Mondmellonw Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 How would you feel if the new partner of your ex is prettier/more good loking than you? Tbh, I felt like crap. I was just walking down the street to go buy something to the store and I saw him holding hands with a girl who, to me and to the person who was with me, is more attractive than me. I didn't knew anything about him so seeing that was a shock. Needless to say, I am at home crying. I know it sounds stupid... But my experience with boys is: They always chase after uglier girls because they don't think they can get the prettier/hotter ones. And when they realize they can have them, they just dump you and forget about you completely. This is, at least, what has happened to me in 3 of 4 relationships so far. I don't feel like having a boyfriend ever again.
ravfour4 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 3 things 1) what kind of terrible person were you with that said "yep, she's prettier than you, you're right" - get rid of them 2) I'm sorry you had to see that, I'm sure it hurt. 3) the problem is your lack of self confidence, you think men keep leaving you for better women. It's because you think they're better than you that men keep going to them. You need to be confident in who you are and know that you're the best. That's where the majority of your mental energy should be spent. 3
Author Mondmellonw Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 3 things 1) what kind of terrible person were you with that said "yep, she's prettier than you, you're right" - get rid of them 2) I'm sorry you had to see that, I'm sure it hurt. 3) the problem is your lack of self confidence, you think men keep leaving you for better women. It's because you think they're better than you that men keep going to them. You need to be confident in who you are and know that you're the best. That's where the majority of your mental energy should be spent. The person who was with me was actually my mother. I am not confident in myself anymore, but I used to be. At least, I have always seen myself as avery intelligent an interesting person, just not a beautiful girl when it comes to looks. I don't feel like I´m pretty at all.
mightycpa Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 In another thread, I related how I was once replaced by a guy who looked like Santa Claus. I was dumbfounded by that. I think if I was going to be replaced, I would want that person to be super-hot. At least I'd get it that way, and I'd understand my ex was superficial. 3
ravfour4 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 It sounds like you've had 4 enjoyable relationships, people obviously find you pretty and if your mom is saying your not, that's probably a huge part of why you're so self conscious. Who cares if she's your mom, you don't need that negativity in your life, if she says that to you again you should call her a bitch lol
minimariah Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I think if I was going to be replaced, I would want that person to be super-hot. same! if it really has to happen... i would rather be dumped for an "upgrade", LOL. at least that makes sense.
casey.lives Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 it sucks that he's around you still.... he sounds insensitive and like a ****ty dude for not taking himself off your map
ravfour4 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Whaaat? It sounds like they just saw each other in passing, it's not like he's supposed to hide away from his ex forever. The only terrible person in this situation is her mother for saying the new girl was prettier and the OP for not thinking she's attractive 1
mightycpa Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 So Mondmellonw, on a scale of 1 to 10, where do you rate yourself? I mean, are we talking about a 9 who wants to be a 10, or a 4 who has to tie a porkchop around her neck? It think it makes a difference in terms of self-pity vs. an actual problem and how you might deal with it. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 Yeah, it's not like he is harassing me or anything (he did it for a few days, by cellphone) but right now it was just random and he has a right to live his life. I just felt hurt because that has always been a vulnerability/insecurity to me. People at home (my brother mainly) often cheers me up and says how beautiful I am, but I don't believe him since he is my brother. Other than that... Well.. I feel "meh". Not particularly attractive, but I have nice eyes. lol
bubbaganoosh Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Friend. I'm pushing 68 years old and I got to tell you that there's a old saying that goes like this. "Beauty's only skin deep" Trust me, I remember dumping a girl when I was 22 for another girl who would be considered eye candy to most guys. Oh man I was the envy of my friends but little by little there's a price to be had when looks is all they have and they rely on it to get what they want. In other word she became high maintenance to a point where I couldn't stand her any more. I got dumped and was no upset about it. Six months later I ran into the girl I dumped and I looked at her and for the life of me I couldn't understand why I let her go. She wasn't a movie star and never tried to be. She was down to earth, fun, caring and never required to be bought. I asked if she wanted to have lunch and she very politely turned me down and told me she was seeing another guy and it wouldn't be fair to him. I lost. Married twice and blew the chance for a better life. For some reason you remind me of her. The right guy will come along and you'll know it.....................and so will he. Hang in there kid, your turn is coming. 3
mightycpa Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 What has always struck me is how people who are very attractive early in life, seem to lose it.... it's like every dog has his day. Those people who we might not consider particularly attractive early on have a funny way of ending up on the top of the heap as life progresses. What's most important is to know who you are, and to be that. Someone will value that immensely, and probably more than just one person. In this respect, you're no different than anybody else. You want who you want, and far too often, they don't want you back in the same way, and you've got to live with that two or three times before it sticks. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 Thank you.... I hope so... However, I really do want to feel better about myself...
theredpill Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I don't consider myself to be very good looking at all, rough an ready from certain angles, my nose is way too big and crooked, despise any profile photos but it's never stopped me punching above my weight and nor should it stop you young lady Men are shallow (I have been myself) it's rare however to get the full package with really beautiful women and we know that, keep looking and you will meet someone who treats you much better than your ex's. 1
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Literally every woman my ex has talked to since our breakup has been unfortunate looking. Instead of making me feel good, it makes me doubt my own looks. But either way, it does hurt. I can understand being blindsided by that, especially if it was the first time you saw your ex with someone else since the breakup. Just try not to think about it (I know, easier said than done). I'm currently holing myself up in my house for a few weekends so I don't have to see him. But when you can't avoid it, just try to keep your head up. I'm sorry that happened. It hits you like a kick to the gut and is devastating.
joseb Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 How would I feel if the new partner of your ex is prettier/more good looking than you? It would not bother me in the slightest. She is an ex. Not part of my life. If I had to pick, I'd say I'd prefer him to be better looking. I would not take it as any reflection on me. And I don't think you should.
jay1983 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 How would you feel if the new partner of your ex is prettier/more good loking than you? Tbh, I felt like crap. I was just walking down the street to go buy something to the store and I saw him holding hands with a girl who, to me and to the person who was with me, is more attractive than me. I didn't knew anything about him so seeing that was a shock. Needless to say, I am at home crying. I know it sounds stupid... But my experience with boys is: They always chase after uglier girls because they don't think they can get the prettier/hotter ones. And when they realize they can have them, they just dump you and forget about you completely. This is, at least, what has happened to me in 3 of 4 relationships so far. I don't feel like having a boyfriend ever again. Boys huh?
Happines Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I broke up with my ex over a month ago cuz honestly he was not treating me right at all...now even know he was saying to me how much he loved me he moved on within first week (and still continued telling me how much he loved me) Yes I was heart broken about all the break up and thinking oh my god is she prettier then me is she better then me and etc that he is not putting the effort to fix his issues for us to b together... Anyways what I am trying to say that this is all in your head due to low self esteam...now clearly my family thinks I am super smart and pretty but it's a family so I me we believe them...However all of my friends and people who I don't know much think I am really pretty smart and super kind because I always go out of my way to help others and care about everyone... Now what do u think I think about myself...that well I am not ugly but I mean was not fortunate look vice...that I am sort of useless and that's why every boy I dated ended up using me...I feel this way partially due to the relationships I had where my exes tried to break my confident but I have this issue since childhood where my mum did not like me much and always preferred my sisters...that affected me a lot and I never felt like I am worth of love that I am not worth of someone treating me right...that's why I always put up with so much **** in my relationships because I thought I sort of deserved it all... I am going to therapist tomorrow which is my first time and I want to work on myself so maybe try doing the same and fixing your head and heart and honestly forgot about ur ex because he really does not matter anymore and u will meet someone nice
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