Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Background: We are both 19 and we met 6 days into freshman year of college. We fell in love shortly after. It was honestly the happiest time of my life, but after about 4 months, the relationship wasn't as great, which I thought is something that should be expected. She dumped me three times. Twice she came back. She dumped me because she wanted to have more sexual partners before settling down. We saw a future together. She was my first love, I was her second. She was withdrawing from the relationship for the last 6 months (dated one year). I treated her like royalty, serving her breakfast in bed every time stayed over, cooking for her, always being there for her when she needed me, always listening to her, and being an all around perfect gentleman for her. I literally would have done anything for this girl. However, the relationship was a one way street, and I didn't get anything out of it.

 

She broke up with me a month ago. I didn't understand how she could just cast me aside so easily when her first bf was psychologically abusive and treated her like she wasn't even human. Although I was depressed and lonely, I didn't want her back. I did NC to help with the healing process. After a month I start feeling better. But then she starts texting me out of nowhere. The first time I keep the text very short and end the conversation as quick as possible.

 

The second time, I start talking to her.

 

I asked her how summer session at college was going for her, and she replied telling me that it was good and that she was over me.

 

I was still in the grieving process and naturally took solace thinking that she was also struggling. When I learned that my first love felt nothing for me anymore, I was very hurt.

 

I told her I was hurt that she felt that way. Suddenly it's like I'm back at day 1 of being dumped. I really needed to talk to someone because I was severely depressed.

 

I told my parents how I felt because I had no where else to turn. They told me how much of a disappointment I was because they gave me a good life and told me I shouldn't feel depressed with what I have been given.

 

With absolutely no where to turn, I ask my ex if we can talk and I told her how I was feeling and what my parents said.

 

She replied, "Look, I'm sorry. I've got **** of my own to deal with so I can't be bothered by this now. Besides, talking to me won't help, because I'm the one you need to talk about. I don't mean to be a bitch, but you need to get over me."

 

This is the reply I want to send, but I don't know if I should. Advice?

"The second time you broke up with me, I was devastated. But I didn't want you back. In fact, part of me was relieved because I wasn't satisfied with our relationship. Honestly, I felt more like an emotional crutch than a boyfriend at times.

 

I only took you back because I was afraid you would kill yourself. Despite not wanting to be with you, I came down to your room twice in the dead of night so you wouldn't be alone when you were scared, helped you pull an all nighter (causing me to miss all my classes the following day) because I knew you were stressed to the point of panic, and put up with you treating me like **** for a whole month.

 

When the tables turn, you can't take 20 minutes out of your day to sympathize with someone you badly hurt. What does that say about you as a person?

 

I may not be over the loss of my first serious relationship, but I'm completely over you."

Posted

Don't send it. Just do as she says and move on. Disappear. She doesn't care about you.

Posted

Damn! Your parents and this girl are being bitches, screw them all. Know that you can do this on your own, they're just being *******s, you don't need them in your life, cut them out at least temporarily.

 

I wouldn't reply to her anymore as previously suggested, she doesn't care right now. If you're going to say anything say something short, incredibly mean and then block her. Who cares if she respects you less because of it, she's being a huge bitch, make her feel terrible and then block her so you never have to see her response. Then focus on yourself and meet someone worthwhile.

Posted
I treated her like royalty, serving her breakfast in bed every time stayed over, cooking for her, always being there for her when she needed me, always listening to her, and being an all around perfect gentleman for her

 

I didn't understand how she could just cast me aside so easily when her first bf was psychologically abusive and treated her like she wasn't even human.

 

Some girls like bad boys who treat them like crap. I think it has something to do with unresolved "daddy issues" from having a dysfunctional relationship with their fathers. Anyway, with girls like this, the nicer you treat them, the less they want to be with you.

 

Although I was depressed and lonely, I didn't want her back. I did NC to help with the healing process. After a month I start feeling better. But then she starts texting me out of nowhere.

 

That was very cruel of her. Just when you're finally getting over her, she decides she's got nothing better to do that day then screw with your head.

 

Suddenly it's like I'm back at day 1 of being dumped. I really needed to talk to someone because I was severely depressed.

 

Now you see why going no contact is the best way to heal. She set you back, way back. Probably not all the way back to the way you were right after she dumped you, but close enough.

 

I told my parents how I felt because I had no where else to turn. They told me how much of a disappointment I was because they gave me a good life and told me I shouldn't feel depressed with what I have been given.

 

Your parents are insensitive A-holes.

 

This is the reply I want to send, but I don't know if I should. Advice?

 

You probably already know what I'm going to tell you:

 

˙uᴉɐƃɐ ɹǝʌǝ ɹǝɥ ɥʇᴉʍ ǝʇɐɔᴉunɯɯoɔ ʇou op puɐ ʇɔɐʇuoɔ ou ʎlǝʇǝldɯoɔ oפ ˙ʇᴉ puǝs ʇou op

Posted

I am really sorry to hear this , I couldn't images my parents ever telling me that .. They have been the biggest support for me in my life .. Even tho we lost my mother I still have my dad even at 32 he's here for me through this break up.. So I am very very sorry that your parents acted like that.. Just because they gave you a lot doesn't mean you don't have feelings or that you should just "be ok" with a break up .. Now for this girl , she seems like a real winner your best bet is to go nc . You don't need someone like her in your life what goes around comes around and she will get hers for being so mean and cold .. Become a ghost to her and better yourself and I promise you in a few months you'll look back at this and say "why did I waste so much time on her" good luck my friend

×
×
  • Create New...