What if the [betrayed spouse] tried to get revenge on you? [infidelity-related]

[NewLeaf512]

Have you ever experienced a BW trying to exact revenge against you? If so, how did you handle it?

[NewLeaf512]

I have just read on being sued by BW for alienation of affection. Just another reason not to if the moral issues weren't enough!

[Sassy Girl]

I suppose you get back what you put out in the world.

 

As an OW, I guess if revenge ever came my way id call that 'consequences'.

 

To a point.

[AnotherSadSong]

Alienation of affection usually occurs if the marriage is broken. It may waiver in the states who do have it on the books. O

 

 

They have to prove you were a little feline who knowingly went after a happily married man and were the sole initiator. You cannot sue if your husband goes hot trotting around like he is something special looking for hook ups. If a man is on websites or Craigslist looking for hook ups, it will also be thrown out.

 

 

It is for temptresses and seducers whose main purpose and goal was to zero out your husband and they use long term cunning purposes, trickery, and manipulation.

 

 

Extremely hard to prove, most cases would be refused by attorney or thrown out before they reached a court.

[Arieswoman]

As a BS maybe I shouldn't be in this section, but I'm going to post anyway

 

I got the best revenge ever on my exH's AP - I let her keep him

[RoseVille]

I have just read on being sued by BW for alienation of affection. Just another reason not to if the moral issues weren't enough!

 

It's only (currently) unlawful in Hawaii, Illinois, North Carolina, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah. I'm not sure how common these cases are, but I suspect they're the least common in Hawaii and Illinois. Probably really popular in the south.

[Susmay]

I did try some revenge on the OW, who had an A with my WH. Most of my "revenge" was in the form of "exposure". I figured she was keen enough on my H to visit my home for sex (in my bed no less ), and to send him emails (with photos) wanting "the world to know how they felt about each other", so I helped her along a bit...

 

 

I visited her at her work which obviously caused her to squirm, because the time I went, the other MM with whom she was also having an A was there, and she obviously didn't want him to know. So of course I told him...

 

 

The other BW and I became friendly and were able to publicly expose the OW for whom she was. The OW then lost her job, but not the other MM.

 

 

I sent some of her photos on to her employer and family. They were not pornographic or obscene in the sense of being illegal, but no doubt very embarrassing to her. I never did understand why she sent them to my H, knowing that at the time he and I shared a computer and email address! This was many years ago now when there was no such thing as a smartphone and families just had the one computer, and I was not all that computer savvy.

 

 

I told her adult son, her parents in-law and brother-in-law. They were furious with her, especially as her own BH (who was their father, son and brother respectively) had recently died and she'd been playing the part of "grieving widow" at the same time as she was trying to get both my H and the other MM to leave their families.

 

 

It was amazing to me that the grand love which she'd wanted the world to know about, suddenly was a source of shame and that I was somehow at fault for telling people. She had little sense of responsibility about what she'd done to 3 families. At least my WH accepted responsibility and we are now good.

 

 

Just as infidelity is no longer a criminal offence and rarely a civil misdemeanour, so it is that the sort of exposure I did was not any sort of offence. Maybe if I'd hacked a computer, but I didn't as the computer was mine anyway, or maybe if the photos were "banned" pornography, but they weren't. Fortunately I'm a lawyer and was able to stay on the "legal" side of things.

 

 

I am comfortable with what I did both legally and morally. My (and my children's) world was blown up by my WH's affair and she had significant responsibility for that and made no effort to make amends. She was doing it to another family as well at the same time. I still believe that she played a part in her own H's death. Sometimes I toy with the idea of providing copies of her emails (sent to my H) to the coroner who investigated his death, but as it was a few years ago now, I doubt I will.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Susmay

[changchewsoon]

My ex-girlfriend who cheated on me tried painting me black by bad mouthing me, telling everyone that I was the one who cheated instead of her.

 

Obviously, only a few of her dumb friends bought her story. Ironically, her best friend since childhood did not.

 

How did I handle it? By not giving a sh*t about it and move on with my life. Hadn't looked back ever since.

 

Best decision ever

[MyNameIsNotSusan]

I did try some revenge on the OW, who had an A with my WH. Most of my "revenge" was in the form of "exposure". I figured she was keen enough on my H to visit my home for sex (in my bed no less ), and to send him emails (with photos) wanting "the world to know how they felt about each other", so I helped her along a bit...

 

 

I visited her at her work which obviously caused her to squirm, because the time I went, the other MM with whom she was also having an A was there, and she obviously didn't want him to know. So of course I told him...

 

 

The other BW and I became friendly and were able to publicly expose the OW for whom she was. The OW then lost her job, but not the other MM.

 

 

I sent some of her photos on to her employer and family. They were not pornographic or obscene in the sense of being illegal, but no doubt very embarrassing to her. I never did understand why she sent them to my H, knowing that at the time he and I shared a computer and email address! This was many years ago now when there was no such thing as a smartphone and families just had the one computer, and I was not all that computer savvy.

 

 

I told her adult son, her parents in-law and brother-in-law. They were furious with her, especially as her own BH (who was their father, son and brother respectively) had recently died and she'd been playing the part of "grieving widow" at the same time as she was trying to get both my H and the other MM to leave their families.

 

 

It was amazing to me that the grand love which she'd wanted the world to know about, suddenly was a source of shame and that I was somehow at fault for telling people. She had little sense of responsibility about what she'd done to 3 families. At least my WH accepted responsibility and we are now good.

 

 

Just as infidelity is no longer a criminal offence and rarely a civil misdemeanour, so it is that the sort of exposure I did was not any sort of offence. Maybe if I'd hacked a computer, but I didn't as the computer was mine anyway, or maybe if the photos were "banned" pornography, but they weren't. Fortunately I'm a lawyer and was able to stay on the "legal" side of things.

 

 

I am comfortable with what I did both legally and morally. My (and my children's) world was blown up by my WH's affair and she had significant responsibility for that and made no effort to make amends. She was doing it to another family as well at the same time. I still believe that she played a part in her own H's death. Sometimes I toy with the idea of providing copies of her emails (sent to my H) to the coroner who investigated his death, but as it was a few years ago now, I doubt I will.

 

I'm sorry but as a BW myself, I think you not only embarrassed your husbands OW but also yourself, your husband and your marriage. Ladies please!!! Your husband took a vow not the OW!!! I took issue with my husband even though I was very very tempted to embarrass her at work as well. I do not regret my decision. While you may have gained some satisfaction by doing so, it can never erase what happened. You probably have a lot more class so don't let your emotions get the best of you. Wish you peace and closure. For me it's been a long time since and I still can't stand the OW for the part she played. This OW was only 22 and shrewd, she denied sex until my husband left me, the good little Catholic that she was didn't want to sleep with a man living with his wife. Believe me it took every ounce of restraint not to disgrace her.

Edited July 10, 2015 by MyNameIsNotSusan

[nikki76]

I did try some revenge on the OW, who had an A with my WH. Most of my "revenge" was in the form of "exposure". I figured she was keen enough on my H to visit my home for sex (in my bed no less ), and to send him emails (with photos) wanting "the world to know how they felt about each other", so I helped her along a bit...

 

 

I visited her at her work which obviously caused her to squirm, because the time I went, the other MM with whom she was also having an A was there, and she obviously didn't want him to know. So of course I told him...

 

 

The other BW and I became friendly and were able to publicly expose the OW for whom she was. The OW then lost her job, but not the other MM.

 

 

I sent some of her photos on to her employer and family. They were not pornographic or obscene in the sense of being illegal, but no doubt very embarrassing to her. I never did understand why she sent them to my H, knowing that at the time he and I shared a computer and email address! This was many years ago now when there was no such thing as a smartphone and families just had the one computer, and I was not all that computer savvy.

 

 

I told her adult son, her parents in-law and brother-in-law. They were furious with her, especially as her own BH (who was their father, son and brother respectively) had recently died and she'd been playing the part of "grieving widow" at the same time as she was trying to get both my H and the other MM to leave their families.

 

 

It was amazing to me that the grand love which she'd wanted the world to know about, suddenly was a source of shame and that I was somehow at fault for telling people. She had little sense of responsibility about what she'd done to 3 families. At least my WH accepted responsibility and we are now good.

 

 

Just as infidelity is no longer a criminal offence and rarely a civil misdemeanour, so it is that the sort of exposure I did was not any sort of offence. Maybe if I'd hacked a computer, but I didn't as the computer was mine anyway, or maybe if the photos were "banned" pornography, but they weren't. Fortunately I'm a lawyer and was able to stay on the "legal" side of things.

 

 

I am comfortable with what I did both legally and morally. My (and my children's) world was blown up by my WH's affair and she had significant responsibility for that and made no effort to make amends. She was doing it to another family as well at the same time. I still believe that she played a part in her own H's death. Sometimes I toy with the idea of providing copies of her emails (sent to my H) to the coroner who investigated his death, but as it was a few years ago now, I doubt I will.

 

I don't mean to be rude, but wondering, did you also expose any pictures or emails that your husband sent of himself ? How is it fair, he chose to involve himself in the affair, but yet, you make it seem like sees the evil person?

 

I know this is straight from the mouth (or fingertips) of a OW, I guess I'll never get that whole exposure thing.

[Susmay]

I'm sorry but as a BW myself, I think you not only embarrassed your husbands OW but also yourself, your husband and your marriage. ...

 

 

It's good you did what you think was right, and took what you believe is the high ground.

 

 

I also did what I think was right too. Believe me I was totally crushed and humiliated by my H's actions. Embarrassing myself further (if that's what I did, which I don't actually believe anyway) in front of complete strangers was such a small thing in the light of what happened. My marriage was severely compromised anyhow, and I'm not sure anyway how I was embarrassing my marriage. As for my husband, he had behaved despicably and was a participant in "wanting the world to know" so theoretically he wouldn't be embarrassed. However I do now know that he didn't want the world to know after all, so perhaps he shouldn't have been participating in that particular fantasy.

 

 

This was many years ago now and was the right thing for us.

[Susmay]

I don't mean to be rude, but wondering, did you also expose any pictures or emails that your husband sent of himself ? How is it fair, he chose to involve himself in the affair, but yet, you make it seem like sees the evil person?

 

I know this is straight from the mouth (or fingertips) of a OW, I guess I'll never get that whole exposure thing.

 

As it happens there were no even vaguely raunchy photos of my husband. It was before cell phones had inbuilt cameras and as it happened I had the only functioning camera in our family at the time, so all photos of him were family friendly. Why would you suggest I need to expose these and to whom?

 

 

"Our" OW was having an affair with at least 2 MM at the same time. She'd had a baby that she passed off as her BH's. Her BH then died in suspicious circumstances and she then tried to get both MM to leave their families.

 

 

This is getting quite close to evil in my view (and evil was the word you used not me).

 

 

This thread is about the BW getting revenge on the OW and that is what I addressed.

 

 

My H as I already said is of course responsible for what he did and has been very apologetic and we are recovered. It's been many years. He did not escape scot free and he was of course exposed to our side of the family, but this thread was not asking about that.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Susmay

[NewLeaf512]

Thank you for all your responses. I'm not here to judge being a cheating OW so I appreciate all your sharing.

 

One thing I have been noticing is that the OW seems to be the object of most of the vitriol with MM not suffering public humiliation or loss (as it appears that most of the MM stay with BW). Why do you think that is?

[elaine567]

The OW is the interloper, the stranger, the scarlet women, the sexy siren/whore/slut that changed the WH from a loving father and devoted husband into a cheater and lured him away.

 

He is lovely, the man of dreams, so kind and wonderful - he would have never done anything to hurt his wife and family - SHE interfered in the marriage, SHE got her claws into him and ruined everything.

 

[NewLeaf512]

The OW is the interloper, the stranger, the scarlet women, the sexy siren/whore/slut that changed the WH from a loving father and devoted husband into a cheater and lured him away.

 

He is lovely, the man of dreams, so kind and wonderful - he would have never done anything to hurt his wife and family - SHE interfered in the marriage, SHE got her claws into him and ruined everything.

 

 

 

Oh for goodness sake. Mine lied and said he was separated and chased me like a man possessed. I am the dumb butt who not only fell for it (not a man I usually would have chosen to be fair but after being in a long marriage which ended with my husband killing himself and me finding him) and years after this was the first person I was dumb enough to date because I thought he made me feel safe (ha) then I find out he's married, never physically see him again but still keep in daily (mostly) contact with him because I have no self respect or respect for his family I somehow managed to pull my head out of my butt to understand I was doing something horrible and stop it and figure out why the heck I'd do something like that. (Even quitting my job with a salary just shy of seven figures) Meanwhile he's swanning about and is seduced husband. Dear Lord life is crazy.

[AnotherSadSong]

I did try some revenge on the OW, who had an A with my WH. Most of my "revenge" was in the form of "exposure". I figured she was keen enough on my H to visit my home for sex (in my bed no less ), and to send him emails (with photos) wanting "the world to know how they felt about each other", so I helped her along a bit...

 

 

I visited her at her work which obviously caused her to squirm, because the time I went, the other MM with whom she was also having an A was there, and she obviously didn't want him to know. So of course I told him...

 

 

The other BW and I became friendly and were able to publicly expose the OW for whom she was. The OW then lost her job, but not the other MM.

 

 

I sent some of her photos on to her employer and family. They were not pornographic or obscene in the sense of being illegal, but no doubt very embarrassing to her. I never did understand why she sent them to my H, knowing that at the time he and I shared a computer and email address! This was many years ago now when there was no such thing as a smartphone and families just had the one computer, and I was not all that computer savvy.

 

 

I told her adult son, her parents in-law and brother-in-law. They were furious with her, especially as her own BH (who was their father, son and brother respectively) had recently died and she'd been playing the part of "grieving widow" at the same time as she was trying to get both my H and the other MM to leave their families.

 

 

It was amazing to me that the grand love which she'd wanted the world to know about, suddenly was a source of shame and that I was somehow at fault for telling people. She had little sense of responsibility about what she'd done to 3 families. At least my WH accepted responsibility and we are now good.

 

 

Just as infidelity is no longer a criminal offence and rarely a civil misdemeanour, so it is that the sort of exposure I did was not any sort of offence. Maybe if I'd hacked a computer, but I didn't as the computer was mine anyway, or maybe if the photos were "banned" pornography, but they weren't. Fortunately I'm a lawyer and was able to stay on the "legal" side of things.

 

 

I am comfortable with what I did both legally and morally. My (and my children's) world was blown up by my WH's affair and she had significant responsibility for that and made no effort to make amends. She was doing it to another family as well at the same time. I still believe that she played a part in her own H's death. Sometimes I toy with the idea of providing copies of her emails (sent to my H) to the coroner who investigated his death, but as it was a few years ago now, I doubt I will.

 

 

If that was your some revenge, I would hate to be the person who is the target of your full on revenge. Of course one could argue that maybe she could have used your revenge and the consequences and sought counseling. I think revenge has some fine lines because if it crosses lines into their families, public, and careers, they may be found hanging by a rope.

If you didn't divorce your husband, I hope you exacted the same revenge.

[Susmay]

The OW is the interloper, the stranger, the scarlet women, the sexy siren/whore/slut that changed the WH from a loving father and devoted husband into a cheater and lured him away.

 

He is lovely, the man of dreams, so kind and wonderful - he would have never done anything to hurt his wife and family - SHE interfered in the marriage, SHE got her claws into him and ruined everything.

 

 

Oh for goodness sake. Mine lied and said he was separated and chased me like a man possessed. I am the dumb butt who not only fell for it (not a man I usually would have chosen to be fair but after being in a long marriage which ended with my husband killing himself and me finding him) and years after this was the first person I was dumb enough to date because I thought he made me feel safe (ha) then I find out he's married, never physically see him again but still keep in daily (mostly) contact with him because I have no self respect or respect for his family I somehow managed to pull my head out of my butt to understand I was doing something horrible and stop it and figure out why the heck I'd do something like that. (Even quitting my job with a salary just shy of seven figures) Meanwhile he's swanning about and is seduced husband. Dear Lord life is crazy.

 

 

I tried to address the issue asked about, which was the BW taking revenge on the OW.

 

 

This doesn't mean that my WH got a free pass to sail off into the sunset with me (the BW) or that he swans about as the poor husband seduced by the wicked OW.

 

 

However the fact is that the OW was the interloper in our marriage, and was only invited into our life and home by one of us - not me. My H was lucky enough (aren't so many of these MM?) to be given a choice about whether to stay with me or go to her. I didn't see why I should throw him out just because she may have expected me to. It was in fact our marriage and while it was my choice about whether I was willing to stay with him and try reconciliation it was him who had the luxury of actually having a choice in the matter, and an apparent choice between 2 women.

 

 

As part of our agreement I expected him to be grateful for this second chance, and it was on the understanding there would be no 3rd chance, and even though it's many years later now, there will still be no 3rd chance for him. Before the A I had blind trust in him, now not so much, but we do have boundaries that we are both aware of and stick to.

 

 

We are now reconciled and have a great life together. We are both retired and get to travel together and do as we please as we are fairly well off. As it happens we would still both be well off even were we to part now, so it's not finances keeping us together. I truly believe my H has changed but if I'm proved wrong the next OW will be welcome to him.

[AnotherSadSong]

Susmay, how would you feel if the OW found redemption in the aftermath and became vigilant about cheaters and exacted revenge against your husband for a long time period. Showing up at his workplaces handing out cheater flyers with his face on them. Putting up a cheater billboard with his face. I have seem this one done. Handed out flyers, contacted his family members and exposed him, his words and actions relentlessly. Oh, in the news I have read the new one is having a plane fly overhead with cheater. She could do this at any event he attended.

 

 

I would like to think none of this would occur, but sometime revenge is a nasty little bug which keeps on giving.

[NewLeaf512]

I tried to address the issue asked about, which was the BW taking revenge on the OW.

 

 

This doesn't mean that my WH got a free pass to sail off into the sunset with me (the BW) or that he swans about as the poor husband seduced by the wicked OW.

 

 

However the fact is that the OW was the interloper in our marriage, and was only invited into our life and home by one of us - not me. My H was lucky enough (aren't so many of these MM?) to be given a choice about whether to stay with me or go to her. I didn't see why I should throw him out just because she may have expected me to. It was in fact our marriage and while it was my choice about whether I was willing to stay with him and try reconciliation it was him who had the luxury of actually having a choice in the matter, and an apparent choice between 2 women.

 

 

As part of our agreement I expected him to be grateful for this second chance, and it was on the understanding there would be no 3rd chance, and even though it's many years later now, there will still be no 3rd chance for him. Before the A I had blind trust in him, now not so much, but we do have boundaries that we are both aware of and stick to.

 

 

We are now reconciled and have a great life together. We are both retired and get to travel together and do as we please as we are fairly well off. As it happens we would still both be well off even were we to part now, so it's not finances keeping us together. I truly believe my H has changed but if I'm proved wrong the next OW will be welcome to him.

 

 

 

Thank you for your response. I think that is a very wise and pragmatic view. Initially I didn't know I was an interloper, but the minute I did, I should have cut off all contact.

 

 

In my particular case I do happen to know he is swanning about (although you might not know my story) exMM and I worked for the same enormous global company in different countries. Although I have resigned I am on Gardening Leave waiting out my notice period. At exMM location there was a summer event and photos of the event are posted all over the companies website which I must use to write my transition plan. 9 days ago he wrote me a letter saying he was leaving, attached a photo of the receipt for the lawyer's retainer, his signed letter of engagement, and his signed papers for service, and yesterday he was photographed not once but 2x with BW holding hands in one, and kissing in another wearing company branded shirts. It made me feel sad for all involved.

[NewLeaf512]

Susmay, how would you feel if the OW found redemption in the aftermath and became vigilant about cheaters and exacted revenge against your husband for a long time period. Showing up at his workplaces handing out cheater flyers with his face on them. Putting up a cheater billboard with his face. I have seem this one done. Handed out flyers, contacted his family members and exposed him, his words and actions relentlessly. Oh, in the news I have read the new one is having a plane fly overhead with cheater. She could do this at any event he attended.

 

 

I would like to think none of this would occur, but sometime revenge is a nasty little bug which keeps on giving.

 

 

 

I agree that culpability is on both sides, revenge in a fantasy might serve some purpose but it seems like throwing more pain onto an already horrific situation for all concerned.

[Susmay]

If that was your some revenge, I would hate to be the person who is the target of your full on revenge. Of course one could argue that maybe she could have used your revenge and the consequences and sought counseling. I think revenge has some fine lines because if it crosses lines into their families, public, and careers, they may be found hanging by a rope.

If you didn't divorce your husband, I hope you exacted the same revenge.

 

 

No I didn't take the same sort of revenge on my H. Why should I? I had made promises to him that I intended to keep.

 

 

It always amazes me when people (often OW) say things like "well I never made any promises to the BW, it was her husband who made and broke the promises". But these same OW expect the BW to just break their promises to their WH.

 

 

As far as I'm concerned I made no promises to the OW to be nice to her, so I'm free to take any revenge I like as long as it's not illegal. It is usually the MM who has made and broken promises, not the BW. Some MM such as my own WH made no promises whatsoever.

 

 

If the OW hangs herself, which seems to be what you're suggesting then that's on her and the MM who's stuffed her about. My only aim was to rid her from the life of myself and my family.

 

 

I wanted to be dead for a long time after D-day, and if I had taken my own life then I would have been the one held responsible not the OW or my H who treated everyone else so cruelly and callously. The OW's husband died just before our d-day, and neither I nor my H know if he ever knew. But the OW was involved in his death and it's unclear what exactly happened...

[Susmay]

Susmay, how would you feel if the OW found redemption in the aftermath and became vigilant about cheaters and exacted revenge against your husband for a long time period. Showing up at his workplaces handing out cheater flyers with his face on them. Putting up a cheater billboard with his face. I have seem this one done. Handed out flyers, contacted his family members and exposed him, his words and actions relentlessly. Oh, in the news I have read the new one is having a plane fly overhead with cheater. She could do this at any event he attended.

 

 

I would like to think none of this would occur, but sometime revenge is a nasty little bug which keeps on giving.

 

 

I wouldn't like it of course, but it isn't going to happen. His family already know, and he has no workplace. We are old and retired now, and it was years ago.

[AnotherSadSong]

I agree that culpability is on both sides, revenge in a fantasy might serve some purpose but it seems like throwing more pain onto an already horrific situation for all concerned.

 

It can cause pain, in my own life witnessing with a young family member. The late teens, girlfriends being stolen, affair type situations, the girlfriends and boyfriends changing. Revenge was laid onto him for stealing a girlfriend, friendships were changed. And the revenge became too much because of course the punisher, did not know of other things going on in his life.

 

 

Well, he laid down and placed a gun in his mouth, and blew his life away.

 

 

He was popular, athletic, model looks, and had many friends. He was 18. The whys were enormous and the burden placed on the family had tragic consequences and led to broken marriages and huge family rifts.

[NewLeaf512]

No I didn't take the same sort of revenge on my H. Why should I? I had made promises to him that I intended to keep.

 

 

It always amazes me when people (often OW) say things like "well I never made any promises to the BW, it was her husband who made and broke the promises". But these same OW expect the BW to just break their promises to their WH.

 

 

As far as I'm concerned I made no promises to the OW to be nice to her, so I'm free to take any revenge I like as long as it's not illegal. It is usually the MM who has made and broken promises, not the BW. Some MM such as my own WH made no promises whatsoever.

 

 

If the OW hangs herself, which seems to be what you're suggesting then that's on her and the MM who's stuffed her about. My only aim was to rid her from the life of myself and my family.

 

 

I wanted to be dead for a long time after D-day, and if I had taken my own life then I would have been the one held responsible not the OW or my H who treated everyone else so cruelly and callously. The OW's husband died just before our d-day, and neither I nor my H know if he ever knew. But the OW was involved in his death and it's unclear what exactly happened...

 

 

 

Perhaps this is just my perception, but your revenge seems as though there was a lot of anger behind it. (understandable) what is less understandable is why you didn't find it in equal measure.

 

 

What if OW started telling everyone about he relationship with your husband, and splashing the news far and wide that he was a cheater and letting our intimate details of their illicit affair to all and sundry, or turned up at your place of work and let it be known she'd made it with your husband?

 

 

I certainly don't advocate for either of those but the blame game / humiliation heaping cold potentially go both ways. I would not like to open that Pandora's box. Thank you for your response.

[Susmay]

It can cause pain, in my own life witnessing with a young family member. The late teens, girlfriends being stolen, affair type situations, the girlfriends and boyfriends changing. Revenge was laid onto him for stealing a girlfriend, friendships were changed. And the revenge became too much because of course the punisher, did not know of other things going on in his life.

 

 

Well, he laid down and placed a gun in his mouth, and blew his life away.

 

 

He was popular, athletic, model looks, and had many friends. He was 18. The whys were enormous and the burden placed on the family had tragic consequences and led to broken marriages and huge family rifts.

 

 

This is horrific, and an example to people who might be doing or considering infidelity. It can be life changing and death causing. Once you set the train in motion though, you cannot control others' behaviour.