norudder Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Maybe he could find an anxiety support group in the area and get to know some people (perhaps women) there who he will be comfortable and in his element with.
preraph Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 The social anxiety is by far the thing that will keep him from being successful with women. If he really does have that, rosacea is just his excuse to not put himself out there. I worked with a guy with a huge red mark visible at all times and he always had a girlfriend. He also had spina bifida, but that wasn't readily apparent. Listen, none of my men were too proud to wear makeup if it would enhance their love life. If this was a woman, she'd simply go to Sephora and buy Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer, the green colored one, to help neutralize redness. Then she'd get Makeup Forever Full Cover Camouflage Creme (after asking a clerk to test her for the perfect color, which is a free service). Then he'd follow it with a Sephora Brand Perfection Mist Airbrush Foundation (finding a color in between your natural neck color and your red face color AFTER you have the concealer on so it blends -- you don't want to buy ruddy foundation that matches your rosacea, but it must blend). The spray foundation is very light. But you can add more coverage where needed and all this stuff stays on all day or night looking fresh. He'll also need to buy, preferably, just two makeup brushes, one for the foundation (ask them the type) which will be medium size brush to daub it on and then a big fluffy brush to gently run over the entire face to blend the edges of the makeup -- and a bottle of brush cleaner. Have the makeup artists show him how to apply everything. If this really bothers him, he should use cosmetics. Lots of urban men use bronzers and stuff like that, so why not some color-correcting cosmetics? 2
katiegrl Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Maybe he could find an anxiety support group in the area and get to know some people (perhaps women) there who he will be comfortable and in his element with. I am thinking maybe he should find a good dermatologist to treat the roasca. If his roasca cleared up, I have a feeling his social anxiety would as well. Meaning his social anxiety stems from feeling insecure about his roasca..... doesn't wish to be around people because of it....feels self-conscious ..... like people are negatively judging him because of it = social anxiety. 2
lollipopspot Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Lots of urban men use bronzers and stuff like that, so why not some color-correcting cosmetics? True - there's a market for it - MENS Makeup - Men's cosmetics - Corrective makeup for men - Correctors for men - Kenmen
ascendotum Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 The roseacea isn't his problem, the social anxiety is. I'd say the two go together. I've seen some bad cases of roseacea and also just mild cases. Compared to a few cases of bad roseacea I have seen on women, having a slightly bigger nose does not come close to the negative impact it had on attraction. I doubt it would be too much different when it comes to women finding it a bit off putting on a man, and it depends as well on how attractive the person's features are to offset it. If this guy had a mild case of social anxiety to begin with when he was young, I have no doubt that having the roseacea just compounded it. By having the social anxiety he is avoiding situations so is making it harder for himself to find someone, but I'm sure its increased over the years as it seems no woman has taken any interest in him. Maybe now he is older an older woman wont care so much if she is looking for a nice caring guy now, but when he was hoping to have gf when younger the combination of roseacea + social anxiety would have made it tough. I think he is being a bit foolish refusing to give any anti-anxiety meds a go after so many years of dealing with it naturally/unsuccessfully. I would have followed up all possible treatments & diets & makeup options for it. 1
DaisyBug Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 The makeup idea is a good one. I forgot that my ex used makeup a few times for special occasions for his mild rosacea. He put it on so well you couldn't tell he was wearing it. I wish I knew the brand (probably not cheap) because it looked very natural.
TheBathWater Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 He is very leary about anxiety meds. He hashheard to much about the side effects. He is thinking cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy teaches coping techniques and skills, but does not address nor process the root cause of people's symptoms. As a result, many people who undergo cognitive therapies experience either short-term change only, or no change at all but are simply combating themselves on an ongoing basis. Cognitive therapies (CBT, DBT, ACT) can be helpful, and are quite popular with insurance companies since they are short-term, but these really don't do much for people long-term according to the research. Depending on how deep he is willing to go, suggest to him that he try psychodynamic psychotherapy. If you want to see the long-term promise of such a therapy, just google a metaanalytic review study done by John Shedler in 2010.
jchao617 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Shoot. I would. I too have rosacea on my face. Red cheek is the worst feeling, been having it for so long, and trying to cover it with make up when i go to school, and on dates with guys. I'm surprised, nobody has made fun of me since I had the rosacea, not even my college classmate. I've been reading forums, that I feel bad for younger generation kids, the kids will be making fun of these people who has rosacea at school. But the hardest thing to deal with is to deal the guy that you're dating with, saying "I have rosacea, and hopefully he won't run away to another girl". I have a very dear friend who is one of the nicest, kindest, gentlest people I know. He has a heart of gold and is a handsome man, however he doesn't think any woman could love him because he has a severe case of rosacea which makes his face look extremely red. He also has social anxiety issues which cause him to remove himself from situations that make him uncomfortable. He is a very hard worker and his job calls for him to be out in the hot Cali sun which aggravates the rosacea. He has tried different creams, lotions, ointments and various other things, but nothing seems to help and as a result he has fallen in to the belief that he will never have a relationship. He said, No woman could ever love him with the way he looks. It breaks my heart for him because he is a great guy. I have known him for twenty one years and he is like I said one of the most nicest people I have ever met. He is only fourth seven years old and his hopes and dreams have almost faded of ever having a someone to love and share his life with. He has shared with me that he would like to meet that special woman and someday get married. I keep telling him that there is a woman out there for him and when they find each other she will see past all the things that he sees as negative and she will see deep into his heart and see the good in him. What do you think? Do you agree with me that there is a woman out there some where that would see past the rosacea and could love him for who he is or is he doomed to be lonely for the rest of his life?
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