CalvinM Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Women are a lot like cats. Especially after a break up. If you play with a cat, try to entertain it and give it attention, it'll eventually get bored. But if you ignore it, let it come to you, it might even lay down beside you or lay on your chest. I was with someone for three years. We lived together and broke up mostly because I wanted to settle down, have a family, etc and she wasn't ready. After she moved out, I did no contact, started running again and got in better shape. I blocked her and removed all her family and mutual friends on facebook. She reached out a few weeks later with offers of friends with benefits/no strings attached sex through email. I ignored these requests. Then she started calling and texting with offers of vinyl records she offered to buy me and finally text me saying she had lost her keys in a snowbank and needed to stay at my place. It drove her crazy that I ignored her, since she wasn't looking to get back together. From reading the stories on here, if I can give one piece of advice (and I'm going through a break up right now, so believe me, I know it sucks), if they want to leave the relationship, let them. Help them pack. No one deserves to be in a relationship where the love given isn't equal to the love they receive. I've been there and I know how scary it is to get back out there and start dating again. But if you're here, you've been loved and you'll find it again when you least expect it. And if you truly want them back, no contact is your best chance. They'll have time to miss you and when they do, they'll think about the good times. And if they never come back, you'll be moving forward, bettering yourself. This site is full of wisdom. Good luck in your journey. 2
Gus Grimly Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Whoa ... that was extremely insightful. Thank you for sharing your rationale on the subject. I've been there and I know how scary it is to get back out there and start dating again. But if you're here, you've been loved and you'll find it again when you least expect it. That's some wisdom to live by. I had to tell myself that today. "Get a grip man, she's gone, but you WILL love again. I know the concept of finding another like her seems improbable, but it's gonna happen, you'll see." Fake it till you make it. That's one way I'm trying to cope atm.
Author CalvinM Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 The only other thing I can suggest, is to be as civil as possible. My ex sent me a couple angry texts yesterday, and I waited a few hours before responding to make sure that I was calm and composed. My ex has called me the sweetest guy she's ever been with, her family like me and given what I know about breakups, I'd rather end on good terms than feel like I have the upper hand.
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Dated my ex for most of 2014. In October we called it quits. I went strict NC. One month later she drunk text'd me "so easy to let me go". We got back together in December, broke up again in January. I knew it wasn't going to work out but I enjoyed her company and sex so I gave it another go. We've had contact over the past 6 months. The door has always been open to reconcile. I know this from things she'd say and the late night texts. I chose not to pursue her. Now she's with someone else. It hurts. I'll admit it. I'm trying to let go. I always knew she was there but now that's been taken away. So now I'm back to NC, no casual how are you doing, no asking about family...nothing. I completely deleted her from my life and am trying to move on.
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