Ebannaw Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 (edited) I fell in love with a 21 year old when I was 24. She was the brightest source of hope I ever had in my life, especially since being in the Army for five years. We moved in together, we loved, every day. When we first met, I was an agnostic atheist. A year or so in, I started believing in the way of Christ. I wasn't overtly religious or anything, I just started digging on ancient wisdom from Christ and others like Socrates, and liked to try and discuss these things with her. She started becoming more distant as time went on, I think, because of this change I went through and well, she just got bored of routine when we weren't out on hikes or trips to the mountains/lake. She also missed her family, and being back home, which I could understand. I offered to move out there and live there for a while, and get us a place, but she didn't seem to want that. Then she cheated on me with at least three other men from her job a couple months ago. She stopped coming home from work on time, which was usually one or two hours after she got off shift. She liked to hang out and smoke pot with her co-workers, which I was fine with, we both smoke. She would instead not be home until after 4 AM now. I asked her why, and she would come up with lame excuses. I hacked her email and found out all the gritty details. I tell you, in my 27 years of life, I've known no greater pain than her betrayal and lies. Every lie and deception I uncovered from her was like being stabbed in the gut with the most razor sharp dagger imaginable. Every awful action she did was like my soul being torn from the bond of love I felt with her. She told me she wanted to be with me the rest of her life. She told me she wanted to marry me. She left me this year. She is 23 now. She became someone I didn't know, as if some demon possessed her and turned her into this woman of lies and wickedness, and killed the woman I loved, making her devoid of the light I felt from her everyday. I responded rashly and crazily I suppose you could say. I said very mean things to her, constantly called her "slut". I harassed her and the men she slept with, they even threatened me. I didn't care, I was kind of hoping they'd come and kill me or something, being in the Army kind of helps to drain out some fear, especially from such insolent types. I was so sad, and angry, and lonely. I couldn't accept that she was able to move on so easily from what we had, which was the truest thing I ever thought I felt, the happiest moments I ever had were with her. It was unreal. I found out on April 22nd that she had been lying to me at least since September, though she claimed she didn't cheat on me until April. But I found out last September she slept and kissed an ex-boyfriend, though, according to both of them, they didn't have sex. I don't believe either of them. I don't want to make it seem like I was a "knight in shining armor" for her or something, and that I was perfect. No one is perfect, and no relationship is. But I assure you: I loved her and cared for her, and wanted to do great things with her. She got angry and upset that I found out, and she started demanding all the money that she put into my account. I was so sad. How could our love, which was so unworldly in my mind, and never about materialistic possessions or money, suddenly become about such damnable things? How could she give her body, the temple, over to men who loved her not, nor cared for her anything like the way I did? She would always say "You're too good for me", "I don't deserve someone like you". Why did she have to prove it? Oh God, the pain of it all. Damned if I don't still love her, but she hurt me beyond all words. This girl was my love, so I thought. I haven't talked to her in over two weeks now, but she still clouds my thoughts. I just don't get it. I could never do such a thing to another person, I could never cause such suffering, or even lie to her, especially on this magnitude. I know I need to move on. I know it's not the end of the world or my life, but what I had was so real to me, and so true in my mind, to find out this in such a manner, hurts beyond words. Another thing as well, she gave me HPV and hsv1/2. So please, don't suggest dumb **** like " go bang a bunch of girls". That is already a dumb suggestion, but even dumber now that I carry those viruses. It also makes it more unlikely I will find a suitable mate. Oh well. Tldr: Lover cheated on me with at least four guys and left me alone with HPV and HSV. Life goes on until it doesn't. Yay, hooray for me. Edited July 12, 2015 by Ebannaw
casey.lives Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 what i have come to admit to myself about being cheated on, is that, my relationship was really bad. cheating was just part of how terrible it was. i overstayed
elaine567 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 She is 21. She fell out of love and instead of telling you and splitting up with you, she chose to to make rash decisions* and cheated on you instead. *The Teen Brain: It's Just Not Grown Up Yet : NPR - Recent studies show that neural insulation isn't complete until the mid-20s.
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