brokenangel99 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I'm sorry for my english, i'm not a native speaker. So here is my story. long story short.. Broke up with my ex of 2 years about 2 months ago, we lived together for a year. we pretty much in love to each other. She basically left me for her old crush (Old friend she once liked back then). i did every mistake of a dumpee would do, begging, crying, asking her to come back with me, etc.. i was insecure in our relationship. two weeks before we broke up, i was out of town to visit my family and she asked me if she could go to meet her friend.This old crush of her came in to town and he text my ex about it. I let her go to meet her friend, she already told me she was going to meet this guy who i knw he still has feeling for my ex. so, she went and spending a day with her, i text her how's it going but she didn't reply my text. i started to get nervous and had this thought behind my back he's gonna get her. she replied to my text 3 hours later and said they were busy talking etc..etc.. i believed her. so two weeks later i got back to town and i found her a lil bit distance from me, i asked her what's wrong, she said nothing. and then the next day she asked me if she could go out with her friend because he needed her to take her to a place he didn't know the address. i started to get confused but i put this thought aside.and i let her go. the night i asked her when she's going to home because it's late already. i was worried. she then told me she's gonna spend the night with this guy because he's not feeling well, having a chest pain. i was so mad yet i couldn't say it to her, so i let her to took care of him. She called me that night and said 'i love you' The next day, when she finally decided, she's not going to meet him again and will be with me forever, acting like she really loved me and i was happy. but the next day after i took her for swim, she told me that she has feeling for the other guy, she said she's in love with him. I could feel my heart hurt deeply. how could she just said that after she was all over me the night before, even we had sex, and said she loves me very much and then now she told me she's in love with that guy. i had a mental breakdown. we broke up that night, we cried and telling me she was sorry. she said she was confused, has feeling for both of us, and telling me all those s*** .. "i love you, but i think iam in love with him" she started flirting with the other guy while i was grieving on my bed (our bed) we still lived together. i couldn't eat, having a panic attact, even i thought i was having a heart attact because of the pain on my chest. and the worst part was she asked me if she could bring this guy at our place, i know what she meant, she wanted to f*** with him. i was mad and hurt. i told her "how could you do this to me?" and she said "i am single and i can do whatever i want".. i left our apartment the next day without her noticed. i packed my things and left that damn place. She text me after she got back from work, asking me where i was, i did not reply her text. i cried. and then the next day i saw on her twitter status, "yesterday was the worst day of my life" . i know because that day i left her. we didn't contact each other for two weeks.somehow i felt a lil better and after that she text me asked me how i was, i replied and we had a lil chat here and there, nothing serious. she invited me to her place because she needed a hand, she said her boyfriend was out of town for work. i went to her place, helping her move some stuff. she told me that she missed me so much, and i was back to my feeling. i said i missed her too. we hang out, having fun, fooling around like we used to, even we had sex for days, i thought we're back to normal again. untill i realised that it was a mistake, she still in touch with her boyfriend, phoning everynight and exchange "i love yous" while i was at her side, that made me so sick. I finally told her we couldn't do this anymore. because it hurt me so much. i left her with a good bye and she cried. she text me "i love you, i will always love you, and i do care about you a lot," and told me that she was happy when i was with her for a couple of days, trully happy. but i ignore her text. i was too hurt to reply. two days later i found out that her new boyfriend moved in with her. i was like WHAT?? we just broke up for two weeks and now they're living together. it's crazy!!. how could she just moving on so fast. like our 2 years LTR didn't mean anything to her and that 4 days together was just an ego stroke ? i hate myself just to think about how stupid i was fall for her breadcrumbs. i decided to go LC, for me. i didn't want to think about her anymore. she text and i replied short. just like that. didn't want to have a conversation with her. a month later she text me if we could catch up, have a coffee together, i said.." maybe we better not to see each other anymore, i dont want to hurt myself anymore. and i dont want to hangout with a girl who has a boyfriend. if she wanna to hang out with me, it better be if she's single" ... she said "okay..even if its not what i want, even if i still want you to go out with me, but i respect what u want" ... it's now two weeks of very limited contact maybe it's considered no contact i haven't texted her since. i saw her twitter, yea i know what you guys think, but i got curious.. her status said .. "I love this guy to bit. i was head over heel with him. he's smart, good looking, got style, funny..but screwed him. i hate it when i know i was so head over heel with him.i hate my self" . That's the last thing i know about her. i am on proccess to accept the break up. i forgave her because of her cheating.it's still hurt and i still love her very much, i dunno how to get her out of my head. i know people tell me that time heals, but it's been 2 months and i desperately want to get out of this situation.. . i'm trying to let her go, i don't want to hang on to false hopes anymore. i want her back but i know i may not have any chance anymore because she has boyfriend now. The things that i want to ask you guys, what does it mean of her telling me she loves me, will always love and care for me, even she told me to give us some time to be a better person and let things the way it is now for a while?. if she's in love with this old crush and wanted to work on her new relationship why she told those things. i heard that she had problem with her boyfriend here and there, it's been two months now they're dating and living together. is it a rebound? because they're dating a week after the BU and living together 2 weeks later. thankyou for reading this long post. i didn't know where to put this thoughts of mine, i didn't really have real friends out there, so here i am any thought?
La.Primavera Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 The things that i want to ask you guys, what does it mean of her telling me she loves me, will always love and care for me, even she told me to give us some time to be a better person and let things the way it is now for a while?. if she's in love with this old crush and wanted to work on her new relationship why she told those things. i heard that she had problem with her boyfriend here and there, it's been two months now they're dating and living together. is it a rebound? because they're dating a week after the BU and living together 2 weeks later. I'm sorry you are hurting so much. The simple answer is she is selfish person who has no morals or sympathy for the feelings of others. She is toxic. I don't think she loves either of you, only herself. She wants to have a backup so she is always desired by more than one man. She will never be faithful or genuine. All she will do is break your heart over and over again. It is not worth the pain. If you want to be happy, stay away from her. Absolutely no contact at all. Block her number, don't look at any of her accounts online, and completely ignore her. Allow yourself to heal and move on. You deserve so much better than her. It may be hard at first but it will get easier with time. All the best. 3
erklat Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 If you accept her love and caring you are automatically validating her she is not a bad person and it's okay to break your heart. Typical guilt relieving crp . Ignore her. Read my sig on that topic . 2
casey.lives Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 what i have learned is that we have to protect ourselves from danger, pain and undue distress. take care of You.. above all 1
Gus Grimly Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I feel you pain man. My fiance recently broke off our 4 year LTR. She too told me, during our last phone call, that she loves me and wants me in her life. Her actions after that phone call were anything but those loving words and sentiments. These women are extreme selfishness narcissists. They want their cake and eat it too with No regard to your feelings what so ever. The only thing we can do with people who treat us like dirt is cut them out of our lives completely. Absolute NO CONTACT. This is the only guaranteed way to protect ourselves from being hurt over and over again. Be a better friend to yourself. Remove her from your life. You deserve much better than her. 3
Author brokenangel99 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 i dunno if she's the typical narc. but yes she likes to ask validation for everything that she thinks she's good at. likes all the compliment to feed her ego. after two months i realised what went wrong on our relationship. its not just about me, she had those attitude that always complaint so much even to a little thing, she's a perfectionist and want things to be the way she wants it to be. after the BU she said that she's tired of the relationship, i said the same thing but i told her that the different between me and her that i stay loyal and i'm willing to fix and work things out and she doesnt. i don't want her back, i'm on stage that see things clearly and got mad over her actions. she doesn't value my feelings. tell you what, i left my fine job for this girl, left my hometown just to moved in with her because she asked me to, i got my self into debt because of this girl. that is just a serious amount of sacrifice on my part and in the end found i was dithced/replaced only in a blink of an eye because she's in love with someone else. i am mad, to my self because at this point i still have feeling for her when i shouldn't. i want to hate her but i just can't. This caused me going through hell while watching her being lovey dovey with another guy. this guy once asked me to be his friend and yea friend who stabbed me from behind. he dumped his girlfriend to be with my ex. they deserve each other. i don't know what i have done to deserve this 1
La.Primavera Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 This is not your fault. She sounds like someone with a lot of borderline personality traits. Regardless, she is now this other guys problem. They deserve each other. In time you will get over her and meet a girl who treats you with love and respect. You will be happier than her in the long run. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Total lies on her part. For her own twisted reasons, she wants you around. Once she totally gets over you, she will totally forgot about & ignore you. 1
heyitsmike Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 ive had both of my exes say this to me after a break up and its basically them trying to still keep you around just in case and as you just said she has come back to you when she is feeling lonely or missing you. the only way you are going to really get your pride back and show her you mean business is to tell her "i care about you a lot but im not willing to continue doing ewhatever we are doing. i dont want to be friends or your "male girlfriend," but more than that. if youre not willing to give that to me then i think its best if i cut off communication with you. if you change your mind you can feel free to reach out, but only if youre serious and realize what you want in your life. goodbye" 1
Author brokenangel99 Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 for the first month she admitted it that she's wrong on her part for cheating. she apologized. i said ok. and then continue to text me two times a week she wouldn't text me on the weekend because her bf would be there with her, but after weekend she always text me to ask things. she even asked my plan for the holiday and invited me to her place. i was like WHAT? u invited me there to see you with your bf? darn this woman. what does she want, really?
Holmes85 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Ex says she will always love me and care for me. ?? You should have replied to this by saying "if you loved and cared for me as much as you are making it out to be, you would definitely not hurt me or breakup with me in the first place. I think we should part our ways now, good luck to you and good bye". If you keep overthinking and keep playing the mind games she has been playing, you are setting yourself up for more emotional pain and prolonging your time to heal.
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