outdated Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 I made it a week myself, so good for you! Of course my dumb ass broke it on the eigth day. What can i say? I'm a sucker for my sweetie. Seems too good to just send packing. I know I live in a dream world. I hope you get what you want out of this. I'm so torn with the NC thing....
Jadey Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Well done you! Good for you! I ahve decided today that im doiing NC...The best i can cos we have 3 lessons together. But i reckon i can still do it. Nomore hanging around him at break and lunchtime, nomore texting, calling. He told me to **** off so i will! Its had already and i havent even started properly Im also on NC with afew of my "friends" Im changing my life around.. GL everyone
dibdab Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 It has also been 1 week today of no contact for me. Dumb girl phoned and i answered not know it was her or it would have been longer. I have decided today that i never want to see or hear from her again.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Today's a week for me too. Her birthday is Friday, that's going to hurt but I think I can make it. She probably won't even care but at least I'll have my self-respect.
NTB Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 keep up the good work.......hopefully maybe i can take some notes from you cause i am just weak
whitewhale Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 and I'm starting NC tomorrow... he dumped me yesterday. today there was the last - I think - text exchange.I hope I won't see him at work or out in the city. He doesn't work where I do, but he comes there for reasons. I'll do my best to avoid him. I shouldn't have suggested being friends. I should tear myself apart. I keep my fingers for all of you folks!
Jadey Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 I ahve to see mine every bloody day and have 3 lessons with him. But im gonna do NC the best i can in that situation
ConfusedInOC Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn 5 months and counting ..will go till I live.... Good job. Any tips you want to give us? Has the ex tried to call you?
greenhorn Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Good job. Any tips you want to give us? Has the ex tried to call you? You know CIOC, I have been reading all your posts and know your situation. So I give my reason of success of NC. First time NC, I broke it in 2nd week - got a rude treatment Second NC, caved in 3rd week at 3am - got the rudest treatment and that rudest treatment gives me the strength to keep going, whenever I feel like breaking NC, the whole treatment crosses my mind and I can do anything that time but won't break NC. I know you are finding it difficult cause yours treatment was not like mine, but one thing I would say with passing days and involving you in other activities and making yourself fit for next relationship will help. And yes, when you don't have any hope of reconciliation then also you won't feel like breaking NC.
greenhorn Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 And yes my ex didnt try to call me, cause she dumped me for someone else and now she is happy with him.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn And yes, when you don't have any hope of reconciliation then also you won't feel like breaking NC. As my siggy file says, if someone can walk away from you, LET THEM! I'm not chasing the ex. I am done with that. If she doesn't see the value in me and how well I treated her then so be it. She'll have to go through a few guys before it starts to sink in - if ever. And by then I hope to be happy with someone who appreciates me and won't take me for granted.
greenhorn Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC As my siggy file says, if someone can walk away from you, LET THEM! I'm not chasing the ex. I am done with that. If she doesn't see the value in me and how well I treated her then so be it. She'll have to go through a few guys before it starts to sink in - if ever. And by then I hope to be happy with someone who appreciates me and won't take me for granted. You have hit the nail on the head Dude. You are 100 % corrrect, take this as not your loss but as her loss. Take this period in your life as relationship sabbatical, think more, give priority to yourself and then when are full of vigour and confidence go for a new relationship and this one would be better than the last one. You know ppl say that time heals but I think a new love will help you to forget the old love. I have not tried this, but you should try.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn You have hit the nail on the head Dude. You are 100 % corrrect, take this as not your loss but as her loss. Take this period in your life as relationship sabbatical, think more, give priority to yourself and then when are full of vigour and confidence go for a new relationship and this one would be better than the last one. You know ppl say that time heals but I think a new love will help you to forget the old love. I have not tried this, but you should try. Thanks. I will -- eventually. But this time I'll be a lot more cautious, take things slow, make time for myself and not give so much. I've learned some hard lessons. I know not everyone feels I am a good fit for them, no matter how much I think they are for me. One thing I can say for sure, my heart is definitely hardened.
greenhorn Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC One thing I can say for sure, my heart is definitely hardened. It is not hardened dear but got more wise. Man you have really learnt a lot, your words speak for you now. On a side note , I have yet to meet someone who didn't have a heart break, so it is like a growing up pain. Keep going and you are doing excellent I must say.
whitewhale Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 "But this time I'll be a lot more cautious, take things slow, make time for myself and not give so much." That's exactly what I must do next time, though it seems hard to believe there ever will be...
beesknees Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Thanks. I will -- eventually. But this time I'll be a lot more cautious, take things slow, make time for myself and not give so much. I've learned some hard lessons. I know not everyone feels I am a good fit for them, no matter how much I think they are for me. One thing I can say for sure, my heart is definitely hardened. Just don't harden yourself too much, CIOC. My ex was stepped on by his former gf's, and I ended up bearing the brunt of their mistakes. I was totally faithful, but from the beginning (and I should've seen this as a big red flag), he had already put reservations on me that I was going to act the same as them. This wasn't fair because it was my first relationship, and he started it with a heart semi-closed. My heart was open. I gave so much, and he didn't appreciate me in the end. Take your experience as a lesson, but please don't punish your next girl for the mistakes of the prior gf. I would've been in a better place had I found someone like you who gave so much rather than my ex, who gave so little.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by beesknees Just don't harden yourself too much, CIOC. My ex was stepped on by his former gf's, and I ended up bearing the brunt of their mistakes. I was totally faithful, but from the beginning (and I should've seen this as a big red flag), he had already put reservations on me that I was going to act the same as them. This wasn't fair because it was my first relationship, and he started it with a heart semi-closed. My heart was open. I gave so much, and he didn't appreciate me in the end. Take your experience as a lesson, but please don't punish your next girl for the mistakes of the prior gf. I would've been in a better place had I found someone like you who gave so much rather than my ex, who gave so little. Oh I realize everyone is different but this kind of sting doesn't go away easily.
greenhorn Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 I totally agree with 'beesknees'. Be wise but not harden yourself.
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