mongo Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 women have always acted rather uncomfortable around me and i never understood why. im tall, about 6'4 with a muscular build, big hands and arms, with a very deep voice. yesterday a girl told me i was very handsome, but she said she was uncomfortable going out with me. the last girl i took out on a date told me i was very handsome and very polite, then i heard nothing from her again. all the girls i went to hs with told me i was handsome but none wanted to date me. the same goes for coworkers. either im extremely intimidating or i have personality flaws that they cant tolerate. its always the same pattern. they all agree im polite, masculine, intelligent, funny, open minded, make good conversation, etc. seriously thats why i get irritated, because its a lost cause. what can i possibly change that will effect my dating life for the better?
casey.lives Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 maybe youre too "desperate"...desperate people do desperate things ... i don't like that "fearfilled" energy, personally
Gary S Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Maybe you have not met the right girl yet. Take heart - it only has to happen once. 2
angel.eyes Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 There's not enough information to make useful suggestions. Any guesses would be blind stabs in the dark. Do you have an older sister? Ask her friends what you might do differently. You could also ask your friends' older sisters, but that might get awkward because they'll probably mention it to your friends/their brothers.
ZA Dater Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 women have always acted rather uncomfortable around me and i never understood why. im tall, about 6'4 with a muscular build, big hands and arms, with a very deep voice. yesterday a girl told me i was very handsome, but she said she was uncomfortable going out with me. the last girl i took out on a date told me i was very handsome and very polite, then i heard nothing from her again. all the girls i went to hs with told me i was handsome but none wanted to date me. the same goes for coworkers. either im extremely intimidating or i have personality flaws that they cant tolerate. its always the same pattern. they all agree im polite, masculine, intelligent, funny, open minded, make good conversation, etc. seriously thats why i get irritated, because its a lost cause. what can i possibly change that will effect my dating life for the better? If I had to guess and it would be northing more than a guess, perhaps the problem isn't look related but they feel intimidated because you are smart, fit and funny. I hate to say this but there are many people who feel the need to feel superior and its difficult to do if you meet guy like yourself, a smart person would rise to the challenge but unfortunately many don't. My advise is be you and keep going.
smackie9 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Could be something as simple as hygiene. You are best to ask a close female friend or family member....or ask one of those ladies that rejected you.....tell them it would help you greatly if they were more honest as to why you are not datable. If you are getting the same results then there is one source of the cause.
ZA Dater Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Could be something as simple as hygiene. You are best to ask a close female friend or family member....or ask one of those ladies that rejected you.....tell them it would help you greatly if they were more honest as to why you are not datable. If you are getting the same results then there is one source of the cause. This assumes people will be honest. There is one truth "your truth, my truth and the actual truth", my point being most people strive to protect you to some extent so don't give you an unfettered opinion.
smackie9 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 This assumes people will be honest. There is one truth "your truth, my truth and the actual truth", my point being most people strive to protect you to some extent so don't give you an unfettered opinion. There will be someone in his life that will give him some tip or hint to what it is. If someone asked for my honest opinion they are going to get it....I'm sure there is someone who will help him out. Most certainly we cant give him answers from where we sit. 1
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 im tall, about 6'4 with a muscular build, big hands and arms, with a very deep voice. I can see how that might make some women uncomfortable and feel intimidated. Talking with my friends, we love tall, but depending on how tall or short the woman is, not *too* tall. And you are muscular too.....so you are BIG. Some women find men who are really big to be *scary* ....lol. Don't ask me why, they just do. I have female friends tell me this. That combined with your deep voice.....well, they could find you "too" masculine, *too* manly, and ***they might have pre-conceived notions about you because of this.*** Like you may be too dominating, controlling, who knows .....women can be strange creatures sometimes. I know it may sound silly to some, but like I said, I have female friends admit this to be true. There is a balance I guess. Tall, but not too tall .....big but not too big. Masculine and manly but not too masculine and manly. Not all women will feel this way of course, so just keep going. 1
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Some of your posts on here come across as bitter/cynical and dare I say it, you don't seem to like women much. While I appreciate that attitude is coming from a place of loneliness and frustration, perhaps that vibe is apparent to your dates too. And I agree with casey.lives, desperation is a very unattractive feature. Dating coach?
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) Fine I'll date you. Yah, if I didn't have a bf, I would too. I don't know you though, nor have I read your prior posts, so just going by the physical. I love big guys. My own bf is 6'2", muscular, 230 lbs. His voice is normal deep, not too deep, not that it would matter. If you've got the right chemistry with a girl, none of that matters anyway, or shouldn't. Some girls are just weird.... what can I say. Lol. Edited July 11, 2015 by katiegrl
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Could they be a little scared, 6'4", big hands, big feet, big.... if you get my drift.
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Could they be a little scared, 6'4", big hands, big feet, big.... if you get my drift. Ouch! LOL :bunny: 1
angel.eyes Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) TBH, I sincerely doubt it's your height or build. This describes many of my exes. Women of all heights were falling all over themselves to date them. But they were extroverts and charming. Both my brothers are also similar in height (6'2" and over 6'4"). I don't get why, but women aggressively pursue both of them too. Something else is going on. The women you've asked out probably won't give you a straight answer because they won't want to hurt your feelings even further after rejecting you, but other women outside your family that you're close with will. When people are struggling it's typically interpersonal skills, hygiene, or attitude, but it could be any of a laundry list of different issues. There's not enough information to make a reasonable suggestion. Edited July 11, 2015 by angel.eyes
Recommended Posts