An open letter to lads in dire straits

July 11, 2015

It's really unfortunate that a lot of guys around here just simply can't get a date for the life of them or that they can't muster up the courage to tell girls how they really feel. In the end, they feel defeated and they feel as if they are defective. It's certainly a legitimate feeling. I've read somewhere that most men never even got the chance to mate in the past. They either died celibates or were killed off by opposing tribes or animals before they even got the chance. Most of our ancestors are women.

But we're in the modern era now. We play under new rules. New circumstances. I've seen the most vile people (personality and physically) have partners, even many partners. I just have one thing to say:

GO OUT. Go out. Get out there. Don't make theories until you go out. Don't make opinions until you go out. Don't cry on the message boards until you go out.

In the past three weeks, I have gone out every. single. night. I've gone out either with friends or solo. I started cold approaching or contextually approaching girls. I approached massive amounts of girls and in the process I've seen trends, patterns, similarities. I've tested out what works and what doesn't. Which places are dead, which places are on fire. My game is starting to get better and better. So far, I've made out with over 10 girls, got the numbers of at least 20, and have gotten blowjobs from seven, had sex with three. I now have regular sex with two of those girls. At least half of those girls were from daytime cold approaches.

One thing that really helped me was knowing that I will never be "complete" and that I'm already enough. I will never reach a point where I can say "I am 220, 6% body fat, have my wardrobe on lock, have read every single book in existence, am well versed in numerous fields, have traveled to every country, competed in the Olympics, and know 10 different languages" level.

You know what's holding you back? Fear. You're chicken****. I know. I was too. Then I said "you know, one day I will be dead and everyone I know will be dead and we'll forget this ever happened." Then I changed my mindset. It was scary as hell at first but then I got used to it. This is the way it's supposed to be. I changed my friends. Linked up with some guys who are super good with women. I'm going out again tonight. And guess what? I'll approach and approach some more.

When you go out, your perspective widens. You start to see girls and sexual dynamics in a whole new light. I've been opened by girls before. So that shattered the fact that girls do not approach guys.

Whatever you do guys, just get out there. You won't die if you get rejected. Yes, you'll look like a fool but that's not a knock on you. Even if you're overweight, even if you're broke, even if you're a loser... You still need to work on your game. You can't wait for life to hand you the chips...because it never will. You'll just walk away from the table with nothing to show for it because you were afraid to play the game in the first place. I've gotten burned, I've had nights were I just wanted to say **** it and go home. But I decided that I'll stay. That was one of the nights I got a girl's number, called her up the next day, we watched a movie and then one thing led to another.

Excuses are lame. You can make excuses all you want but you know what my friends and I do to guys who make excuses? We'll take your girl, laugh in your face and tool you. You won't do anything about it because you lack the drive, willpower, and the balls to take your face out of the dirt and stop feeling sorry for yourself. And none of us are particularly good looking, we just know that we're there to have fun and we expect nothing out of it.

I was a virgin at 25 years old with no dating experience whatsoever. If I can do it, you can too. I used to make excuse after excuse after excuse until one day I realized that no dating advice could help me. I would never be enough and that one day I will be old and feeble.

You could die tomorrow. Would you say that you took every chance you had to change your life?

Edited July 11, 2015 by Camaro Guy

July 11, 2015

What is holding me back, and the only thing holding me back, is not having any friends to go out with. I have no problem approaching girls and opening I just hate going out alone. They always pick up on it and think you're some sort or loner/weirdo. It's very depressing not even having enough friends to count on one hand, so I'm in most weekends.

How did you pluck up the courage to go out alone? Drink alone in bars and approach? What do you say when asked "where are your mates?" It's so depressing.

Please advise. What can I do to get past this and go out alone? The funny thing is, when I am out in bars approaching is easy. I had a works' do last night out with 10 friends, went to a fancy bar full of women. Being amongst friends I felt very comfortable and so I started approaching lots of girls in the bar. No sweat. But being alone, going in alone... That's entirely different.

July 12, 2015

Dunno about you, but I'm getting tired of installing: color TVs, custom kitchens & refrigerators, for f@&&0t millionaires who get their money from playing on the MTV.

July 12, 2015

Are you serious???

I thought you were just a little less sexually active than average, not a 25 yo virgin.

No way!

In that case, this is absolutely the biggest, fastest turnaround in history!

Congratulations.

I admire the fact that you did something instead of sitting around complaining. That's very, very impressive. You may literally be the only one here who did that. The other guys complaining should listen very closely to you.

I'm not sure about going out every night, since your career might suffer, but since it's new to you, I'm sure that's why you're jumping right in.

July 12, 2015

What is holding me back, and the only thing holding me back, is not having any friends to go out with. I have no problem approaching girls and opening I just hate going out alone. They always pick up on it and think you're some sort or loner/weirdo. It's very depressing not even having enough friends to count on one hand, so I'm in most weekends.

How did you pluck up the courage to go out alone? Drink alone in bars and approach? What do you say when asked "where are your mates?" It's so depressing.

Please advise. What can I do to get past this and go out alone? The funny thing is, when I am out in bars approaching is easy. I had a works' do last night out with 10 friends, went to a fancy bar full of women. Being amongst friends I felt very comfortable and so I started approaching lots of girls in the bar. No sweat. But being alone, going in alone... That's entirely different.

There's your problem. You need to change your circle of friends. I used to hang around a bunch of ****ing losers before I really changed my circle of friends. I used one of my good buddies as a pivot to get into my current circle. It's good because it's a nice mix of guys and girls. I'm currently attempting to get with this one girl in our circle.

To me, being good with interacting with girls and having great platonic and sexual relationships with the opposite sex was more important, so I cut my old friends loose. I stopped going over their houses. I stopped returning their calls. They didn't set me up with girls, they weren't out meeting girls. I can't be in a circle where I'm getting nothing out of it. The moment I did, my mindset changed. When you're around guys who are just absolutely killing it every day, when you're around guys who live to the edge, when you're around guys who know what they want out of life... You become that guy.

I literally had to rewire my mind. So I did it. I figured that if all these people who are shorter than me, fatter than me, not as smart as me can get laid, I can too. I know I have a lot to offer.

If your friends don't want to go out, approach girls in the day time. Walk around the main streets in your city, walk around in malls and just approach girls. It can be unnerving at first but think of it as as a good way to get to meet girls and stretch beyond your comfort zone. As you do it more and more, you'll get better at it. The butterflies never go away but they become less. I hope you live in an area where you can do this.

I live in an area with a lot of walking traffic, so I can go out and just meet girls like it's nothing. You need an area with a lot of anonymity and a lot of women who go there. You don't want to be known as "that guy". Sometimes if I'm getting out of work to my car and an interesting lady passes me, I'll approach her. Most times I am shot down but I have gotten two numbers from this.

At night, I'll go anywhere. I chatted up a girl in the line for Chipotle and said I'd like to see her again. I got her number. She sucked me off a couple days later. When I go to bars solo, it typically only happens during the week. My friends and I all go out to the bars or clubs on weekends. If I'm solo and the girl asks who I'm with, I tell her I'm getting an after-work drink. However, at this point I could tell her anything and it wouldn't really matter because I opened her well and we're vibing if we get to that point in the conversation. If I ask her "are you here alone?" and she says "yes", I then attempt to take her to another venue. Typically, I'll try and take her to an eatery for something casual, then I try to go to my apartment. This method has not worked for me so far on the weekday. I have not had a same day pull on a weeknight. She usually says she has work the next day or she's tired and she gives me her number.

All that you need to do is take action.

Edited July 12, 2015 by Camaro Guy

July 12, 2015

Are you serious???

I thought you were just a little less sexually active than average, not a 25 yo virgin.

No way!

In that case, this is absolutely the biggest, fastest turnaround in history!

Congratulations.

I admire the fact that you did something instead of sitting around complaining. That's very, very impressive. You may literally be the only one here who did that. The other guys complaining should listen very closely to you.

I'm not sure about going out every night, since your career might suffer, but since it's new to you, I'm sure that's why you're jumping right in.

Thank you sir. It was a big leap in a short period of time but I'm glad I did it. I had sex for the first time literally last week. But I had to plant some seeds first. I turned 25 a couple of weeks ago. I literally sat down on the edge of my bed and told myself "look man. You're 25. You can't keep this **** up. How much longer are you gonna do this?" Then I was determined. I would go out. Meet girls. I had no other expectations. I never expected to get laid. I never expected to have makeouts. I never expected to get sucked off. I would just go out and interact with women.

I decided a little bit ago to stop masturbating and watching internet porn. I had done it on and off but I decided that it was very detrimental to my long term outlook and if I wanted to motivate myself to get girls, I needed to do it. So I did it. I cut off all porn. My only sexual release would be through girls.

I had been making the jump into a new friend circle for a while. I was inching my way in until suddenly my friend who was part of my old circle said "hey man, we're gonna be having a huge pregame man. Come on by." I was down. I was scared but down. I went had a ****ing blast. Met a lot of cool girls. I then met this one girl. Cute blonde. Nicest hazel eyes. For some reason, talking to her wasn't hard. I then had the impulse to ask for her number. She gave it to me. Told her I'd see her around. She ended up being my first date. We had two but I slowly lost interest because she just seemed like a boring person.

Changed up my style a bit. It's somewhat edgy yet a bit preppy at the same time. Started cutting fat a few months ago. I already go to the gym. I'm 6'2 and now I weigh 183. I eat a clean diet. I barely drink when I go out. If I do, I try and get the "cleanest" drinks I can. No beer. I have the "fitness model" look that girls want. Physically, I am casual sex material.

I watched A TON of motivational videos and dating advice on YouTube. I forced my brain to accept these truths.

Got my first blowjob from this one girl I met at a bar. She was REALLY keen on me. I sweet talked her but I was scared to have sex. We went in my car and she just did it right there. I walked her back to the bar like nothing happened and approached other girls. I was going to go back with this one girl but she threw up on the sidewalk.

I then decided to get a box of condoms. I was determined to use them. I just didn't think they'd be that soon.

On Fourth of July, went to one party. Talked to this girl. We were vibing. Got her number. Went to another party later in the nights. Lots of people. Lots of chicks. I spotted this one girl out of my eye. Talked to her, her personality was so sweet. As the night went on and the alcohol went on, we headed back to her place. I was going in on her. It felt so natural, pinning her up against the wall and having my way with her. Then we went on the bed, I was whispering in her ear to tell me what she liked and she told me. I did it. I just then told her I wanted to have sex but I was a virgin. She said she wanted to take it because I was "hot". She rode me, I lasted like 5 minutes. We did it about 2 more times. Then woke up the next morning and did it again. It was awkward, but fun.

Got this one girl from the bar's number earlier this week. I told her I wanted to meet up. Had sex with her on Thursday. I texted her but she never texted me back. I guess she wanted to get laid and I was bad in bed.

Yesterday, went on a date with a girl to a drive through movie. I was kissing on her and she sucked me off in the passenger seat. I reached in her pants, she said she wasn't having sex that night. I said "that's cool" and we continued making out. Twenty minutes later, I was screwing her in the backseat. She wants me to come over for "a movie" on Sunday.

Really guys, this stuff isn't that hard. It's doable but it takes effort. If you aren't willing to put in the effort, why even whine about it? It gives in what you put out. Don't go out expecting to get laid. I got laid when I said it won't happen. But I enjoyed talking with and interacting with these girls. I wasn't looking to "get" something from them.

July 12, 2015

Oh wow...

Well, congrats on the 180. Just be careful out there and use protection.

Yeah, you'll still have some hit/misses while you're out there - but the more you do it, the more confident you'll get and it will get easier to approach/chat up women.

But eh, I'm not surprised on how easy chicks are giving out bjs now a days..I think it's as common as them kissing you on a date. Boy, if I was a dude now a days

Once you get your "wild" out of your system, hopefully you can meet a cool gal and have sex plus regular companionship.

July 12, 2015

Great thread. It may sound unbelievable to some but it makes a lot of sense.

Until you get yourself off the couch and "out there", your fear will build this whole meeting women thing into a huge monster that it's not. Once you start talking to them, and fooling around with them.. you'll quickly realize that it's a lot easier than you thought it would be.

The guy who wrote this thread was like me.. some 35 years ago. I still recall nervously asking girls out on a date.. in no time at all I was adding notches to my belt.

That's how it happens, if you give yourself the opportunity.

Well done.

July 12, 2015

There's your problem. You need to change your circle of friends. I used to hang around a bunch of ****ing losers before I really changed my circle of friends. I used one of my good buddies as a pivot to get into my current circle. It's good because it's a nice mix of guys and girls. I'm currently attempting to get with this one girl in our circle.

To me, being good with interacting with girls and having great platonic and sexual relationships with the opposite sex was more important, so I cut my old friends loose. I stopped going over their houses. I stopped returning their calls. They didn't set me up with girls, they weren't out meeting girls. I can't be in a circle where I'm getting nothing out of it. The moment I did, my mindset changed. When you're around guys who are just absolutely killing it every day, when you're around guys who live to the edge, when you're around guys who know what they want out of life... You become that guy.

I literally had to rewire my mind. So I did it. I figured that if all these people who are shorter than me, fatter than me, not as smart as me can get laid, I can too. I know I have a lot to offer.

If your friends don't want to go out, approach girls in the day time. Walk around the main streets in your city, walk around in malls and just approach girls. It can be unnerving at first but think of it as as a good way to get to meet girls and stretch beyond your comfort zone. As you do it more and more, you'll get better at it. The butterflies never go away but they become less. I hope you live in an area where you can do this.

I live in an area with a lot of walking traffic, so I can go out and just meet girls like it's nothing. You need an area with a lot of anonymity and a lot of women who go there. You don't want to be known as "that guy". Sometimes if I'm getting out of work to my car and an interesting lady passes me, I'll approach her. Most times I am shot down but I have gotten two numbers from this.

At night, I'll go anywhere. I chatted up a girl in the line for Chipotle and said I'd like to see her again. I got her number. She sucked me off a couple days later. When I go to bars solo, it typically only happens during the week. My friends and I all go out to the bars or clubs on weekends. If I'm solo and the girl asks who I'm with, I tell her I'm getting an after-work drink. However, at this point I could tell her anything and it wouldn't really matter because I opened her well and we're vibing if we get to that point in the conversation. If I ask her "are you here alone?" and she says "yes", I then attempt to take her to another venue. Typically, I'll try and take her to an eatery for something casual, then I try to go to my apartment. This method has not worked for me so far on the weekday. I have not had a same day pull on a weeknight. She usually says she has work the next day or she's tired and she gives me her number.

All that you need to do is take action.

Duly noted but you have not answered my question- how do I cultivate this new social circle? How do I meet new wingman to go out with? As I said, once out, I have no problem opening girls and getting numbers. My problem is having no one to go out with every single weekend. How do I go about meeting other socially minded men? I live in London so girls are aplenty.

July 12, 2015

Duly noted but you have not answered my question- how do I cultivate this new social circle?

BTDT about 20-something years ago. Basically, I dropped my married friends whom I had known since we were all young and single and went out and explored the world alone.

How do I meet new wingman to go out with?

I guess the wingman thing works for some but I didn't have time to be dependent upon another man nor were there many single men around at the time, at least those interested in a buddy system. Think more of the rugged individualist type.

As I said, once out, I have no problem opening girls and getting numbers. My problem is having no one to go out with every single weekend.

IMO, no need to have someone to go out with, rather engage in stuff one enjoys and be in total control of who, what, where and when. Of course, if one meets a guy-friend along the way, bonus.

How do I go about meeting other socially minded men? I live in London so girls are aplenty.

Either through shared interests, social organizations or traveling. As examples from personal experience, I met guys while racing, working in volunteer organizations and sharing hobbies and interests in far-flung places. As an extreme example, I struck up a friendship with a doctor in Wellington, NZ over our shared interest in travel and flying, did a few deals together, got to know each other a bit and he was my 'wingman' for a week while I was in New Zealand. Met a bunch of kiwi ladies that way whom I'd never have met if not knowing him, not because he was a lady's man (he wasn't) but rather because he knew the town and took me to places with good opportunities. I didn't act on any of that stuff because, well, I was married at the time. I could have though. It was all there.

I think the OP outlined things well. If one is a man, one has to focus, work on one's self, and purposely and with a plan get out there. Sure, it's fun, but it's also a conscious effort for some of us. I doesn't just 'happen'. Congrats to the OP for his work product. Basically, a similar path was how I got married.

July 12, 2015

Good stuff man. The exact same quantum leap happened to me. I even made about 5 threads just like this one!

You've realised that all the rationalizing doesn't mean anything when you go out and actually do stuff. Kudos - and there's way more out there to learn and discover. My only advice is regarding this place - don't expect most of the strugglers to listen to you now that you've reached a milestone. They'll just make excuses for why what you've done doesn't work for them. If they do listen, its a big bonus!

Once again, well done and good luck

July 12, 2015

I did notice a few advantages the OP has that I doesn't have.

The first thing I notice is that he does have a car. That opens up a lot of avenues. The only form of transportation I have is via city bus and it is a pretty bad bus system too, perhaps the worse in the United States. Otherwise, I will be walking since I don't know how to ride a bike yet.

Secondly, he does have friends he can trust, which is another advantage. Down here, I can only trust people only as far as I can throw them. I don't remember the last time I had 1 friend that I actually want to stay in contact with.

Lastly, as I mentioned a few times before in other threads, there is hardly any women nearby that I actually want to cold approach. Even if I did attract one of these women, her interest in me will almost always be higher than mine. In fact, if I lost her, I wouldn't even feel any regret for it.

Outside of getting social practice with strangers, there is no point to me cold approaching in Jacksonville Florida. I will simply have to wait until I move out of this city somehow. Until then, I am literally wasting my time.

When that chance comes, I will look back at this thread and consider the advice here.

Good luck out there, OP.

July 12, 2015

BTDT about 20-something years ago. Basically, I dropped my married friends whom I had known since we were all young and single and went out and explored the world alone. I guess the wingman thing works for some but I didn't have time to be dependent upon another man nor were there many single men around at the time, at least those interested in a buddy system. Think more of the rugged individualist type. IMO, no need to have someone to go out with, rather engage in stuff one enjoys and be in total control of who, what, where and when. Of course, if one meets a guy-friend along the way, bonus. Either through shared interests, social organizations or traveling. As examples from personal experience, I met guys while racing, working in volunteer organizations and sharing hobbies and interests in far-flung places. As an extreme example, I struck up a friendship with a doctor in Wellington, NZ over our shared interest in travel and flying, did a few deals together, got to know each other a bit and he was my 'wingman' for a week while I was in New Zealand. Met a bunch of kiwi ladies that way whom I'd never have met if not knowing him, not because he was a lady's man (he wasn't) but rather because he knew the town and took me to places with good opportunities. I didn't act on any of that stuff because, well, I was married at the time. I could have though. It was all there.

I think the OP outlined things well. If one is a man, one has to focus, work on one's self, and purposely and with a plan get out there. Sure, it's fun, but it's also a conscious effort for some of us. I doesn't just 'happen'. Congrats to the OP for his work product. Basically, a similar path was how I got married.

Thanks for the advice. So when the inevitable question comes "where's your friends? Why you out alone?" What's a good way of dealing with them?

July 12, 2015

I did notice a few advantages the OP has that I doesn't have.

The first thing I notice is that he does have a car. That opens up a lot of avenues. The only form of transportation I have is via city bus and it is a pretty bad bus system too, perhaps the worse in the United States. Otherwise, I will be walking since I don't know how to ride a bike yet.

Secondly, he does have friends he can trust, which is another advantage. Down here, I can only trust people only as far as I can throw them. I don't remember the last time I had 1 friend that I actually want to stay in contact with.

Lastly, as I mentioned a few times before in other threads, there is hardly any women nearby that I actually want to cold approach. Even if I did attract one of these women, her interest in me will almost always be higher than mine. In fact, if I lost her, I wouldn't even feel any regret for it.

Outside of getting social practice with strangers, there is no point to me cold approaching in Jacksonville Florida. I will simply have to wait until I move out of this city somehow. Until then, I am literally wasting my time.

When that chance comes, I will look back at this thread and consider the advice here.

Good luck out there, OP.

Well, you have a good understanding of your situation and I couldn't agree more with what you said.

Only hope might be going out locally, on foot and getting to know whoever you meet in various places close by.

That stupid monorail thing downtown is ridiculous. It's barely even open.

The wider world is so much more simple than where you are located.

July 12, 2015

Thanks for the advice. So when the inevitable question comes "where's your friends? Why you out alone?" What's a good way of dealing with them?

I can't recall getting such questions in hundreds, if not thousands, of interactions. Either it wasn't customary in my generation or I wasn't important enough to be sufficiently interesting to ask such questions of. However, such situations are an opportunity to expand one's sense of humor.

'Heh, my guy friends are all married. I guess they're home changing diapers tonight' (True!, though perhaps speculation on the diaper part.)

'If I had been jabbering away with a guy friend I'd never have caught your gaze across the room. Good thing for me I was here alone tonight' (Presuming the question came from a lady)

Etc, etc.

One tip from past experience. Life isn't a script. Go with the flow. Perfection isn't required.

July 12, 2015

Well, you have a good understanding of your situation and I couldn't agree more with what you said.

Only hope might be going out locally, on foot and getting to know whoever you meet in various places close by.

That stupid monorail thing downtown is ridiculous. It's barely even open.

The wider world is so much more simple than where you are located.

I do a lot of walking. In fact, that is how I get to places for the most part. There is a club and a mall right across the street from each other that is about 2-3 miles from where I currently stay at. It is far enough that you don't want to walk the distance but it is close enough that riding a bike would make it doable. However, since I have walked long distances all of my life, walking it is just a minor pain on my legs at best.

This past Friday, I went back to the club by myself. I didn't talk to anyone since everyone has someone else with them at all times and the place is loud. I went there, played a few games there, watched others have fun bowling, dancing and playing games, and then left.

I guess my main issue is that I got nothing worth talking about. I am more of an deep thinker kind of person. I am the kind of person that talks about things that has meaning like possible career paths, traveling, how to make more money, and the such. The average person I speaks to lately could barely understand how not to blow their entire paycheck away on unnecessary stuff let alone is capable of actually putting it in effect. It doesn't help that I got no interest in music or movies, which is 2 of the biggest conversation starters out there and if the topic gets boring to me, it is easy for me to withdraw out of it.

It can't be helped. I am certainly keeping note of everything that has been said since I been on this site but, right now, there is hardly anything to gain from doing it, at least not in my current location, that is.

July 12, 2015

Thanks for the advice. So when the inevitable question comes "where's your friends? Why you out alone?" What's a good way of dealing with them?

As Carhill said, of all the approaches I've done while out solo, I've only had a few girls ask me this because I am able to divert the conversation enough to make sure they don't ask that. If they do, I just tell them I am getting an after-work drink.

I guess my main issue is that I got nothing worth talking about. I am more of an deep thinker kind of person. I am the kind of person that talks about things that has meaning like possible career paths, traveling, how to make more money, and the such. The average person I speaks to lately could barely understand how not to blow their entire paycheck away on unnecessary stuff let alone is capable of actually putting it in effect. It doesn't help that I got no interest in music or movies, which is 2 of the biggest conversation starters out there and if the topic gets boring to me, it is easy for me to withdraw out of it.

Don't say that. You have tons to talk about. We all do. If you're a "deep thinker" put yourself in situations to meet those types of women. Coffee shops... meetup groups... etc. The list is endless. Also, when you do meet a girl don't dive too deep with her. No one wants to discuss existentialism on a night out. You show the girl that you're socially attuned but you don't get into topics like that with her. After you've had sex with her, then you start to show that side of you. I've found that the girls I've slept with start to open themselves up to me after we've had sex.

Look up current events. Look up celebrity news even if you're not interested in it. Just know about pop culture. In actuality, you can say anything if you know how to work a conversation. I've said some of the most outlandish things to girls and I've got them laughing. They've made great openers too.

Edited July 12, 2015 by Camaro Guy

July 12, 2015

I'd like to make the distinction between different types of approaches. They are as follows:

Solo daytime - weekday/weekend
Solo nightime - weekday/weekend
Group daytime - weekday/weekend
Group nighttime - weekday/weekend

So you've got 8 different categories. All different and call for different tools.

Solo daytime (weekday) - Can be tricky to approach girls. Use contextual approach here. Don't just into a coffee shop and approach and then leave. Actually buy something and make it seem like a "chance" encounter.

Solo daytime (weekend) - More women are on the streets, here's where cold approaching comes in handy.

Solo nighttime (weekday) - Can be good to scope out an area. A lot of girls are looking for something low-key at this time, good time to flesh out your conversation skills. Approach one, at most two girls because most likely, the venue will not be crowded.

Solo nighhtime (weekend) - Can be hard, especially for a man who's just starting out. Start to approach girls a bit later on in the night, let them do the talking. They will most likely be slightly to very intoxicated at a certain point.

Group daytime (weekday) - Most likely an outing with friends. If anything, peer pressure will prevent you from approaching to not look like a fool. That's why your circle of friends here is critical.

Group daytime (weekend) - More volume of girls out on the streets and in venues, again social circle is key.

Group nighttime (weekday) - This is where a "wingman" will start to come in handy. It can also save you from the dreaded thought of going out alone and save you if a girl asks you that question. Can be fun.

Group nighttime (weekend) - This is where you get a good amount of bang for your buck. My friends and I like preplanning certain venues to go to. We eat a place then go to a venue. Soooo many opportunities for approaching girls.

July 13, 2015

Don't say that. You have tons to talk about. We all do. If you're a "deep thinker" put yourself in situations to meet those types of women. Coffee shops... meetup groups... etc. The list is endless. Also, when you do meet a girl don't dive too deep with her. No one wants to discuss existentialism on a night out. You show the girl that you're socially attuned but you don't get into topics like that with her. After you've had sex with her, then you start to show that side of you. I've found that the girls I've slept with start to open themselves up to me after we've had sex.

Look up current events. Look up celebrity news even if you're not interested in it. Just know about pop culture. In actuality, you can say anything if you know how to work a conversation. I've said some of the most outlandish things to girls and I've got them laughing. They've made great openers too.

Coffee shops isn't really to my advantage since I work overnight currently so by the time people is in those shops, I am either at the end of my shift or going home to get some sleep. The last thing I need at that time of day is coffee. Besides, the only coffee shop I can think of is Starbucks and I don't even know if that qualifies as a coffee shop.

As for Meet-up groups, that is a bit difficult to attend because of my lack of transportation. I have only been to one meet-up and even though it wasn't a bad one, I was concerned that I had to call a cab and pay $25 just to get myself back home afterwards, basically doubling the cost of what I had to pay to attend. Needless to say, I hasn't attended another since then.

Well, I don't go in and start talking about deep topics immediately. Mostly, I let her start it off and then I continue it from there. My issue is that when people do respond, it is typically topics that I have very little interest in and I don't have enough desire to look it up or read about it. For example: anime, smoking, and alcohol is 3 such examples.

Either way, if the answer she gives me doesn't have enough substance to continue the conversation, regardless of the topic, it tends to die off right then and there. I get turned off by direct short word answers. If there's one way you know for sure that the issue has no interest to me, simply see if I give you a short 3-word or less response.

As for celebrities, I do keep up with them in some way. My issue with the topic is that it is mostly negative news or, in some cases, disturbing to read about. For example, Ariana Grande and what she said and did at a donut shop recently. Another one is seeing photos of Justin Beiber and John Legend's butts on Facebook.

I am like, "Seriously?" It makes it difficult to even talk about celebrities without finding something negative or weird about them and it is even more disturbing that these people gets more attention than some of our major problems within America.

Lastly, as long as I have something to build off of and she has shown some interest in me, I can typically take it from there. But until then, I am zoning to see if she has any interest first before I get to that point.

I feel that the longer I talk, the lower her interest gets over time so I would have to get her number after the 2nd or 3rd question if I had a chance of getting her for a date.

I'd like to make the distinction between different types of approaches. They are as follows:

Solo daytime - weekday/weekend
Solo nightime - weekday/weekend
Group daytime - weekday/weekend
Group nighttime - weekday/weekend

So you've got 8 different categories. All different and call for different tools.

Solo daytime (weekday) - Can be tricky to approach girls. Use contextual approach here. Don't just into a coffee shop and approach and then leave. Actually buy something and make it seem like a "chance" encounter.

Solo daytime (weekend) - More women are on the streets, here's where cold approaching comes in handy.

Solo nighttime (weekday) - Can be good to scope out an area. A lot of girls are looking for something low-key at this time, good time to flesh out your conversation skills. Approach one, at most two girls because most likely, the venue will not be crowded.

Solo nighhtime (weekend) - Can be hard, especially for a man who's just starting out. Start to approach girls a bit later on in the night, let them do the talking. They will most likely be slightly to very intoxicated at a certain point.

Group daytime (weekday) - Most likely an outing with friends. If anything, peer pressure will prevent you from approaching to not look like a fool. That's why your circle of friends here is critical.

Group daytime (weekend) - More volume of girls out on the streets and in venues, again social circle is key.

Group nighttime (weekday) - This is where a "wingman" will start to come in handy. It can also save you from the dreaded thought of going out alone and save you if a girl asks you that question. Can be fun.

Group nighttime (weekend) - This is where you get a good amount of bang for your buck. My friends and I like preplanning certain venues to go to. We eat a place then go to a venue. Soooo many opportunities for approaching girls.

I will have to try out the solo weekday nighttime and weekend daytime strategy and see what happens.

Also, as for the "weekend" part, is that Friday and Saturday night or Saturday and Sunday night?

July 13, 2015

As the man says just get out there.

When the Ex and I married, she was offered a career job and we moved to a new city a thousand miles away.

Six months later I caught her cheating and kicked her out. All of our friends were from where she worked. And where I worked almost everybody was married, so I had no friends.

That first Sunday, I just had to get out of our apartment. So I took our two 12 week old kittens, put them in a picnic basket and off to the local park to let them play. I had no idea that they would be a chick magnet. One good looking gal, skated by saw the kittens, then hit a bump in the side walk and down she went. I couldn't help but laugh, she too thought it was funny and came over to play with the kittens. Her name was Sunshine, and yes we eventually dated.

Another couple, walked by, he carrying a 12 pack, she stopped to meet the kittens, we talked, he gave me a beer. They were on the way to a BBQ with friends, they invited me to join them.

The next weekend I was playing softball with the new friends I made at the BBQ

Edited July 13, 2015 by 2.50 a gallon

July 13, 2015

I'm sure there is more to the story of you dumping lifelong friends simply because they couldn't/dont get laid

July 13, 2015

I'm sure there is more to the story of you dumping lifelong friends simply because they couldn't/dont get laid

Yes, there is.

First of all, these weren't "lifelong" friends. I live in a different city than I grew up in and none of them live around here.

Secondly, I've only known these guys for 4 years, so around end/middle of college. So it wasn't hard to ditch them.

Looking back, I did not ditch them for being unable to get laid. However, it was symptomatic of their overall world view.

They had no passion for life. There was a "dead" look in their eyes.

They would always make excuses for why they aren't where they want to be.

They would always belittle and drag others down.

They were afraid to push boundaries, not step on toes.

And many others.

Unfortunately, I absorbed these traits by osmosis. Now that I hang around people who see the bigger picture, I also see the bigger picture.

It's a nice view. Hope you see it one day.

July 14, 2015

In the past three weeks, I have gone out every. single. night.
So far, I've made out with over 10 girls, got the numbers of at least 20, and have gotten blowjobs from seven, had sex with three. I now have regular sex with two of those girls. At least half of those girls were from daytime cold approaches.

Sounds like you feel pretty proud of yourself using all these women. Then again, they're idiots if they're falling for this sh*t.

July 14, 2015

Sounds like you feel pretty proud of yourself using all these women. Then again, they're idiots if they're falling for this sh*t.

Has it not crossed your mind that the women would actually like to participate as well? Or can you not fathom that? Or is it this innate solipsism I keep seeing in women again. And again. And again.

What is it with a certain percentile of women on here who keep portraying women as victims? If a woman is DTF on the first date then hell freezing over ain't gonna stop that. She is gonna **** that night providing the guy is running tight game and builds enough comfort followed by escalation.

Women want it just as much as men. Stop the Bambi Portrayal, it's nauseating to read.

July 14, 2015

Has it not crossed your mind that the women would actually like to participate as well? Or can you not fathom that? Or is it this innate solipsism I keep seeing in women again. And again. And again.

What is it with a certain percentile of women on here who keep portraying women as victims? If a woman is DTF on the first date then hell freezing over ain't gonna stop that. She is gonna **** that night providing the guy is running tight game and builds enough comfort followed by escalation.

Women want it just as much as men. Stop the Bambi Portrayal, it's nauseating to read.

This is just some advice, take it or leave it, I am not giving it to score points.

Just about every post I read from you, shows that you do not like women in general, you appear to despise them.

Unless you change that mindset, you will NEVER be successful with any decent woman.

Fine if you are going to be a misogynist bachelor for life, you are perfectly entitled to be that, BUT I do not believe you want that.

Do you?

Rein your bitterness in and just learn to relax more.

Women in general are NOT the enemy.

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