the call from her mother was enough to set you back then you know you are not ready. Don't feel pressured to be in situations with her. You have the right to say no. Personally, I think you are doing the right thing. Breakups can be really tough. Hang in there. 2
aisuru Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Unfortunately relationships sometimes just don't work out. Even to good people. It was not appropriate for her mother to contact you. It's totally okay for you to take a break and not see mutual friends or family members while you take the time to heal. 1
irishguy Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 No contact and avoiding going to her house was working for you before ,i think you should do it again .The truth is you might not be able to go to there house anymore , it might always be a trigger for you , but it will probably get easier when you do meet someone new .If her mother rings you again just dont answer . 1
Holmes85 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 unevensteven, Your Ex-Girlfriend in all likelihood met someone who she took a greater interest in and dumped you. When you went on a trip, she probably took that opportunity to solidify things with her new fling further, that out of nowhere and everything going fine breakups usually have 99.99% involvement of another male. As for her mother, you should respectfully let her know that her daughter broke with you and it is better this way that you take some time for yourself from now on and heal. This might be a tough thing to say to her mother, but trust me in the end, they would respect you a lot more for doing it. As for your Ex-Girlfriend, disappear from her life, give no more updates about you in any form or way to her, she should be in the complete dark about you, you take this time to heal yourself and upgrade yourself with someone who knows what they want instead of this girl whose likely to drag you along for years and might or might not come back to you depending if she finds better than you. In short you are better off than this emotional wreck of a girl. 3
Author unevensteven Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 I'm sure her mother had good intentions but it was still wrong of her to do it. Sometimes people underestimate how difficult it is to get over a breakup, especially if you're younger. They might assume it is puppy love and no big deal. The point is you need to do what is best for you and it sounds like no contact is really helping you so keep doing that. If the call from her mother was enough to set you back then you know you are not ready. Don't feel pressured to be in situations with her. You have the right to say no. Personally, I think you are doing the right thing. Breakups can be really tough. Hang in there. Yeah she had good intention, she just doesn't know how I feel right now, that it was so serious. And I agree that if her call set me back then I'm not ready, I know I'm not ready yet and I plan on avoiding her, even though my ex said she wants to be friends one day, I just don't see that happening.
Author unevensteven Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 Unfortunately relationships sometimes just don't work out. Even to good people. It was not appropriate for her mother to contact you. It's totally okay for you to take a break and not see mutual friends or family members while you take the time to heal. It was ok for her to contact me, she's known me for years, It wasn't ok for her to say me and her daughter might have a future when her daughter said to forget anything has ever happened between us.
Author unevensteven Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 No contact and avoiding going to her house was working for you before ,i think you should do it again .The truth is you might not be able to go to there house anymore , it might always be a trigger for you , but it will probably get easier when you do meet someone new .If her mother rings you again just dont answer . Yup I plan on doing all of that again, been doing better these last couple of days, I will keep avoiding her and be a ghost to her, NC has been an amazing tool.
EgoJoe Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Distance will lead to perspective and perspective will help you heal. You're doing the right thing. Make new friends.
Recommended Posts