CalvinM Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 "Her name, I take holidays August 8th-14th and plan to spend some of that time in Montréal. Could we meet for a drink, or perhaps plan an activity together while I'm there? It would be great to see you again to catch up. x" Comments, criticisms, suggestions?
theredpill Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Not enough info to provide any real direction. Who split with who, do you want her back? If she broke it off with you, all she needs to know is you'll be there, tell one of her friends - if she wants to meet up, she'll make it happen. Don't break no contact unless you can handle every possible scenario and by asking this question on the forum it would suggest (without more background) you're possibly not, and that's okay these things take time. Good luck!
Author CalvinM Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 She broke up with me after almost 6 months. She's the love of my life and I would definitely like to be back with her. I can handle it. I would just like closure at this point, worst case scenario. This should fill you in: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/485912-i-think-we-can-define-together We don't have any mutual friends.
erklat Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Nothing good will come out of this. Best case scenario - she ignores you. Worst case scenario - you get friendzoned . I have seen this scenario far too many times and none of them lead to reconciliations.
Yasuandio Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I just read all your threads on this young lady. Please -- stay no contact. Have your holiday in the city without her knowledge. Contacting a mutual friend about visiting the city is breaking NC. Please don't do it. That particular method is really somewhat manipulative. Have a good time alone -- meet some other girls. This is a good trial run. There is an excellent thread on this section called "If you want them back....." [This thread has gained great popularity]. The poster's back story is very educational - and worth your time to study. You will recognize the patterns in your "yearnings" and "varying viewpoints" immediately - and see how this fellow went seven years in limbo in a mess like this. Please look it up. Hope this helps, Yas
Simon Phoenix Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Bad idea jeans. When you dig up the past, all you get is dirty. It's time to look forward -- you've already wasted too much time cycling back.
ravfour4 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 It doesn't sound like you've hit that neutral spot where you should ideally be before sending a text like that. If you must reach out to her, I'd be more brief. Say something like "I'll be in town for a while and would love to catch up" and see how she responds. If she dodges the question then you shouldn't push it. If she says something like "sure! That'd be great" go for it, but go into it with zero expectations.
Author CalvinM Posted July 16, 2015 Author Posted July 16, 2015 This was her reply "Hey my name, I am glad you are taking holidays, those are always nice. I am not sure if I will be around at that time in August, or busy (I have major and expensive renovations coming up at the condo). I am also not sure if meeting up is a good idea, so I'll keep thinking about it. I didn't want to just ignore your message, and I'm sorry if this is not as enthusiastic of an answer as you'd have liked. Her name"
frigginlost Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 This was her reply "Hey my name, I am glad you are taking holidays, those are always nice. I am not sure if I will be around at that time in August, or busy (I have major and expensive renovations coming up at the condo). I am also not sure if meeting up is a good idea, so I'll keep thinking about it. I didn't want to just ignore your message, and I'm sorry if this is not as enthusiastic of an answer as you'd have liked. Her name" Sorry Calvin... she's being polite to you. Nothing more. She is simply not interested. I know it stings man, but I hope it gives you the needed push to begin again. I feel for ya, man...
JackJackxD Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Haha wow, the same scenario pretty much happened to my friend 2 weeks ago. She dumped her Ex-BF 1 month ago, and recently her Ex asked her to meet up since they would be in the same city for summer. She asked me for advice, and I asked her one question. "Do you want him back as a boyfriend, or want him back as a friend?". She replied telling me that she would never give him another chance, but she doesn't mind being friends with him. I immediately told her not to meet up with her Ex both for her and her Ex's own good. It has only been 1 month since the break up, so the chances are, the guy wants to get back with her. I've been in sticky situation where me and my Ex are "friends" whilst I still had feelings for her, and trust me...you don't even want to be in a situation like that. The same advice probably applies to your case. Sure, there is a very slim chance that she may want you back, but it will most likely end up with you being friend-zoned given that she hasn't contacted you during your 5 months of NC. To me, it sounds like you still want her back. So what will probably happen if you do meet up with her is that, you will both become friends. Then she will catch on that you still have feelings for her, so she withdraws. You will end up making all the effort to contact her, whilst she replies coldly. You may even find out that she is dating another guy. The end of it all, you are the only one who will get hurt. So please, don't reply to her anymore and enjoy your holiday. 1
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