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asking for a date online. when is it to soon


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Posted

when is it to soon to ask a girl on a date on a dating site?

 

i think the second or 3rd message is the right time

 

i feel like waiting and talking online gives false hope

i like to send a introduction, ask a question then say something like

 

"how about we grab some coffee after work this week"

 

does that sound legit?

 

or to early?

Posted

Ask for a phone number after 3-5 messages. Ask for a meeting on the phone.

Posted

nickprior, your thinking is correct. The second or third message is a good point. This has been the same approach I follow, and it's mostly fine. Once in a while I'll come across someone who "wants to get to know me" online first. I don't even bother with these women, since IME any relationship that gets developed in cyberspace plays out differently than the one that develops in person anyway (she may also be trying to hide something image wise too).

 

Anyway, I'm ranting now. I don't think you'd message with a woman for weeks or months prior to meeting. Yeah, 2-3 messages is just fine. I give them my number (I never ask for theirs) and tell them to text me to set up a date. Once I hear from them, I banter a little playfully for a minute and then propose a date. Bam.

Posted

Sounds good to me.

Posted

You ask as soon as there is mutual interest. She probably won't respond to your first message unless she is interested. So yes, ask early.

Posted

After at least two days of messages, ask for the number.

Posted (edited)
when is it to soon to ask a girl on a date on a dating site?

 

i think the second or 3rd message is the right time

 

i feel like waiting and talking online gives false hope

i like to send a introduction, ask a question then say something like

 

"how about we grab some coffee after work this week"

 

does that sound legit?

 

or to early?

 

I think that's spot on... but don't ask for a date until after the first meeting.

 

The earlier you meet them, the better. Keeps you from building and investing feelings into false constructs of who you think they are. Meeting them early will let you know if there truly is chemistry, not some manufactured feeling that have no basis in reality.

 

I just had a first meeting with a guy on Wednesday. Bought my own tea and chatted with him for about 3 hours. For me, there is no chemistry. I'm not attracted to him. He's a nice guy and all, but not my type. I would not go on a date with him because I don't want him spending money on me thinking that my being there meant that he had a shot with me.

Edited by kendahke
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