june88 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Please help guys I'm so confused and hurt… My boyfriend of 9 years suddenly said he wanted to go on a break… and then I found out its because he likes another girl. The worst thing is this girl is a close friend of his and I've previously asked him if he would ever like her as she's pretty and they have lots of common intellectual interests, but he claimed no way as he was too similar to him and they were both strong willed and hot headed… I saw her around a few times and it seems to be true, she would always call him out and I know he hates that… He claims he's not sure if anythings going to happen with her because he said they would never work out… he said they're really incompatible and even now they just fight all the time… he says he's okay if I want to move on, but that he still thinks I'm the perfect girl for him… he said he knows that no one will ever be as good to him as I am to him… I just don't understand, if he thinks they're not compatible and wouldn't work out, why go on a break with me?? And if he thinks I'm so perfect and that he won't ever find anyone else like me, why do this to me? I'm really so good to him, I never fight or argue with him and he even said that I always put him first and he loves that. I know it's true he's not together with her because I have common friends with her and she's confided in her friend that he said he's uncertain about the relationship with her and that he's not sure if he wants to be with her and that she has no idea what's going on.. she even said she thinks he will eventually choose to come back to me, because of how good I am to him. I still need to talk to him about work stuff and he's actually become better with his responses since we went on a break… he said he's always here for me and I can call him any time I wanna see him.. I've called him out a few times and he's always come and spends the whole afternoon with me although we don't do anything romantic. I'm really hopeful because he hasn't changed his fb picture of us and has barely told anyone. The other girl said she's upset because he's been lying to common friends and they still think we are together… Please help I don't want to move on from him because I feel like if I do he will just date her because he's got nothing else to loose, and then he might never come back.
Gus Grimly Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Please help I don't want to move on from him because I feel like if I do he will just date her because he's got nothing else to loose, and then he might never come back. You know that you are just the "back up plan" if it doesn't work out with this other girl, right? He's string you along, cause hey, what's the poor guy gonna do if this other girl ends up being no good? At least he's given you permission to move on, that's so kind of him. And do you even know what "Taking a Break" means? Well, just a FYI, it doesn't mean your bf is allowed to go off sleeping with other women. Where's your self respect? Kick this guy to the curb ASAP. He doesn't deserve you.
Author june88 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) You know that you are just the "back up plan" if it doesn't work out with this other girl, right? He's string you along, cause hey, what's the poor guy gonna do if this other girl ends up being no good? At least he's given you permission to move on, that's so kind of him. And do you even know what "Taking a Break" means? Well, just a FYI, it doesn't mean your bf is allowed to go off sleeping with other women. Where's your self respect? Kick this guy to the curb ASAP. He doesn't deserve you. Thanks for that but if that were true why doesn't he just date her? He's not with her even though he could be right now. Also why wouldn't he tell people he's single? I'm not sure if it's a break or a break up.. he just told me how he felt and that he wasn't sure about me and getting married to me soon (since we've been together so long it's coming up and everyone expects it). He asked me what I wanted to do, so of course I said I can't be with him right now if he's feeling that way. I told him I want him to work out what he's feeling and maybe we can talk about it at some later date if he becomes more clear headed. Edited July 12, 2015 by june88
Gus Grimly Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 he just told me how he felt and that he wasn't sure about me and getting married to me soon (since we've been together so long it's coming up and everyone expects it). Sounds like The ‘Grass Is Greener’ Syndrome to me. Or he's bored with you and wants an 'Open Relationship' to spice things up, where the two of you are still dating but see other people on the side. Honestly, this guy doesn't respect you, at all. If he did would never try to find an emotional/physical connection with someone else. He wouldn't dare take a chance losing you. He wants his cake and eat it too. You like being treated like crap? You need to let him know where you stand.
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