Calidude6 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 So I found out my ex broke up with me possibly because she either physically or emotionally cheated on me with her so called "best friend" who is a loser. She's been seeing him and it makes me feel like they talked when we were dating. But why downgrade? I don't get it. I wasn't that bad of a boyfriend for her to downgrade to some ugly low life dude? So my thing is, I'm furious and anger but sad. I so bad wanna tell her off and yell and ask why would she leave me and downgrade for herself? I don't get it. Should I say nothing? I want to say something but would that make me look bad? 1
quattrob Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I wouldn't do that, I know alot of people would though. You may think doing that would make you feel better.. actually it doesn't do anything at all. If the point of you telling her off and showing your argue is to let off steam and/or try to make her feel bad/come back to you then you're just wasting your energy and time. Best thing to do is look for a friend or 2 and hang out. Takes alot of self control to do but trust me, after awhile you'll feel alot better. Right now things are still fresh in your head so you're going to have this urge to tell her off and make her feel guilty/bad. She WILL feel all that stuff one day and that's going to sting on her own. 1
Palmeiras Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) So she stepped out on you, and did it with a person that you, for whatever reason, don't respect? It will do you no good to ask for an explanation, nor will you get anywhere by trying to diminish this guy. You're sad, she's probably not at all, and this other guy has probably been working on this behind your back. Even so, this is on your ex-girlfriend. She made the choice to go spend her time with someone else, so you have every right to be upset with her for now. However, you'll get nowhere looking for explanations or second chances. Leave it be and get on with your life; if you were wonderful to her and this is really a terrible decision that she's making, she'll be back around at some point to see what you're up to. Of course, by then it should be too late for her to salvage anything with you. Let her have what she wants and don't waste your time with her. And say nothing. Silence is extremely powerful; you just need more patience and time for it to do its job. Most people don't have that kind of restraint. Edited July 11, 2015 by Palmeiras 1
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 She's out of your life. Leave her there. That more then anything screams how inconsequential she is. Do not go out of your way to tell her off. That screams she's still important to you & still has power over you. Is that really the message you want to send her & him? If you bump into her & snap well you are only human but so try to avoid that. 1
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Delete her and him from your life. Any person that's willing to do something like that you're better off without. Have both their numbers and a text history? Delete. See them on social media? Delete/Block. Move on. She has issues, he has issues, that's probably what drew them to each other. ****ty situation to be in. Best of luck to you. 1
erklat Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 It's not a competition between you and that dude. My ex spent insanely great amount of time with her physically abusive ex who was crying after her literally for a year when we were dating. Guy is a feminised fattie who works as a pizza boy. I'm good looking guy who works in top 15 it company in our country. I'm overall much better choice. But not for her. 1
Author Calidude6 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 It's not a competition between you and that dude. My ex spent insanely great amount of time with her physically abusive ex who was crying after her literally for a year when we were dating. Guy is a feminised fattie who works as a pizza boy. I'm good looking guy who works in top 15 it company in our country. I'm overall much better choice. But not for her. You might be right. I might not be for her. it sucks if this true that she really did this to me after 2 and half years with her so called best friendI don't know if this a rebound or whatever it is but I never expected us to break up so it was a shock and still is. They'll realize one day when they look back on their choices. 1
Author Calidude6 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) Thanks for the replies and your guys input. I'm not going to say anything even though I strongly want to but I'll fight the urge not to. I'm not sure if she did any type of cheating but it's a little sketchy that it's this dude she's now seeing and trying to hide it so my feeling is she might of. I hope it burns up in her face for this choice she made because it's just not right but after that and she learns, hope she finds her happiness. Edited July 11, 2015 by Calidude6 1
wizer Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I hope it burns up in her face for this choice she made because it's just not right It's not right for her to break up with you and go out with some other guy? Who are you to decide what's right for her? 2
Author Calidude6 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 It's not right for her to break up with you and go out with some other guy? Who are you to decide what's right for her? It's not right to cheat. 1
wizer Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 It's not right to cheat. You don't even know if she cheated. All you know for sure is that she dumped you and is going out with some other guy. There is nothing wrong with that at all. 1
Author Calidude6 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 You don't even know if she cheated. All you know for sure is that she dumped you and is going out with some other guy. There is nothing wrong with that at all. From what I heard from friends, she did cheat but hard to assume...can only go with my gut. It's also a little sketchy that the guy she's with is her best friend that would call when we were together, she asked me to go drive 2 hours away to watch him play football. Now when we had problems, she most likely told him and he said the things she probably wanted to hear or try to make her feel more worthy than she was at the moment of time. Either way, could of been emotionally cheating which is still not okay. I don't mind if she wanted to leave me and be with someone else but with any type of cheating is not right to me. 1
ravfour4 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Yeah, cheating isn't "right", but nearly everyone who breaks up with someone else does it to an extent, at least emotionally, before breaking up. It's in our nature to want to feel safe and not propel our life's into the scary unknown. 1
Satu Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 So my thing is, I'm furious and anger but sad. I so bad wanna tell her off and yell and ask why would she leave me and downgrade for herself? I don't get it. Should I say nothing? I want to say something but would that make me look bad? Care about yourself by not caring about them. 2
Author Calidude6 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 Yeah, cheating isn't "right", but nearly everyone who breaks up with someone else does it to an extent, at least emotionally, before breaking up. It's in our nature to want to feel safe and not propel our life's into the scary unknown. Like rebounds to fill that void and then they realize it wasn't the right choice or person. The circle of relationships I feel better though so thank you. That one day will come where all these emotions are gone. It's just taking a little longer than I expected 1
DexterLS Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Assuming she did cheat, what changes if you speak to her? What do you want to achieve here? Do you want closure? If yes, take it from a guy who has been cheated on by his ex of 6 years, you won't get closure from her! 1
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