AnotherSadSong Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 I am not suggesting that one is easier to get over than the other, but I feel a little anxious tonight having someone around for so many years and it just abruptly ended in the worst way. Do you think the length matters in relation to how long you get completely over it? Mine was 4 years. My stomach hurts tonight and I feel a little set back. I am going to go to sleep to forget about it and I want the over thinking, the thinking back, and the memories to go away STAT.
blue963 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Of course the longer it goes on, the more you get used to having that person in your life.
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 Of course the longer it goes on, the more you get used to having that person in your life. Yes, I have to get used to I will never be seeing this person again. He didn't treat me well at the end and neither did I, but it is still difficult. It was a sudden rush of panic feeling. This will pass I am sure. Sleep will help.
lovinDKT3 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 I think it's more about the connection. Just being in a LTA it doesn't mean there is a strong bond. While a short one can be very intense. Mine was just shy of two years and it was never a passion filled sexually charged thing, it was more of a FWB thing with very little benefits. There are other examples here were they are willing to walk away from marriages after a few weeks. 1
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 I think it's more about the connection. Just being in a LTA it doesn't mean there is a strong bond. While a short one can be very intense. Mine was just shy of two years and it was never a passion filled sexually charged thing, it was more of a FWB thing with very little benefits. There are other examples here were they are willing to walk away from marriages after a few weeks. I believe I am overthinking because I have blocked so much out immediately. I will go back to doing that. I thought we had a bond but apparently we did not according to him and what he said at the end. I need to keep that on the front burner in thought and keep moving on. 1
still_an_Angel Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 One would assume a LTA has stronger bonds, but I think it really depends on how the bonds were built over the years and the individuals involved in the A. I wouldn't discount a short-term A because each of us bond differently. It would cut both ways.
Nolagirl1214 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 How long does an affair have to be to be considered "long term"? I'm 6 months deep in mine. I don't think it's a super intense bond, but we do have a strong attraction/need to be around each other.
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 How long does an affair have to be to be considered "long term"? I'm 6 months deep in mine. I don't think it's a super intense bond, but we do have a strong attraction/need to be around each other. Probably would be considered long term. I have changed my thinking that for most affairs regardless of length, in the end they mean nothing so the time span is refutatively meaningless. 1
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