TheBathWater Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) Maybe it's coincidence, but over the last month or so I think I've been out with a handful of women who either think I'm too smooth or they don't seem attracted enough because I scale back my sexual masculinity and instead talk about 'nice' things (work, interests, family, etc...). I believe I am being authentic with these women and am not really doing anything different than usual. It's not like I'm being super nice or dirty either. I think I'm generally funny, light in manner, engaging, curious, and edgy. I'm also an attractive, successful, and educated guy. Basically, I've got my **** together. I consistently date lots of attractive women, though nothing really long-term in a while. I'm in my early thirties and am wondering if perhaps the women in this age range get more jaded and difficult to have fun with, and that is some of what's going on here. I don't know. Just seems like all the women I encounter lately are blase about romance, have no spirit or excitement about them, have no imagination, little feminine grace, and are suspicious of every gesture a man makes. Dates are starting to feel like having a drink with a colleague who is exhausted and hates their job or something. What the hell gives? Have any of you other guys experienced this? How do you handle it? This has never been a recurring issue for me until recently. I really don't want to change who I am, but at the same time, I don't want to shoot myself in the foot if it continues to be an issue. Edited July 12, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Women in their 30s don't care for game. Genuine/honest guys are much more attractive. Women in their 20s (especially in early 20s) are more likely to go for the guys that have "good game" and less likely to see beyond the superficial.
yxalitis Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Honesty..100% Game...0% It's that simple...honestly! 2
yxalitis Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Women in their 30s don't care for game. Genuine/honest guys are much more attractive. Women in their 20s (especially in early 20s) are more likely to go for the guys that have "good game" and less likely to see beyond the superficial. I don't think it's as basic or black and white as that.. Some people are superficial...some are easily tricked or manipulated, regardless of age. But if OP wants the next partnership, LTR...he better just be himself and let the chips fall where they may.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I don't think it's as basic or black and white as that.. Some people are superficial...some are easily tricked or manipulated, regardless of age. But if OP wants the next partnership, LTR...he better just be himself and let the chips fall where they may. No, it's not 100% but younger women generally have less life experience are more easily manipulated.
LoveRefreshed Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I'm completely unsure how to answer this question. I think if you're doing it right, they don't have to be exclusive of each other. Why do you need to lie?
loveweary11 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) Be a person women want. Then, honesty is game. I think a lot of people are just burnt out on the dating game. Juyst like you said... like someone who hates their job. Edited July 12, 2015 by loveweary11
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 No games. However, if you substitute the word "confidence" for game confidence is not incompatible with honestly.' There is a fine line. You can be flirty, suggestive & sexual without crossing into complete bore or suppressing all of that & coming across as a eunuch. It's OK for a man to act like a man. It's not OK for a man to act like a sex-starved pig.
ZA Dater Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Maybe it's coincidence, but over the last month or so I think I've been out with a handful of women who either think I'm too smooth or they don't seem attracted enough because I scale back my sexual masculinity and instead talk about 'nice' things (work, interests, family, etc...). I believe I am being authentic with these women and am not really doing anything different than usual. It's not like I'm being super nice or dirty either. I think I'm generally funny, light in manner, engaging, curious, and edgy. I'm also an attractive, successful, and educated guy. Basically, I've got my **** together. I consistently date lots of attractive women, though nothing really long-term in a while. I'm in my early thirties and am wondering if perhaps the women in this age range get more jaded and difficult to have fun with, and that is some of what's going on here. I don't know. Just seems like all the women I encounter lately are blase about romance, have no spirit or excitement about them, have no imagination, little feminine grace, and are suspicious of every gesture a man makes. Dates are starting to feel like having a drink with a colleague who is exhausted and hates their job or something. What the hell gives? Have any of you other guys experienced this? How do you handle it? This has never been a recurring issue for me until recently. I really don't want to change who I am, but at the same time, I don't want to shoot myself in the foot if it continues to be an issue. The bold part I think is where the issue is, based on my OLD experience with 30's females a lot who resort to OLD are extremely jaded after years and years of being messed around and used by guys.
xcupid Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Sounds like you're attracting the wrong women. Having said that, women who have had bad experiences with men tend to be suspicious of genuinely nice/good men. They think they're too good to be true so they look for faults/flaws to validate what they think. Stay authentic and the real you - that will attract the woman you're looking for.
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Why are you only hanging out with bitter jaded/battered 30 somethings? There's plenty of women of all age groups, not in the gutter of failed relationships or romantic flings. Women in their 20's in general tend to have more of that youthful flair and energy about them, I think in your 30's life just generally becomes a bit more monotonous and routine, by now you've kind of experienced already a lot of things for the first time..maybe even the tenth time around, the same ***** gets old after a while, and you might have a lot more responsibility weighing you down. I don't understand how you're either too smooth, or they just don't seem attracted enough...but whatever the case is, if these women aren't interested in you or you don't know and you are interested in them, then either make that known or just look somewhere else for a love-interest. But you can't expect women in their 30's to be as enthusiastic and vulnerable to the same manipulation and tricks that guys win them over with in their 20's, you've got evolve and just work on being more genuine and direct...if they're sniffing out your strategy/tactics and aren't really falling head-over-heels for the same tricks coming from another guys mouth; and if they do detect that, then you're probably being really typical to them. Women in their 20's can be really naive and blinded by their own lack of experience and gullible attitude towards life, believing everything a guy says is honest and genuine or just hoping for the best in every scenario and thinking the best of people, and just becoming enamored and enthralled in the fogginess and mystery that even older women fall for as well...but not even every 20 something will be won over in that way, so you either do need to become more attentive of what clues women are dropping you or aware of yourself in a more objective way, maybe even ask women their point of view or maybe you're just having a streak of insecurity since these women aren't chasing after you so easily lately and seem to be distracted with other things in their lives. At any rate..change your environment and broaden your social circle/connections.
elaine567 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Could it be that some of those women are in fact mirroring you? YOU do sound a bit "jaded and difficult to have fun with", maybe your lack of success recently is affecting your outlook on life and they are just picking up on it. If you are showing that you think "they are blasé about romance, have no spirit or excitement about them, have no imagination, little feminine grace, and are suspicious of every gesture a man makes." then why would they make the effort for you? Women tend to be very attuned to emotion, if your vibe is down beat, then I guess it is difficult for any women to be enthused around you. Most times we reap what we sow. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I think some guys develop a singular mindset. Take the OP for example. With some women he focuses on sexual attraction, and with other women he focuses on emotional attraction. But why does it have to be one or the other? Be that emotionally available genuine guy that actually cares who she is, while also being confident, playful, and sexually dominant. Recently, the woman I'm seeing gave me a hell of a compliment. She says I'm the first guy in forever that genuinely gets her that she's comfortable enough to be herself with, that also makes her want to act like a porn star in bed. So I think the key to success is being able to combine both aspects into your personality.
ZA Dater Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Could it be that some of those women are in fact mirroring you? YOU do sound a bit "jaded and difficult to have fun with", maybe your lack of success recently is affecting your outlook on life and they are just picking up on it. If you are showing that you think "they are blasé about romance, have no spirit or excitement about them, have no imagination, little feminine grace, and are suspicious of every gesture a man makes." then why would they make the effort for you? Women tend to be very attuned to emotion, if your vibe is down beat, then I guess it is difficult for any women to be enthused around you. Most times we reap what we sow. This post makes a lot of sense to me, unfortunately.
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