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Should I tell him I miscarried three years ago?


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Posted

My ex and I were together 8 years off and on. When he got back from being away for the year I fell pregnant. However I suffered an ectopic pregnancy and was in hospital a lot. He was with me but didn't know what was going on I told him it was something else. I didn't want to tell him the truth because we were having problems at the time and didn't trust me, was always accusing me of being with his friend when I wasn't and I couldn't handle any extra stress. It's three years this weekend and I feel bad that he doesn't know I lost his baby. We are on talking terms now and still talk but we both know there will be no reconciliation. Should I tell him the truth or keep this secret to myself?

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Posted

I know I should but I didn't. He's not the most pleasant person when he gets angry and I didn't need the stress. He would have accused me of getting pregnant with he's mates baby. He always said he wanted dna testing done if I got pregnant.

 

He had a right to know and I'm sorry I didn't tell him. Is it too late to tell him now?

Posted

Ask yourself, sincerely and deep down - why are you even thinking of telling him now....?

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Posted
I know I should but I didn't. He's not the most pleasant person when he gets angry and I didn't need the stress. He would have accused me of getting pregnant with he's mates baby. He always said he wanted dna testing done if I got pregnant.

 

He had a right to know and I'm sorry I didn't tell him. Is it too late to tell him now?

 

The "right to know" (which, I'm not sure why it's a "right" - it's your body) is mediated by the potential severity of the reaction, especially if you were in the hospital and recovering from a miscarriage. If I'm under a lot of stress, as a rule I don't add to it unnecessarily.

 

We are on talking terms now and still talk but we both know there will be no reconciliation.

 

What would be the point of telling him since you aren't partners now anyway?

Posted

What would be the point of stirring him up now? There would be no point. If you were going to do it, then would have been the time. But if he does off the rails and is a suspicious paranoid jealous crazy person, then I wouldn't have told him either. I assume you knew best at the time. You're broken up. Stay that way, and move forward.

Posted

If you want to create some drama, tell him.

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