Boyfriend's selective communication makes me feel unimportant

[beach_girl]

Hi guys. If you only see your boyfriend over weekends, is it unreasonable to expect replies to your texts during the week? He seems to read his texts but chooses not to reply, which makes me feel unimportant to him. It's not like I bombard him with texts - just a simple 'how was your day' and texts when I see something that reminded of him. I'm really not the type of girlfriend that occupies all of my man's free time when it comes to texting. How do I discuss this situation when I see him tomorrow?

 

E.g. I asked how he is doing on Tuesday and still got no reply. This doesn't exactly make me want to reply to any of his texts when he does indeed text, because I just know that the conversation won't last and that he won't make the effort to reply to those texts, I'd rather not go through that rejection every time.

 

I know he's still interested because he invites me over every weekend (not for sex) and treats me like gold when I'm with him. But how do we get past this hurdle in our relationship?? How do I address the issue and make my needs known without sounding nagging, clingy and needy?

 

Your help is much appreciated.

[Redhead14]

Hi guys. If you only see your boyfriend over weekends, is it unreasonable to expect replies to your texts during the week? He seems to read his texts but chooses not to reply, which makes me feel unimportant to him. It's not like I bombard him with texts - just a simple 'how was your day' and texts when I see something that reminded of him. I'm really not the type of girlfriend that occupies all of my man's free time when it comes to texting. How do I discuss this situation when I see him tomorrow?

 

E.g. I asked how he is doing on Tuesday and still got no reply. This doesn't exactly make me want to reply to any of his texts when he does indeed text, because I just know that the conversation won't last and that he won't make the effort to reply to those texts, I'd rather not go through that rejection every time.

 

I know he's still interested because he invites me over every weekend (not for sex) and treats me like gold when I'm with him. But how do we get past this hurdle in our relationship?? How do I address the issue and make my needs known without sounding nagging, clingy and needy?

 

Your help is much appreciated.

 

You make your needs known by doing it in a supportive, non-critical way. "you know, ___, I feel unimportant when I don't get a reply to my texts". Don't lead with "you never answer", I hate it when you __".

 

And, he invites you every weekend and you say "not for sex". Does that mean you don't actually have sex? Or does that mean you do have sex but you didn't think that's why he invited you?

[Lansing]

Maybe have a general conversation with him about it or maybe instead give him a call mid week to have a chat on the phone?

 

 

I guess some people aren't into texting that much and would rather just meet in person to catch up then talk via text.

[kendahke]

Hi guys. If you only see your boyfriend over weekends, is it unreasonable to expect replies to your texts during the week? He seems to read his texts but chooses not to reply, which makes me feel unimportant to him. It's not like I bombard him with texts - just a simple 'how was your day' and texts when I see something that reminded of him. I'm really not the type of girlfriend that occupies all of my man's free time when it comes to texting. How do I discuss this situation when I see him tomorrow?

 

E.g. I asked how he is doing on Tuesday and still got no reply. This doesn't exactly make me want to reply to any of his texts when he does indeed text, because I just know that the conversation won't last and that he won't make the effort to reply to those texts, I'd rather not go through that rejection every time.

 

I know he's still interested because he invites me over every weekend (not for sex) and treats me like gold when I'm with him. But how do we get past this hurdle in our relationship?? How do I address the issue and make my needs known without sounding nagging, clingy and needy?

 

Your help is much appreciated.

 

Call instead of texting and see what happens.

 

Some people just don't like texting. I'm one of those people. Just dial the number and talk. The only person I text with is my daughter because she doesn't like talking on the phone and it's easier to reach her via text. She'll check for those.

[LoveRefreshed]

A lot of the times I get a text, it's in a terrible timing situation (I'm driving, talking to someone, etc..) rarely do they come when I'm sittin around watchin tv or taking a duke.

 

Then I forget about them later on and by the time I get free, they've completely escaped my radar. Try calling him, and asking if there is a good time to call him. Like right when he gets home from work, or at like 9 pm after he's had dinner, or right before he'd normally go to bed.

 

Ask him to call you once during the week, I don't know. Seems strange that he doesn't answer at all, I mean my gf's texts, I make it a point to respond to.

[darkmoon]

texts are a drag, a real pain to use for an entire convo, imo

[Gaeta]

 

Then I forget about them later on and by the time I get free, they've completely escaped my radar.

 

When I like a man there is NO way his text to me will escape my radar. It's possible it's a bad time for me to reply and I will wait later and if I get really really busy I will reply once in bed.

 

OP how do you know it's not all about sex? Your situation sounds like you're a weekend gf cause it's convenient to him and it beats being alone.

[Gaeta]

texts are a drag, a real pain to use for an entire convo, imo

 

Like she said it's not about having a conversation it's about exchanging a few words then go back to what ever life they have.

 

 

 

 

ETA: OP did he take his profile down?

Edited July 10, 2015 by Gaeta