k8266 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 If a girl says to you on the first date, after it ends. That she has another date lined up with another guy in a few days. Is it OK to say that's fine I'm dating other women also? I did even though I'm not, and am somewhat regretting it. Should I tell her that what I said was wrong? Any answers thank's
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Not true. Your brain works quickly, but there's always a reason. Think: Honestly. Put yourself back there. Now remember. Why did you say it?
Toodaloo Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Why did you say it? I would hazard a guess it was because her saying that was like having a kick in the balls and he wanted to appear to be cool and relaxed about it even if he is keen... My suggestion is that if you are keen you arrange another date with her and when you are on that date you tell her that actually you have been thinking and so you want to cancel your other dates so that you can concentrate on her for a bit and that you would like her to do the same... 1
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Just line up a date with another woman to make the statement true. If you like the 1st woman, ask her out again. If you like her enough after several dates ask her if she'd consider becoming exclusive. At least she's being forthright & telling you where you stand rather than letting you assume you are the only one. Personally until told otherwise, you are safer assuming the other person is multidating, especially off OLD. 3
Redhead14 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 (edited) If a girl says to you on the first date, after it ends. That she has another date lined up with another guy in a few days. Is it OK to say that's fine I'm dating other women also? I did even though I'm not, and am somewhat regretting it. Should I tell her that what I said was wrong? Any answers thank's You're lying to manipulate the situation. You want her to get all scared that you're going to choose someone else and get all clingy? That may be what shes trying to do with you. No you don't tell her anything now. You'll be pointing out to her that you're a liar already. She told you she was dating other people. You say fine Period. It's really none of her business right now whether your dating other people or not. If she wants to clue you in on her business fine. Edited July 10, 2015 by Redhead14
Author k8266 Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 Thanks for all the responses. There all good. I put myself back in the moment. We had just left a Rolling Stones concert in Detroit. I know not the best first date because it was so loud we couldn't talk. But they were awesome and she had a good time. So it was about 12:30am and she had met me downtown. I was in the process of negotiating through 38,000 fans walking, driving, around police barricaded streets. Trying to get back to the garage. I don't drink. But my ears were ringing and my concentration elsewhere. So she caught me off guard my focus and concentration wasn't there.
LoveRefreshed Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Typically at that point, I lose interest. I'm not in the business of trying so hard to keep a girls attention. Surprisingly, this natural response sometimes works for me and the girl will show more interest in me. Haha. 2
xcupid Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 You messed up. Don't worry about it. There's no need to explain yourself to her. Go on a date with another girl. And if you like this first girl then ask her out again.
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 "I have another date lined up" means: I'm not that into you.
kgcolonel Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 I think that the timing of her comment is interesting in that it was after an expensive concert, not in the discussions leading up to the concert. OP may have felt disrespected as she did not need to disclose this detail. Unless there was a sense of over engagement on his part, it sounds as if she got a great concert and that's what she was the extent of her interest.
Author k8266 Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 A couple of things, She was married 18 years with two grown kids. And recently out of another 3 year relationship. She has said that she still cared for the guy. I wished her well walked away. She first approached me on Facebook through a mutual friend last May. There were two other occasions where I had made plans to meet up for a dinner only to have her flake and cancel. Not a last min thing. Each time I stopped all communication. And she came back twice by private messaging me on FB. The last time I walked away and she contacted me the 21st day.The phone calls picked up. Especially over last few weeks. She did seem like she wanted to date. We had good conversations on the phone. Probably since May she knew I had the stones tickets. Would a woman really friend you for so long, come back after I broke off conversation several times. Just to see a concert?
Peachland Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 I think the timing of her comment and overall flakiness is suspect. Why not let you know in the days leading up to the date? You can follow up with her but don't expect much.
katiegrl Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 (edited) Why did you feel it appropriate to lie to her? Why did SHE feel it appropriate to say she has another date? Why do women do this? To elicit jealousy? So he starts chasing her? Appear more attractive to him? Or did she say it to discourage him? I honestly don't understand why women feel it necessary to arbitrarily offer up this information. It's not like he asked. She just offered it up. Other than game playing. Who knows, SHE was probably lying too! Edited July 11, 2015 by katiegrl
ScotchBeef Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 It reminds me of a job interiew I had once. The interviewer had a screen on display in the office which was "accidently" displaying the names of the other 4 candidates who were applying and the fact that there was only 1 position. I found out months later that it was some weird interiew technique to apparently put pressure on the interviewe in a subtle way. Perhaps its some twisted way of having you "up your game", or maybe she just felt it better to be honest about it.
Author k8266 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 So what actually happened is this past Monday she sent me a text saying that a city street fair was this weekend. Indicating that she wanted to know if I wanted to be there with her. Then we saw the concert this past Wed. So giving her a ride back to her car after the concert I was bringing up her text and asked her what are you doing Saturday. This is when she said I have a date that was scheduled a long time ago. A boaters regatta party.
Author k8266 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 And here's another thing. At the concert she took 100's of photos that she posted on her facebook profile. So she said n/p grab whichever ones you want. That night early Thursday morning got home and check messages at 2am and there they were. I was too tired to d/l them and figured I would d/l them yesterday (Thursday) after I slept. So I thought that was strange and figured out that she had put me on certain restriction on her FB settings. So I sent her a text she denied it around noon. So we have a mutual friend and I ask him to go to her profile and he says yes there everywhere. So later that night I send her a text saying whats the deal why are you restricting me from seeing the photos from our concert last night. Again she denied it. So today she sends me a text PM on facebook saying yes I am on restriction now. I want photos because first of all this is the Rolling Stones there not going to be around much longer. Plus memories etc. I want some pictures. What is this broads deal? Now were not talking after she blew up my telephone with messages and texts over the last 8 weeks or so. I guess I will have to IGNORE her again. But she always comes back.
katiegrl Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 So what actually happened is this past Monday she sent me a text saying that a city street fair was this weekend. Indicating that she wanted to know if I wanted to be there with her. Then we saw the concert this past Wed. So giving her a ride back to her car after the concert I was bringing up her text and asked her what are you doing Saturday. This is when she said I have a date that was scheduled a long time ago. A boaters regatta party. I see....well then her telling you was perfectly appropriate. Your response however was not.
ScotchBeef Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 in the context, it sounds more legitimate. Maybe she really did just think it was better to be honest and upfront about it. Just hope she didn't see through your lie, it'll have made you look petty. No offense.
ScotchBeef Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Also, if you wanted photographs of the concert, why didn't you take any?
Author k8266 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 Just had a crappy camera phone thats all.
Author k8266 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 Thank you for all responses. I think I will just delete her from everything and move on once again.
Toodaloo Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Probably since May she knew I had the stones tickets. Would a woman really friend you for so long, come back after I broke off conversation several times. Just to see a concert? If it were the Stones I would bite your arm off... Sorry hon. Find someone else more worth your time. You can always take me if you like... I don't mind driving!
fred123 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 If it were the Stones I would bite your arm off... Sorry hon. Find someone else more worth your time. You can always take me if you like... I don't mind driving! haha even toodaloo would be using you for your tickets!! women hey lol
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