wasfavoritecolor Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 My boyfriend of almost 2 years, my first love, broke up with me about a month ago. He actually tried to do it like a month and a half ago (due to him feeling as though he had lost his confidence), but I convinced him to give it another shot. He dumped me over email 1.5 weeks later. We had the most perfect relationship ever for the first year and a half, but graduation and senior year stresses really played a large role in making me irritable (I think I may have developed some anxiety issues this semester that played a role in this) and him feel less confident. After he broke up with me over email, I gave him complete space for three weeks. I then shot him an email earlier this week just asking to see how he was doing and to tell him that I was seeing someone (which was a really hard step for me as my family does not really value therapy) to build up my confidence and stuff. He responded two days later and was polite; he shared information about his family and a bit about him over the last month. I am so hopeful for a reconciliation/possible getting back together. We are perfectly suited for one another, want the same things in life, and care so much for one another. I just think we may have gotten too close (in terms of school work and spending time with one another) the last few months, and I understand his desire for space. But I really think it could work. The one thing that I found a little weird in his email was this sentence: "I know lots of things take different amounts of time, so it is not a problem at all to email me out of the blue." I'm guessing he's talking about getting over him, but I guess I'm holding out hope that he's just being vague (as he was about his reasons for breaking up with me) and doesn't actually know what he wants at this point. If I should continue emailing him, how long do you think I should wait before I do? I'm thinking that if anything is going to happen, eventually I have to transition to texting since it's slightly more dynamic a kind of communication, but should I hold off for now and wait a bit more before doing that? He wrote a lot of "I hope you..." etc. but didn't really ask questions back, too...is that just him trying to play coy for now?
Ariess10 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 How come everyone thinks their relationship was so perfect? Look it wasn't or you would be together ..
Author wasfavoritecolor Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 I understand that there were stressors that put a lot of strain on our relationship towards the end, but for that first 1.5 years, we did not argue or disagree. We had been friends for over a year prior to dating, and we were living in the same building, so we spent a great deal of time with one another. I don't think there are conditions better than this, and thus, I think we did have a perfect relationship during that time.
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 You mentioned the stressors of senior year. The one you are overlooking is that high school (or college) is over & that you are onto a new phase in your life. Many relationships do not survive that transition. Yours didn't. Do not continue to e-mail nor play coy. Forget him. Focus on yourself & your healing. It's OK to grieve the loss of this relationship. It's not OK to delude yourself into thinking it was perfect. If it had been perfect you would not be broken up now. So you have to work on letting go.
RJays7 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 I would say you need to sit down and have a real conversation, not email or text. It is so much different when you talk face to face and it is way more meaningful. Don't play games, just tell him how you feel about him and let him respond. He will respect you so much more if you are upfront with him instead of beating around the bush. Good luch sharing your heart! RJays7
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