b6forlife Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) I just had a quick question..I've been seeing my girlfriend for a year and a half and for almost all of the relationship everything was perfect. She's my best friend and I can talk about anything with her, and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. In April, she was talking seriously with me and asked if I was becoming bored with her. Before that we sometimes would just sit at the house watching Netflix, which could sometimes get boring but that wasn't because of her. I still enjoyed being with her. We went on a cruise like a month before that and I've never had so much fun on a vacation. I had even previously thought of marriage. I digress. That question she asked me I think caused an anxiety attack instantly, because I started feeling nauseous, hot, and couldn't talk to her. I don't know why I reacted that way. Now, three months later, I still have intrusive thoughts about my girlfriend because of that single, silly question she asked me. I'm getting relatively better as the days go on, but sometimes I have bad spells. The negative thoughts normally revolve around my love for her, or if I am in fact becoming bored with her. A most recent one and one I'm struggling with now is if it's really possible to stay with her because she is my first serious girlfriend. They're the worst when I'm away from her. When I am with her, sometimes I find myself focusing on them again, and it makes it hard to enjoy being with her, but then for example yesterday, something happened and I snapped out of it and just talked nonstop and everything seemed normal again, until they cropped back up a few hours later. I guess my question was, has anyone else ever dealt with negative thoughts before about a relationship and gotten through them? I don't intend on breaking up with her because I know deep down these thoughts aren't real and are just intrusive. I've struggled with anxiety I think a little bit in the past, and I've heard about ROCD and have thought that may relate to me a little bit. I know a common aspect of anxiety is spurts where everything feels normal, which I go through every time I am with her. If anyone has any advice relative to my situation it would be appreciated. I'm started to consider therapy, but I also want to hold off because like I said I've relatively started to get better. Also I know a lot of people are going to tell me this reaction was over the top and trust me. I KNOW, but I still can't control it and need help. Thanks. Edited July 11, 2015 by b6forlife Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Well her question basically sums up what a lot of people's biggest fear about committing: am I going to be bored, lose my freedom, choose the wrong person? And she related it to herself. I think it just brought common underlying issues that lots of people have to the surface. I guess you need to get comfortable with the ideas as an individual and check that it is not her specifically that is causing this panic. I think it's fairly normal to have these feelings but depends on how pervasive and what the true source is. Try to figure that out before you take another step forward with her. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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