Bobbi7 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 So, I met up with a guy from OLD, surprisingly it went well. He wanted to meet up again this weekend at an bar/arcade place that he was going with his friends. I told him that I couldn't go, because I had plans on Saturday evening-which was true. Most likely, if he suggests to meet up again-he's going to say to meet up with his friends and hang out. At what point should someone meet your dates friends?
Candygirljane Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Nahn it's too fast. U can take a shot if u have strong feelings for him. It seems like he's getting serious. good luck
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 After only one date (first meet)....it sounds more like he wants to make sure he gets the "seal of approval" from his friends before he continues dating you.
guest569 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't feel comfortable. I think i met my exes buddies after a few months dating when we were official and maybe housemates a bit sooner by chance. Mind you he briefly met a couple of my friends on the fourth date but they happened to be at that event, that was alright. I would just rather get to know the guy and meet his friends later. If he needs his friends approval, that seems pretty soon still. Also I am pretty shy so i tend to take my time..and its a huge deal for me to make a good impression on his mates. Edited July 11, 2015 by smiley1
TheBathWater Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I wouldn't try to read too much into it (as us LoveShackers tend to do). Take it for what it is. In any case, is it something you're comfortable with? If so, go for it. If not, no harm in holding off a little longer until you know each other better. I personally prefer until I've built a connection with someone first before I meet other people in their life. Sometimes that connection takes a number of dates, but other times the connection is instant and it seems like a sensible ideas. You're in the situation, we're not. You decide 2
sportygirl89 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I actually started talking to his best friend who is a bachelor. Ex swooped in and saved me from his friends doucheness. I met them on NYE so he was out with friends.
Author Bobbi7 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 I guess my biggest fear is having one of his friends not like me and then that would change his prospective of me?
mg101 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I met my guys 3 friends on our second outing. It was fine. I had a girlfriend meet us out so maybe that helped. Consider inviting a friend along if it's a group thing.
veggirl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I guess my biggest fear is having one of his friends not like me and then that would change his prospective of me? Valid concern. I'd decline and say "i'd rather just keep it you and I for now, are you free Xday?" For me and my bf's' 4th date, he and I were going to a baseball game that my sister and nieces already had tickets to. I asked if he wanted to get tix next to them or somewhere else and he said exactly the above "I'd rather just keep it you and I for now if that's okay" I totally understood and we did just that.
introverted1 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I guess my biggest fear is having one of his friends not like me and then that would change his prospective of me? Wouldn't you rather find out sooner than later? Don't think I'd want to date someone who needed his friends' approval in order to date me. 1
Gary S Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 No group dates for two months. No friends or family for 6 months. Dems' da rules.
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 It's really no big deal. It's just a buddy of his it's not like meeting his mom or his kids. You're gonna learn a great deal about him while watching him interact with his friend and how he behaves toward you in front of him.
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) Wouldn't you rather find out sooner than later? Don't think I'd want to date someone who needed his friends' approval in order to date me. Exactly, which is what I alluded to earlier. You have only met him once. This meeting his friends thing is not because he is getting serious and wants to incorporate you into his world by having you meet his friends and family. You had one first meet after meeting on line for heaven's sake. It's a test to see if his friends approve of you. Ugh. How old is he? He sounds really young. I mean, instead of asking you out for a second date, and planning something fun the two of you could do together, he suggests "hanging out" with him and his friends? Who does he think you are .... his frat buddy? If it were me, I would decline and consider that he may be too immature for me. Edited July 11, 2015 by katiegrl
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 How old is he? He sounds really young. I mean, instead of asking you out for a second date, and planning something fun the two of you could do together, he suggests "hanging out" with him and his friends? If it were me, I would decline and consider that he may be too immature for me. Maybe his weekend is full and this is an opportunity to spend time with her till more free time comes up. Sure they sound young but it's no difference than being invited to a friend's bbq for 2nd date, which has happened to me, and it had nothing to do with checking if his friends liked me or not.
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Maybe his weekend is full and this is an opportunity to spend time with her till more free time comes up. Sure they sound young but it's no difference than being invited to a friend's bbq for 2nd date, which has happened to me, and it had nothing to do with checking if his friends liked me or not. Gaeta, it's a bit different from being invited to a BBQ on a second date. He invited her to "hang out" with him and his friends at a bar! Second date! Buy hey, if you would have no problem with that, go for it! For me, I would not. JMO, different strokes.
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Gaeta, it's a bit different from being invited to a BBQ on a second date. He invited her to "hang out" with him and his friends at a bar! Second date! Buy hey, if you would have no problem with that, go for it! For me, I would not. JMO, different strokes. Lets keep in mind age of OP. 20is years old hang-out, that's what they do. We can't apply middle-age daters philosophy to 20 yo daters. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 When you introduce someone to your friends, it's getting a bit more serious IMO. So honestly, it would weird me out if a woman I'd only had one date with wanted me to meet her friends. Funny timing though. The woman I've been seeing for over a month has her best friend in from out of town staying with her this weekend. She invited me to go to dinner with the two of them. It's been a very long time since a guy met her best friend so I'm actually flattered by the invitation. However, if she'd brought it up after one date that would be a different story..LOL
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Lets keep in mind age of OP. 20is years old hang-out, that's what they do. We can't apply middle-age daters philosophy to 20 yo daters. True. Did not know they were 20! Missed that.
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Lets keep in mind age of OP. 20is years old hang-out, that's what they do. We can't apply middle-age daters philosophy to 20 yo daters. Just went back to see where I missed their ages. Did not see it. How do you know how old he is? In any event, when I was in my 20s, guys still took me out on dates, not just to *hang out* with him and his friends. But again, if you would have no problem, then go for it. Ultimately, it's the OP's decision.
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 At OP's age they meet friends of friends and dates of friends all the time. I ran across my daughter and her 2 friends while on a 2nd date in a park. I introduced them and we ended up hanging-out with them for an hour. We had a great laugh and there was absolutely nothing awkward.
xcupid Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 He might want his friends' seal of approval or he might want to "show you off." Or he might feel more comfortable interacting with you around his friends. Or his friends might be so important to him that you'll just be tagging along. How close is he to his friends? Whatever the reason it's whatever makes you comfortable and perfectly acceptable to keep dating without meeting friends or family for a while. 1
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 He might want his friends' seal of approval or he might want to "show you off." Or he might feel more comfortable interacting with you around his friends. Or his friends might be so important to him that you'll just be tagging along. How close is he to his friends? **Whatever the reason it's whatever makes you comfortable and perfectly acceptable to keep dating without meeting friends or family for a while**. Agree. +1000
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I think he's a clueless young man, he just would like to spend time with her, and while he was talking with her he thought it would be a great idea to invite her over to the arcade with his friend. I don't think there is any double meaning to it.
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I think he's a clueless young man, he just would like to spend time with her, and while he was talking with her he thought it would be a great idea to invite her over to the arcade with his friend. I don't think there is any double meaning to it. Perhaps you are right......it is still up to the OP whether or not she is comfortable going. And it was more than one friend. She said in her original post he asked her to hang out with him and his friends (plural).
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