KirstyB93 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Hi all I am Kirsty and new. I am in need of some nice advice. I have recently split from who I honestly though was ''the one''I know cliché and unrealistic but still I loved him dearly, we were only together a year but we fell hard. He was the first boyfriend to ever treat me how I feel a lady should be treated and I was his first serious girlfriend. He adored me, always talked about our future and supported me in every way he could. He tended to all my needs, cooking me meals and would surprise me with flowers. I also supported him in every way too, we would cook dinner together, do everything together - we were like best friends with a lot of things in common (it was scary) However his bad points were he was obsessed with they way he looked in fact he was ill with it. He was obsessed with the gym, always rushing around doing things, spending time with his mates. he also had a lot of debt, was in and out of jobs and never wanted to spend time at my house, but I still supported him and went along with his lifestyle until I started to get fed up of course. Things soon started to change; he encouraged me to apply for a full time job in his area, to move in with him and his family. I was sceptical though, since I have lived with previous ex's too soon in the relationship. They all ended badly so I wanted to do this the relations the ''right way'', but he was so excited I didn't want to let him down. I got the job on the day of the interview and left my home within two days, I was in shock and scared about the move. He knew about this but I put on a brave face for the family. As the week started we were both very tired from our long shifts and our honey moon relationship turned into a marriage. No quality time was spent together, no hugs or kisses and no sex, he was always at the gym, cooking or sat on the laptop so as you can guess I felt neglected amongst my own stresses. I tried reaching out to him and being affectionate but I honestly felt like I didn't know him any more. We had similar issues earlier on in the relationship but they were resolved. This eventually resulted in an argument and we split. The split wasn't clean, I was angry and demanded that he collected his things . He tried the whole I want to be friends, its your fault and eventually came over and cried his heart out to me. We tried talking but he was set on us breaking up. I just wanted us to have a talk. (I know I pushed the break up) for the next few days he started playing mind games. One minute he wanted me back, next minute he didn't. He left me a note in my belongings saying: 'I will always love you and miss you, smile lots'' this really upset me to which I sent a long message and again he wanted to try and fix the situation. we started to talk properly but the next day I received the final text. (Along the lines of this) I'm so sorry I can't do this, I can't keep hurting you. You deserve more and someone who can give you what you want. You are beautiful and talented I will always love you and miss you. Thank you for the best year of my life but I am too depressed to fix this. This is the last you'll here of me'' This cut me deep, I didn't reply and I haven't since. I'm so confused and full of mixed emotions, how can we go from so strong to going our separate ways? I honestly want him back but what can I do? He knows how I feel I left the ball in his court and no I didn't beg or chase, I just told him that I'm willing to work on our problems. Sorry this is so long and confusing, I couldn't fit everything in but any advice would be appreciated. What did his text really mean? Will he come back? Is he worth settling for if he does? What are your guys thoughts? Kirsty
hotmrw Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Hi Kirsty, I will give you my humble opinion for what it is worth, I am not sure how long you two have been split but I would give it a few weeks minimal to let the waters steady and emotions of your individual roller coasters to calm down, from what I have read I would swallow that silly thing called pride ( if it is this that is stopping you contacting him ) and just ask how he is, there is nothing wrong with this in my opinion, he might be feeling the same but stuck behind his pride maybe what have you got to lose? what have you got to gain? GO FOR IT x I try to help others as my situation is so far gone and so so sad God bless, Darren.
Author KirstyB93 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 Thank you Darren. It's only been less than a week so it's still very raw and from what I have heard he's angry and blaming me. I'm not sure if talking will help at the moment but the question is how much space? I miss him so much. Kirsty
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