oldshirt Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 You are not cheating in my book since you have declared the marriage over, informed her you would be dating others and you two have been living separate lives waiting for the divorce to be finalized. All that is taking place now is waiting for the paperwork to catch up. 1
Tayla Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 The courts and laws determine this parameter. Judges and lawyers seem to understand what constitutes that class of scenario .
m.snow Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 probably not cheating, since you were truthful about it. and marriage is already being dissolved. but do you have any children together? since you already have it planned out with the pre-nup and situation seems to be in your favor, just don't leave ex destitute.
Author notmel Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 I am not sure how to link to my older threads which are four years old but they are still there and make for an interesting read and probably explain a little more clearly why I find myself at the cusp of a legal divorce after 10 years of marriage. If anyone is interested it only takes a click on my handle to call up any posts I have made here. For those who think that I was hard callous mean spirited or it was an easy choice to ask the woman I loved and still have strong feelings for to leave well you are just wrong. In the end you just lose hope that it can or will ever get better you struggle you dream you scheme you beg you plead you give you cry you forgive over and over you pray but then you reach the point where all that lies ahead is dispare . 1
sandylee1 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I am not sure how to link to my older threads which are four years old but they are still there and make for an interesting read and probably explain a little more clearly why I find myself at the cusp of a legal divorce after 10 years of marriage. If anyone is interested it only takes a click on my handle to call up any posts I have made here. For those who think that I was hard callous mean spirited or it was an easy choice to ask the woman I loved and still have strong feelings for to leave well you are just wrong. In the end you just lose hope that it can or will ever get better you struggle you dream you scheme you beg you plead you give you cry you forgive over and over you pray but then you reach the point where all that lies ahead is dispare . It sounds like she has a lot of issues from her childhood. I read your previous thread. So did she get what she wanted the other night when she knocked on the door?
Author notmel Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 It sounds like she has a lot of issues from her childhood. I read your previous thread. So did she get what she wanted the other night when she knocked on the door? In a word that day no. I had not heard from her in 5 months, but I was surprised that the offer was made and I was surprised that I even considered it and that I still had positive feelings for her . I thought we were done but I did buy her dinner a week later there was some kissing . I immediately broke it off with my gf it was not fair to her and it was not going to end happily ever after there any way. Some issues ...two marriage counsellors have recommended therapy to her, she suffers from anxiety which classically manifests itself in people that had traumatic abusive parents. She suffered abuse and witnessed abuse that no child should ever experience. She is terrified of treatment however because the memories are so painfull. I feel that I keep getting sucked back in.
sandylee1 Posted July 14, 2015 Posted July 14, 2015 In a word that day no. I had not heard from her in 5 months, but I was surprised that the offer was made and I was surprised that I even considered it and that I still had positive feelings for her . I thought we were done but I did buy her dinner a week later there was some kissing . I immediately broke it off with my gf it was not fair to her and it was not going to end happily ever after there any way. Some issues ...two marriage counsellors have recommended therapy to her, she suffers from anxiety which classically manifests itself in people that had traumatic abusive parents. She suffered abuse and witnessed abuse that no child should ever experience. She is terrified of treatment however because the memories are so painfull. I feel that I keep getting sucked back in. I smiled when I read the part about dinner and the kissing . I'm a bit of a romantic at heart. ......what a horrible experience for her as a child. Sometimes these things are with you forever. If only she'd get over the fear of treatment. It's the fact that the whole family of hers is a terrible mess. So has she just gone back to where she was now? Are you still waiting for the required time to file for D? Realistically if she doesn't get treatment, she will continue as she is Sometimes I hear of the terrible abuse some kids went through and it makes me cry. There are some people who should never be parents.
Author notmel Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 I smiled when I read the part about dinner and the kissing . I'm a bit of a romantic at heart. ......what a horrible experience for her as a child. Sometimes these things are with you forever. If only she'd get over the fear of treatment. It's the fact that the whole family of hers is a terrible mess. So has she just gone back to where she was now? Are you still waiting for the required time to file for D? Realistically if she doesn't get treatment, she will continue as she is Sometimes I hear of the terrible abuse some kids went through and it makes me cry. There are some people who should never be parents. I am a complete romantic as well both my sister and my last counsellor who later became a personal friend have informed me that I attract and seek out people who have "issues". Yes I am waiting unti the 12 month separation period has lapsed before I File. I know first hand how difficult it is to change yourself. Even when your life is at stake . Somehow I found the will power to quit a lifelong smoking addiction and then took up distance running and ran a marathon at age 58. It's possible to change your self but not easy, it's impossible to get some one else to change unless they want to and then all you can do is be supportive. Without change my marriage is done . 1
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