accident_prone Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 i'm not very active on social media but i browse facebook occasionally. last night my girlfriend of a few months texted me right before i went to bed, a few minutes after we finished talking and asked if we could have a serious talk real quick. essentially it was this: i have friends that are girls and one from a long time ago posted a picture that i pressed like on. my gf said it was mildly provocative photo but i really didn't even pay that much attention. she said that it just bothers her a little to log on and see "he liked this photo" which i can totally understand. she's kind of insecure and that's understandable. how should I handle this? thanks!
ScotchBeef Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Two options. 1. Tell her to stop being so insecure, there should be nothing wrong with liking a photo. 2. Go along with it and just be careful in future. If it's all the same to you, maybe best just to do as she asks. It's not really going to have any negative effect on your life if you never like an attractive girls photo again, but will make life a bit easier with your girl. Personally i'm a man of principle, i'd tell her to calm down. 2
IronZ Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 You can't even "like" a picture on FB? Serious red flag. If she's this insecure about a simple non-issue like this, imagine if you got into a real fight with her. She needs to work out her insecurity issues. 5
Qboro90 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I had the same issue at the beginning of my relationship. I would like photos of friends of mine who were girls and not think anything of it. To me it was just a click of a button, no mental thought to it but what you need to understand is that it's not the same for girls or other people. If you respect her you will stop liking photos of girls that she doesn't know or photos of girls in a bikini/provocative outfit. You can say "it doesn't mean anything " till you're blue in the face but why not just stop in order to make your gf feel more secure. If you saw her liking pics of shirtless guys or other guys in general would you be thrilled about it? Also her friends might see what you like and that's embarrassing for your gf bc they'll think you're a player or you don't truly care about your gf. 1
Author accident_prone Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 thanks for your inputs. i agree with all of you and each point is sensible. perhaps i wasn't clear enough. i have no intention of not learning from this. i will certainly be more cognizant of my limited social media activity. the point i was trying to make was that i feel bad that she got a little hurt from it and wanted to know best way to handle that without having to rehash it or lay it all out again and making it bigger than it is and risk seeming suspicious or insincere.
Qboro90 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 No need to rehash it or bring it up again. It will be more meaningful if she never has to bring it up to you again that way she'll see that your sensitive to her feelings and made the adjustment to your action on there to make her feel better. That will come with time as I don't think this is something she'll harp on if you're not a big social media guy to begin with. Everyone needs a little feedback now and then so that's all she was doing telling you. If she for whatever reason brings it up again just say that you completely understand where she was coming from and just never looked at it from that perspective because you're not big on Facebook and use the naive guy card there. You'll be arite, best of luck
IronZ Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I had the same issue at the beginning of my relationship. I would like photos of friends of mine who were girls and not think anything of it. To me it was just a click of a button, no mental thought to it but what you need to understand is that it's not the same for girls or other people. If you respect her you will stop liking photos of girls that she doesn't know or photos of girls in a bikini/provocative outfit. You can say "it doesn't mean anything " till you're blue in the face but why not just stop in order to make your gf feel more secure. If you saw her liking pics of shirtless guys or other guys in general would you be thrilled about it? Also her friends might see what you like and that's embarrassing for your gf bc they'll think you're a player or you don't truly care about your gf. No offense but you're giving some awful advice here. He's not shacking up with these girls, they're just friends and he's being supportive of their pics and liking them. If the roles were reversed and a guy was telling his gf who she couldn't talk to or how to act online, he'd be labeled a misogynist and treated with disdain. How is this any different? She is the one with insecurity issues. He can be understanding about it and try to help her, but ultimately this is a problem she has to fix, not him. 3
Qboro90 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 No offense but you're giving some awful advice here. He's not shacking up with these girls, they're just friends and he's being supportive of their pics and liking them. If the roles were reversed and a guy was telling his gf who she couldn't talk to or how to act online, he'd be labeled a misogynist and treated with disdain. How is this any different? She is the one with insecurity issues. He can be understanding about it and try to help her, but ultimately this is a problem she has to fix, not him. It has nothing to do with whether or not he's shacking up with these girls or even likes them. If he likes a photo of a girl in a bikini who is not his girlfriend that is disrespectful to his girlfriend. Can you not see how that would be embarrassing for her? She could think that he's not satisfied with her looks, or that he thinks that other girl is pretty, if her friends see that he's liking bikini pics of another girl what will they think of him? Nothing good. If she was upset that he's liking pictures lets say of another girls graduation, or a group of friends out for a drink, etc…then that is the girls issue and he should stand his ground. But liking provocative photos of other women is something guys just shouldn't do once they're in a relationship. Is his life going to be negatively affected by not liking the Sports Illustrated bikini model instagram picture? Doubt it 2
madjac74 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 The stupidity of facebook is that he could have "liked" the picture before he was dating this other girl but she saw it later and got upset about it. Facebook is idiotic people. You both are idiots. You for liking some attention seeking whore who feels the need to post bikini pics for everyone to see and her for getting upset that you are a simplistic button clicking moron 3
deadelvis Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 In my relationship, I do not click "like" on any pics of women I see online. When your woman can see every little "like" you click online, doing so is pretty much the same as pointing out hot chicks to her in person. Many women will be upset by it. It's not like curbing this stuff is a big deal in my life, and if I have a good woman at home, I feel it's worth little things like this to keep her happy. I "unfollow" all the attractive women and/or women I've dated from my news feed for two reasons 1. Respect for my girlfriend. I don't want to do anything that could give her or the other women the wrong idea. 2. I don't need to see that every day. I'm not worried about getting the GIGS, but I still just don't need to see those pictures and be tempted to click on her profile and browse through it. 2
kendahke Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) You for liking some attention seeking whore who feels the need to post bikini pics for everyone to see a How in God's name did a friend who posts a picture a while back suddenly become an "attention seeking whore who feels the need to post bikini pics for everyone to see"? What an hysterical outburst. For all we know, it was a picture of her dog and her dad playing fetch together. Edited July 13, 2015 by kendahke
kismetkismet Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Depends how she deals with it.. To be honest if I saw my boyfriend liking a lot of sexual photos of other girls I would probably be irritated by it. Not just ANY photo, but if it's overtly sexual or photos that are strictly about the person's appearance and not what is going on in their life then it would be annoying. If they were doing it repeatedly to the same girl it's sort of like flirting. howeverrrrr I probably wouldn't say anything about it unless the person was doing it constantly and I thought it might be part of a larger problem. If I were you I'd probably stop liking overtly sexual photos on facebook out of courtesy.... but also pay attention to the conversation and if she is being overly controlling.. This could be a warning sign of things to come.
wb1988 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 The stupidity of facebook is that he could have "liked" the picture before he was dating this other girl but she saw it later and got upset about it. Facebook is idiotic people. You both are idiots. You for liking some attention seeking whore who feels the need to post bikini pics for everyone to see and her for getting upset that you are a simplistic button clicking moron **** Facebook, but then again I've been blacklisted so perhaps I'm biased. 1
babycakees Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Facebook and social media in general is the worst thing to happen to relationships. 3
wb1988 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 last night my girlfriend of a few months texted me right before i went to bed, a few minutes after we finished talking and asked if we could have a serious talk real quick. Aww actually it sounds kind of cute, at least she didn't act in a super jealous psycho ghetto kind of way. You guys can setup rules, a 1 of your rules can be to not 'like' photos of the opposite sex. I know everyone on here (and the hyper liberal society in general) is against it but it can be a rule between just the two of you that you also don't discuss with others. The longest relationships I've had were actually the ones with rules like this, the kind that are frowned upon but ultimately necessary to having something long term.
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