loveflower Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Just wondering.... maybe they are too pride of themselves? thus more at stake with failure?
casey.lives Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 my belief is that quality man DO pursue. aggression is a masculine trait and a sign of decisiveness(good leadership), not to mention bravery. so.... 4
salparadise Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Quality men just don't need to put up with bull$hit. They know how to do the dance and expect a woman show some interest and reciprocate. They will put themselves out there, but aren't inclined to wast much time on someone that shows no interest. 6
Author loveflower Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 um...maybe they are kindda interested but not that interested? so they gave a little hint of interest, but when they did not perceive reciprocity clearly... maybe that explains the not pursuing?
Gloria25 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 "Quality" men? Are you sure you wanted to use the world "quality"? Cuz, I'm not sure how/what your question is, but am sure the word "quality" isn't what you're needing to try to describe the type of men you are alluding to. 1
ltjg45 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Quality men just don't need to put up with bull$hit. They know how to do the dance and expect a woman show some interest and reciprocate. They will put themselves out there, but aren't inclined to wast much time on someone that shows no interest. That is how I feel about the dating dance. Sure, I will show my interest and may even ask a woman out again after being rejected before but if I can't see any interest or effort from her, I simply move on to the next woman. Now, whether or not I am considered a quality man is up for debate.....I doubt quality men would have difficulty finding dates and is spending time on LS. At least.....I hope not, anyway. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Yeah, I tend to agree with Gloria. What's your definition of a quality man, OP? I don't know many guys who would describe themselves as non-quality men, TBH. Not that I'm arguing the point, just my definition might not fit yours and vice versa.
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Anybody with self respect does not chase after another person panting like a starving dog chasing the ice cream truck. If interested an emotionally mature person may ask another person out but they don't prostrate themselves, or turn into a cling-on, especially if the object of their affections isn't interested or is "playing" hard to get games. What, specifically, is going on in your situation? That rather than a general Q should help us analyze the situation for you. 3
candie13 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 um...maybe they are kindda interested but not that interested? so they gave a little hint of interest, but when they did not perceive reciprocity clearly... maybe that explains the not pursuing? me thinks you are mistaking pursuing with chasing. A man who is interested in a woman will pursue her, if he picks up the signs that she is also interested. Now, there is a difference between chasing and pursuing. If she gives mixed signals and she expects this "quality" guy to keep following her no matter what... that may not happen. It's a matter not just of self respect but also maturity, to give the pursued person the time to decide for themselves in which direction they wish to go - if to leave or to stay. the moment dating turns into a "game", yeah a man - and a woman - with any self respect would step out. Dating is supposed to be easy, to come naturally . 3
Author loveflower Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 "Quality" men? single, good looking, accomplished, no bad habits, nice character...
carhill Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 If by 'quality' one is deemed to be of quality if popular with women and attractive to them, then IMO it varies. In my generation, generally, men still pursue women regardless of their social status and attractiveness. They pursue the women they want. Do women pursue them? Sure, sometimes. It goes along with being attractive. The milieu varies with the man's personal psychology and the social environment he exists in. Some sit back and choose; others are more proactive. One aspect of my generation of males which probably has changed in the younger ones is that we're less likely to take no for an answer. We're persistent. Hence that's why sexual harassment laws came into being when I was young when women started becoming more commonly employed in male environments. Yes, 'quality' men, if presented with a woman who initially declined their attentions, might not give up so easily. Times have changed, as have social mores and customs. By 'pursue', I mean interact with and ask out on a date, yep sometimes repeatedly.
Author loveflower Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 Anybody with self respect does not chase after another person panting like a starving dog chasing the ice cream truck. If interested an emotionally mature person may ask another person out but they don't prostrate themselves, or turn into a cling-on, especially if the object of their affections isn't interested or is "playing" hard to get games. What, specifically, is going on in your situation? That rather than a general Q should help us analyze the situation for you. I don't know if I even have a situation...so I just ask a general Q. Thank you for helping me to understand...really appreciate it.
preraph Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Quality men will be more discriminating and not just sleep with every woman who gives them the nod. They will definitely make the move if they meet someone who truly interests them. Really quality men have already had all the opportunity to just sleep around and are pretty much bored with that by a certain age and also leery of women who seem too keen because they have likely had problems with those in the past if they're that desirable. 3
elaine567 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 "Quality" men will pursue anyone who they want to be with, just like any other man. If a particularly attractive/interesting woman crosses his radar, he is going to pursue IF he wants her, but I guess he is not going to get overexcited about some average woman, especially if as a hot guy, he has other options vying for his attention 1
No Limit Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 They do pursue women - but not just any woman that offers herself and clings to him like a leech. 2
spiderowl Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 It's an interesting question. In online dating, I have found that men who have achieved a lot in life seem to lay it all out in their profile and then expect to be chased. Maybe that's why they achieve a lot - to reduce the amount of pursuing they have to do! I think a quality man (different from someone who simply achieves materially) would go for what mattered to him. He'd realise that some things require a little more effort. If a guy is not willing to put in any effort, what would life with him be like? There has to be give and take and if it's not there from the start, then don't waste time pursuing someone who has opted out. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I don't know if you want to call it "quality" as you don't know these men personally..however if they have options it might be one of the same thing in which you are referring to. Men with options/quality, tend to be a lot more picky about whom they invest their quality time with and tend not to have to be on the prowl or chasing after women so much, due to the steady laws of attraction working in their favor to an extent. If he's got everything going in his favor, and he is aware/understands/knows the attraction or impact he has on the opposite sex, then no he doesn't really need to chase unless it's really worth his time and effort. A guy who is desperate, will make a lot of wild attempts and take blind shots at women...nearly any woman, it doesn't mean a "quality" guy wouldn't do the exact same thing depending on his options, if he has no options then he has to put in the effort needed just like any other guy and this could even be for a woman below his standards/expectations. It also doesn't mean a quality guy doesn't hang out with low-quality women, they still have vagina's after all but he might not enjoy them all that much, to be fair. Pride/self-worth will to an extent limit a man on what he's willing to do...how much he's willing to lie down for a woman and relentlessly pursue, regardless of the circumstances. And some guys whether quality or not just refuse to lay down and be that guy that shamelessly pursues a woman and faces repeated or possible rejection. Those kind of guys will almost never pursue a woman. I think a quality guy is trying to figure out how to meet a truly "quality" woman, because there's a lot of women dressed up like one or disguised as something they are not.."stable", but instead harboring a lot of issues in a dark past of baggage. But keep in mind, there is no perfect guy...if he looks/seems like this awesome quality guy who just happens to be single and can't find the "special" one...there's more to it than meets the eye and what you think based on the little you know about him. A man with options and knows his own "value", is aware he doesn't have to settle for just anyone...this can give him the confidence to pursue much more attractive targets to himself and that may be the only time he brings out the tiger to pursue her, she might REALLY have to be something "special"...however for the rest of women, he might just let them pursue him, picking and choosing like grapes from a bundle which ones to spend time and what to fill the gaps of time inbetween with...after all, he can't always be with that super awesome special girl, just probably hasn't found her anyway...right? Regardless, good analysis nonetheless, I'm sure this is an interesting hypothesis to many people. 2
Male Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I will show my interest and may even ask a woman out again after being rejected before but if I can't see any interest or effort from her, I simply move on to the next woman. Thats exactly how I feel. But there seems to be a bit of tug-o-war as far as where the line is drawn in the sand on this debate. If you have a woman that expects to be pursued vs a guy that expects some interest/effort from her, they will typically butt heads. But it seems that when a guy doesnt pursue enough, he gets labeled as weak, and having no confidence from the general population of women. From my point of view it seems to be "the norm" that as a guy you have to put up with a certain amount of bs/beating around the bush nowadays to get a date. But from the womans point of view, its not seen as bs, they typically see it as you "proving" that you are really interested. Which doesnt make a damn bit of sense to me, because most guys that use women put a hell of a lot of effort into getting them in bed. So I dont see how all this dancing around separates the quality guys from the players. I think women like to be pursued more so because it feeds their ego and insecurities. They like to feel wanted, and want to make that feeling last as long as possible. Its also a way of feeling in control, or subconsciously having power over the guy. I would think that you probably do see more "quality" men not pursuing as much as less quality men do. A better man just like a better woman usually fills their days with many other things going on in their life than chasing the opposite sex. Obviously guys that need to add a new notch on their bedpost let such behaviors control them and take up more of their time the same as an addictive behavior or drug addiction would. 3
Author loveflower Posted July 16, 2015 Author Posted July 16, 2015 (edited) I don't know if you want to call it "quality" as you don't know these men personally..however if they have options it might be one of the same thing in which you are referring to.. Actually, I do 'know' a few 'quality' men...I am wondering if they like me, but none of them really actively trying to approach... So I am wondering if it's because I don't show interest or they are not really interest... 3 I 'know' for years, and they are still single. but I am not communicating with any of them. I 'hate' them...they did things that made me wonder, but never clearly show their interest. it makes me so miserable... Edited July 16, 2015 by loveflower
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