katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 **She's diagnosed BPD**. You're getting a small glimpse of it. It can drive you crazy in the end. Lying comes with the territory. The plot thickens......
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) Right. And lately she's been flying off the handle and really difficult to deal with in general. She gets insanely mad for no reason and she's incredibly stubborn Promiscuous behavior is also a symptom of BPD. Why do you stay? She's fu*ked every guy in town (and probably the next town), she lies, flies off the handle, difficult to deal with, has anger issues and she's stubborn. And has cheated! She sounds lovely!! So why do you stay again? Oh, because you love her. Gotcha. [shakes head at the lunacy ... from BOTH of you!] Edited July 11, 2015 by katiegrl
Author deadelvis Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 Bipolar, high anxiety, BPD, depression, fibromyalgia, sjogrens syndrome, herpes and addicted to painkillers. History of cheating, highly promiscuous, (although now she has no sex drive), can't orgasm, continually lies, unemployed, former escort... But she also has some shortcomings.
Satu Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Bipolar, high anxiety, BPD, depression, fibromyalgia, sjogrens syndrome, herpes and addicted to painkillers. History of cheating, highly promiscuous, (although now she has no sex drive), can't orgasm, continually lies, unemployed, former escort... But she also has some shortcomings. Bear in mind that she might not actually be strong enough to tolerate your interrogations for much longer. 4
fitnessfan365 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I have never understood why you're SO obsessed with your GF's sexual history. If you could just focus on the present with you and her you'd never have issues. But all you see do is gril her about her sexual past. I'm honestly surprised she's still with you to be honest. 6
wizer Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) although I must admit there's a certain irony in making someone promise not to lie, because ya know, they could just lie about not lying... It's not ironic, it's pointless. Why would you even bother requesting that she promise you that she won't lie to you again? She's a proven liar with a history of cheating. There's no way you could ever trust this girl. Personally I would not, could not stay in a relationship with a person so devoid of honesty and ethics. Seeing how much it bothers you, I can't understand why you do. Bipolar, high anxiety, BPD, depression, fibromyalgia, sjogrens syndrome, herpes and addicted to painkillers. History of cheating, highly promiscuous, (although now she has no sex drive), can't orgasm, continually lies, unemployed, former escort... But she also has some shortcomings. Ok, so you're not with her out of "love". You have a need to punish yourself for some reason. A therapist can work through this with you. There is no reason for you to know who she f*cked in the past if she is with you now. True but irrelevant. It's like saying the tires on the car that just ran you over are showing significant tread wear. If you could just focus on the present with you and her you'd never have issues. LOL, right, everything would be peachy. Their biggest conflict would be what to name the children and what colors to paint the nursery. Still laughing.. Edited July 11, 2015 by wizer
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Right. And lately she's been flying off the handle and really difficult to deal with in general. She gets insanely mad for no reason and she's incredibly stubborn Ok, this I missed. Maybe on one of the your threads? Um, wow.
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Bipolar, high anxiety, BPD, depression, fibromyalgia, sjogrens syndrome, herpes and addicted to painkillers. History of cheating, highly promiscuous, (although now she has no sex drive), can't orgasm, continually lies, unemployed, former escort... But she also has some shortcomings. Life's too short, man. Why don't you think you can do better?
fitnessfan365 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 LOL, right, everything would be peachy. Their biggest conflict would be what to name the children and what colors to paint the nursery. Still laughing.. Actually all the drama is created by him. He was obsessed with her sexual preferences and covinced he wasn't satisfying her. She told him repeatedly how happy she was but he didn't accept it. Then he's grilled her about guys in her life, her FB friends, and gone on and on and on about her sexual history. So it seems like she is finally at the point where she's fed up with all the interrogations. 2
Author deadelvis Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 Because from day 1 I've had a gut feeling that she's been lying about her past. I'm not sure if she was a porn star or a hooker or what, but there's something big in her past that she's hiding. I can just feel it by the way she always acts so dodgy when we talk about it. None of her stories seem right, she's got huge gaps in her story, she "can't remember" a lot of stuff that a person would never actually forget, like people she lived with, places she lived etc. it just doesn't add up. I am starting to think she has some serious skeletons in the closet, and I'm not going to get seriously involved with someone who may have been a hooker or porn star. That's where I draw the line. That's why I'm obsessed with her past. Because I know she's hiding something gnarly.
Satu Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Actually all the drama is created by him. He was obsessed with her sexual preferences and covinced he wasn't satisfying her. She told him repeatedly how happy she was but he didn't accept it. Then he's grilled her about guys in her life, her FB friends, and gone on and on and on about her sexual history. So it seems like she is finally at the point where she's fed up with all the interrogations. He won't stop until she hates the sight of him. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Because from day 1 I've had a gut feeling that she's been lying about her past. I'm not sure if she was a porn star or a hooker or what, but there's something big in her past that she's hiding. I can just feel it by the way she always acts so dodgy when we talk about it. None of her stories seem right, she's got huge gaps in her story, she "can't remember" a lot of stuff that a person would never actually forget, like people she lived with, places she lived etc. it just doesn't add up. I am starting to think she has some serious skeletons in the closet, and I'm not going to get seriously involved with someone who may have been a hooker or porn star. That's where I draw the line. That's why I'm obsessed with her past. Because I know she's hiding something gnarly. But that's what I don't get though. If she's been faithful to you and has expressed how happy she was, why not just leave the past in the past? If you're always stuck in the past, you won't have a future. I could totally see her doing all this now just to mess with you. It's her way of getting revenge for you never leaving the past alone or trusting her. Since you've been determined to never believe anything she said anyways, she might as well have some fun at your expense. 1
Author deadelvis Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 So by that logic if I was a child molester who spent years in prison it's none of her business because "the past is the past"?
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 **Because from day 1 I've had a gut feeling that she's been lying about her past. **** I'm not sure if she was a porn star or a hooker or what, but there's something big in her past that she's hiding. I can just feel it by the way she always acts so dodgy when we talk about it. None of her stories seem right, she's got huge gaps in her story, she "can't remember" a lot of stuff that a person would never actually forget, like people she lived with, places she lived etc. it just doesn't add up. I am starting to think she has some serious skeletons in the closet, and I'm not going to get seriously involved with someone who may have been a hooker or porn star. That's where I draw the line.. Dude, if your gut screams she's been lying ....then you break up with her. Period. You don't keep nagging her and interrogating her...that is a recipe for disaster.... which is exactly what is happening now. And it's NOT gonna get better until you either break up with her, or start trusting her. Your choice. Frankly you both sound toxic and dysfunctional, which is probably why you're drawn to each other...sadly. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Because from day 1 I've had a gut feeling that she's been lying about her past. I'm not sure if she was a porn star or a hooker or what, but there's something big in her past that she's hiding. I can just feel it by the way she always acts so dodgy when we talk about it. None of her stories seem right, she's got huge gaps in her story, she "can't remember" a lot of stuff that a person would never actually forget, like people she lived with, places she lived etc. it just doesn't add up. I am starting to think she has some serious skeletons in the closet, and I'm not going to get seriously involved with someone who may have been a hooker or porn star. That's where I draw the line. That's why I'm obsessed with her past. Because I know she's hiding something gnarly. As you believe she is, she is not your gf really then. You don't respect her; you don't respect yourself These are not the parameters of a real relationship. You only want to possess her. Being with her is about you. BTW, you sound seriously involved already. Again sorry to be blunt. The dysfunction is on another level. 1
CarrieT Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Because from day 1 I've had a gut feeling that she's been lying about her past. I'm not sure if she was a porn star or a hooker or what, but there's something big in her past that she's hiding. That is totally her prerogative. There is nothing in the Book of Life that requires someone to divulge every little secret from their past! Perhaps she is part of the Witness Protection Program. Whatever it is, it is HER past - not yours to dredge up. I am starting to think she has some serious skeletons in the closet, and I'm not going to get seriously involved with someone who may have been a hooker or porn star. That's where I draw the line. That's why I'm obsessed with her past. Because I know she's hiding something gnarly. You need to walk away from this girl. You are more obsessed with her past than who she is today, right now. Yes, it will drive a wedge between whatever you two have and eat away at it because of how unhealthy it is. Read this again: You have NO RIGHT to who she was! You can only be with who she is. Either accept it or leave. 2
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Right. She's had a hard time with honesty for a while now, she's big on "omissions" concerning her sexual history with various people. But she's promised not to lie to me before, pretty much after every time I caught her in a lie. But this time she got really defensive, but I also asked her in a much more serious "swear on a stack of bibles" type of way. Her crazy reaction and refusal made me realize that she's got some serious skeletons she's still keeping in the closet. This whole post sounds like you are 12. Women lie about their sexual encounters because men can't handle it, and you're a proof of it. Why do you want to know who she slept with? So you can have a mental image of those dudes banging her while you have sex with her? I hope you enjoy the mental image. I don't know ANY man that his life got enhanced by knowing who his girlfriend slept with before him. Actually each time I've hear about it it's all about how knowing made his life miserable. Your desire of knowing and probing her past is an indication you're a controlling man. 2
stillafool Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Because from day 1 I've had a gut feeling that she's been lying about her past. I'm not sure if she was a porn star or a hooker or what, but there's something big in her past that she's hiding. I can just feel it by the way she always acts so dodgy when we talk about it. None of her stories seem right, she's got huge gaps in her story, she "can't remember" a lot of stuff that a person would never actually forget, like people she lived with, places she lived etc. it just doesn't add up. I am starting to think she has some serious skeletons in the closet, and I'm not going to get seriously involved with someone who may have been a hooker or porn star. That's where I draw the line. That's why I'm obsessed with her past. Because I know she's hiding something gnarly. If you really feel this way break up and move on. Sooner or later she's going to leave you anyway because she isn't going to continue laying under your microscope; so save both of you time and pain and break up now. I wouldn't be able to handle your insecurity. You knew this woman had a tainted past when you got with her so accept it or move on. 1
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 What does your therapist say about these interrogations of your gf re her sexual past and your apparent inability to get over it? 1
Hopeful30 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 If she cant offer honesty then why are you still offering your heart? 1
veggirl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Is all that stuff about her being an escort, cheating, bi-polar, herpes, bpd etc true? if so why are you with her??? She sounds like a NIGHTMARE! I did think it's weird how you need to know all about her sexual past when I began the thread but after reading THAT, I'd be paranoid too!
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