Author ZA Dater Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 And isn't striving for the exceptional not worth enlisting the help of others, others, who know what they are doing. YOU say yourself, you haven't a clue. Djokovich, number one in the world has a tennis coach, Boris Becker. Maybe he shouldn't bother? Maybe he should just be himself... YOU want critique and help? A dating coach will provide critique and help or is that cosy little rut just a bit too comfortable? I'd like critique from people I have actually met up with, that would be useful. Critique from a dating coach I am not interested in wont give me much value. But we all know nobody every gives critique, perhaps world really has become to politically correct or oh hear, someone may have their feelings hurt...
elaine567 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 How to feel like a complete looser at life, pay a dating coach. How to feel like a complete loser in life - spend life without ever having a gf.
lino Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Definitely lose the hand shaking I'd say. Also I wouldn't really bother with door opening, pulling out chairs, etc. As a guy who was chivalrous in several failed attempts at relationships, 99% of women cannot appreciate it from a guy they know wants them in a romantic sense. However DO BE chivalrous with other women in your life, non romantic prospects, of all ages and levels of attractiveness. That's where you'll see your chivalry appreciated Your lack of being fun and/or funny will definitely hinder you unless you have extremely excellent looks or a lot of money to make up for it. Other than that, nothing wrong with what you're doing IMO. at those comparing women to playing tennis! Last I checked, a tennis ball doesn't have a mind and the ridiculous laundry list of standards which come with that!
elaine567 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 at those comparing women to playing tennis! Last I checked, a tennis ball doesn't have a mind and the ridiculous laundry list of standards which come with that! NO-ONE is comparing women to a tennis ball.
Author ZA Dater Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 How to feel like a complete loser in life - spend life without ever having a gf. Well then I'd better wear the badge on my sleeve then
Author ZA Dater Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Your lack of being fun and/or funny will definitely hinder you unless you have extremely excellent looks or a lot of money to make up for it. Guess that's the major issue.
Qboro90 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 Why do you seem to find something negative or a reason "why I can't" do this or can't do that. You have 6 pages of suggestions, ideas, new ways of thinking, creative examples, and support. And still you're "aw shucks, I'm a loser, I don't know what women want", and onnn and onn ". Jeez dude, you're freaking bringing me down. If you want to find an excuse not to date anyone or just give up then go ahead.... You're the one who has to deal with it.
Author ZA Dater Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 Why do you seem to find something negative or a reason "why I can't" do this or can't do that. You have 6 pages of suggestions, ideas, new ways of thinking, creative examples, and support. And still you're "aw shucks, I'm a loser, I don't know what women want", and onnn and onn ". Jeez dude, you're freaking bringing me down. If you want to find an excuse not to date anyone or just give up then go ahead.... You're the one who has to deal with it. Probably because everyone says my realist attitude is negative according to them, perhaps being a realist makes one a negative person, who knows. Most of the suggestions involve things which are not workable or things I have already tried. Not workable being I cannot change my personality, it is who I am. Yes, I can try and project differently, point take on that but the frustrating part for me is twofold 1: the people I find attractive don't find me attractive 2: the people I have absolutely no interest in find me attractive. Nothing I can convey here can adequately describe how irritating I find this and to a lesser extend demotivating because my logical mind kicks in and the following is the result "Well there must be some issue with me if that is the best I can do" Yes, I get one must project what one is trying to attract but stepping back for a minute I face this truth, what if I am trying to attract the sort of person would never like me no matter what I do? What then? Again I am just applying logic, its fairly obvious why phrases like "there is one for everyone" don't wash with me, simply because logically speaking that isn't true. Its great to have an ideal and I sincerely hope everyone here finds theirs but some of do the walk of life completely alone not by choice but by circumstance, again logic says so as hurtful as it is. Would I want to be the person who can attract the people I like, sure I would but not the cost of the loosing my identity in the process which going on the posts here is what is being suggested. If you stared me in the face and asked me why I think I cant get anyone I like I'd tell you this : too boring : too ugly : too different to most other people : too logical : too fussy. I can admit to all those things, some bother me more than other as an overall I don't have much to work with that people actually DO want. Yes, miss obese would love a slim athletic guy but slim athletic doesn't count for much with miss intellectual and smart because she can get that anywhere. Sure miss mousy would love a guy who sits with CEO's and goes to nice events, miss intellectual and smart can find that fairly easily. Miss not so well off would love a generous giving guy, miss intellectual and smart can take her pick of well off guys. My point here is simple, in order to attract miss intellectual, all round fantastic you need to offer something she actually wants and values and I really don't know what that is. In my mind I have lots of fun date ideas, lots of different thing but nobody to actually do them with, creativity there I don't lack at all. I just lack someone to actually take on a date. Yes, people have tried to help, that's well documented on here but none were really viable barring one but then on that occasion Cupid totally over played his hand and through my lack of experience I got totally blind sided. I get that like me smart intellectual females are looking for the best they can get, that's natural and normal and the bottom line is I guess I am not what they want. Mistakes: 1 making a decision to be myself and not follow the crowd, I am paying for this every single day. 2 thinking being a nice guy who hasn't done the player lifestyle would be attractive to a female, clearly it isn't 3 thinking OLD would actually dish up some decent matches, it hasn't and for the most part I would have been better off if I hadn't been on any of those 30 dates, at the very least I'd have been considerably less cynical. Options : finding something else in life to try and fill this void : letting go of my morals and resorting to escorts : fill my life with work so I have no time to feel lonely : find out what people actually like and try and construct an elaborate lie to make myself appear to be what they like. : walking around with a totally indifferent attitude to dating and making no attempt to bother with it. : facing the fact I made the wrong choices and try find some peace with those choices. Not options : lowering my standards : going to a dating coach, unless the person can prove to me with statistics and importantly pictures that what they advise actually works, otherwise as far I am concerned it amounts to nothing more than a money making scene with no guaranteed return at all.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted July 16, 2015 Posted July 16, 2015 Good luck finding one of those in South Africa. Why should one need to be coached though? I will say it again, is it not enough to simply be oneself? Apparently not. a lot of them offer Skype sessions
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