What's wrong with me?

[confused000]

I am dating the most incredible woman. Or so I thought anyway. I always thought I loved her, I always thought she was the one, I even gave up things I love for her. However, in the last couple of months I have seen a side of her I can't say that I like. She yells at me for no apparent reason, and when asked why she's angry with me, she only gets madder and tells me she's not. When I want to tell her how I feel, she gets mad and acts like it doesn't matter what I have to say. She constantly tells me I'm weird, whatever I do isn't good enough for her, she wants to have sex (at first I wasn't sure it was the right time, but was thinking about it)and when I say okay, she quickly changes her mind. I have a lot of flaws and when they come out, she gets unhappy that I can't do whatever the way she wants and shows her frustration. When she asks what I want to do, or where I'd like to eat, I give my suggestion and she barks that we're doing something different, or eating elsewhere. The part that saddens me the most. I don't have the best job, or make millions of dollars, but when I offer to pay for things (I do almost all the time)she tells me that I can't because I'm poor, and yet when she needs something at some random time, even for her job, she expects me to go out and buy them. What's wrong with me? I probably should have left her, but I can't. She's going out of town soon and for some dumb reason, I'm hoping she calls and tells me she's met someone else and ends it. What's wrong with me? Why do I stick around for the belittling, yelling and feeling I'm not good enough? Perhaps I'm too nice and nice guys get belittled and finish last.

[TaraMaiden2]

She's an abusive, controlling bully.

 

Now here's the crunch.

Do you stay, permit the situation to escalate, until you become nothing but a spineless doormat with no opinions of your own and no permission to state them anyway,

 

or -

 

Do you decide to leave now, because you know that ultimately if you stay, this will destroy you, so you go now and salvage whatever dignity, self-respect and integrity you have?

 

My, that's a hard one.

[davidromero43]

It sucks for sure.

[mg101]

She gets off on abusing you. Each time she's seeing how much more she can get away with. You're her punching bag.

 

Please leave now. I rarely advice people to end relationships, but you definitely need to. It will only get worse until she's beat you down emotionally to a pulp then she'll leave. You deserve something better and you really need to learn to stand up for yourself as well going forward in any other relationship.

But this relationship - tie a cement block to it and toss over the Hudson.

[Redhead14]

I am dating the most incredible woman. Or so I thought anyway. I always thought I loved her, I always thought she was the one, I even gave up things I love for her. However, in the last couple of months I have seen a side of her I can't say that I like. She yells at me for no apparent reason, and when asked why she's angry with me, she only gets madder and tells me she's not. When I want to tell her how I feel, she gets mad and acts like it doesn't matter what I have to say. She constantly tells me I'm weird, whatever I do isn't good enough for her, she wants to have sex (at first I wasn't sure it was the right time, but was thinking about it)and when I say okay, she quickly changes her mind. I have a lot of flaws and when they come out, she gets unhappy that I can't do whatever the way she wants and shows her frustration. When she asks what I want to do, or where I'd like to eat, I give my suggestion and she barks that we're doing something different, or eating elsewhere. The part that saddens me the most. I don't have the best job, or make millions of dollars, but when I offer to pay for things (I do almost all the time)she tells me that I can't because I'm poor, and yet when she needs something at some random time, even for her job, she expects me to go out and buy them. What's wrong with me? I probably should have left her, but I can't. She's going out of town soon and for some dumb reason, I'm hoping she calls and tells me she's met someone else and ends it. What's wrong with me? Why do I stick around for the belittling, yelling and feeling I'm not good enough? Perhaps I'm too nice and nice guys get belittled and finish last.

 

She has begun to show you who she really is. In the beginnning of a new dating scenario, people are trying to put a better version of themselves out there, a facade. But they can't maintain it for too long. Eventually their ability to mask and squash their natural tendencies breaks down. The other person in the relationship thinks that they are changing, when in fact, they are simply reverting to the real them.

 

This is when the honeymoon period starts to end. They weren't being themselves to start with.

 

Couples who say their honeymoon period never ended, are the couples who were being themselves from the very beginning. Now you need to evaluate if this "new" person is right for you or not.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Redhead14

[empresario]

There could be a lot of reasons for this.

 

 

It could be she did something she's guilty about and is coping with it by trying to make you seem like as big of a piece of crap as she is.

 

 

Or, maybe she has self esteem issues and needs to feel like she's better by trashing you.

 

 

Perhaps she's just a controlling, abusive dick.

 

 

No matter which it is...let me be clear. This is NOT the person with whom you fell in love. And this is only a taste of what you're going to get if you stay in it. Abuse happens male to female and female to male. Find someone safe, tell them the whole story, and try to get out.

[preraph]

To me, she sounds frustrated that you aren't who she hoped you'd be and is lashing out unfairly. It's not a good relationship. You should just move on to another person.

[sandylee1]

End this relationship now.

You don't need her mean and horrible behaviour

 

Let her go and find someone who will tolerate her nonsense.

[fred123]

what about the obvious? she just isn't into you! cmon if a girl was into you you think she would be acting like this? girls???

[Candygirljane]

I'm sorry op. It seems like she's a bich and she doesn't deserve ur love :/ Just move on

[Satu]

She's abusive and a very toxic person.

 

Get away from her as fast as you can.

 

 

30 sings of emotional abuse.

 

 

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

4. They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

7. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

8. They try to control the finances and how you spend money.

9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.

10. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.

11. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.

12. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.

13. They accuse or blame you of things you know aren’t true.

14. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.

15. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.

16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.

17. The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.

18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

19. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.

20. They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.

21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

22. They don’t show you empathy or compassion.

23. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

24. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.

25. They don’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.

26. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.

27. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.

28. They share personal information about you with others.

29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.

 

Source here.

[Fleur de cactus]

Sorry you are here. your gf is abusive. The good thing about dating and taking time to know other, not rushing into marriage or engagement, is to have time to know what you did not know before. Nothing is wrong about you. You are very lucky to know her behavior before you have children. She is not good for you, let her go. Move on and you will find a girl who loves you, and respect you for who you are. End this relationship before she does. Because eventually she is not happy with you, and one day she will leave you. Good luck.