Jonp219 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I was downtown with a friend and I just went for it lol. First one had a boyfriend, I believed her she seemed very genuine. The second one, I think she gave me a chance, but since I didn't open her up enough and I was fumbling my words a little bit she gave me the ole "I live with my boyfriend excuse too" lol. It's the first time I ever did that and I didn't die lol. 11
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Good for you. It is a law of large numbers proposition. The more comfortable you become talking to people, the more success you will ultimately achieve. Meanwhile have fun! 5
jen1447 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Good job Jon. Takes some courage to put yourself back out there, let alone go at it 'cold.' You're improving. 6
mario_C Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Well done. You did better than I have! Who saw that coming?! Downtown is pretty much the worst place to do that as well, so if you're able to do that, then that's a plus. 1
Gary S Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Good job! A hundred more of those and you'll have it down pat (if you don't have a girlfriend before that)! Time to go to work! 3
Author Jonp219 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) Thanks guys! It wasn't easy, but the trick is to not think before doing it lol There was this one girl that I didn't attempt to pick up (But I should of). It was in the middle of rush hour and everything was moving at 100 mph. I felt like I would of just been an annoyance if I tried to approach someone when all they want to do is go home and get away from the crowd. Anyway, I asked her for the time and she actually stopped, took off her sunglasses, reached for her phone, and gave me the time. But the way she looked at me was mesmerizing. She had these big beautiful green eyes with a gentle smile on her face, kind of like she was glad to see me. All I said was, "Thank You, have a wonderful day" and kept it moving. I definitely felt something but I thought it was all in my head. Then I turned back around to my friend and he was like, "Whoa, what was that about?" And I'm like, "You felt it too?" He said, "Yeah dummy you should ask her for her number there was definitely a spark there". Now i'm like, "Grrrr I should of lol :(". Eh maybe next time lol Never felt something like that though, it was strange indeed lol Edited July 11, 2015 by Jonp219 2
joseb Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Hats of mate, cold approaches are hard! Keep us updated of your progress. Green eyes sounded intriguing! 1
loveweary11 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Wow...awesome! Summer is in the air and everyone is kicking butt on the cold approaches. Great stuff, Jon. Leaving in a week or so to come back. Can't wait to see downtown again. LES, East Village... miss 'em greatly! 1
yxalitis Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Good stuff, and remember, the goal ins't to end up with your lifetime partner/hot hookup for the weekend...the goal is to improve self confidence. If you approach with that first in your mind, you'll be less inclined to say the wrong thing. And whatever you do, do NOT read any "how to pick up woman" books or Internet articles... You want to be yourself...a confident you, but still you, not whatever person those guides suggest you "become" 1
Author Jonp219 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 Hats of mate, cold approaches are hard! Keep us updated of your progress. Green eyes sounded intriguing! You should of seen her! She was a doll. I'm still kicking myself in the head for not going for it grrrrr!!!!
Author Jonp219 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 Wow...awesome! Summer is in the air and everyone is kicking butt on the cold approaches. Great stuff, Jon. Leaving in a week or so to come back. Can't wait to see downtown again. LES, East Village... miss 'em greatly! Thanks Loveweary! I haven't done it since last Tuesday though. I need to stop being a pussy and start making this a habit of mine. I need to alleviate my fear of beautiful drop dead gorgeous women! lol
organizedchaos Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 You should of seen her! She was a doll. I'm still kicking myself in the head for not going for it grrrrr!!!! Remember that regret next time you hesitate to ask a girl for her number. And you don't have to use every approach as a means to get a number. Just strike up a conversation with any stranger, even someone you're not attracted to, with the sole purpose of practicing having a conversation with a total stranger. Will help prepare you and make you more confident when you really DO want to cold approach. It'll be no big deal because you'll have practiced how to keep a conversation going with someone you just met. 2
loveweary11 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Thanks Loveweary! I haven't done it since last Tuesday though. I need to stop being a pussy and start making this a habit of mine. I need to alleviate my fear of beautiful drop dead gorgeous women! lol That's recent enough! I mean we do have lives outside of chasing chicks around, don't we? I have always been less nervous of and more like... addicted to beauty. I only really go for the 10's and it has worked for me. I'm not even athat great looking of a guy. Average, but doing the best with what I have. Really, really hot chicks are just people too.
Author Jonp219 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Posted July 12, 2015 That's recent enough! I mean we do have lives outside of chasing chicks around, don't we? I have always been less nervous of and more like... addicted to beauty. I only really go for the 10's and it has worked for me. I'm not even athat great looking of a guy. Average, but doing the best with what I have. Really, really hot chicks are just people too. Yes that is true! We have other obligations that we must attend to outside of tour social lives. Only down side with girls between the 9-10 range is that you'll rarely find one with a personality of gold. Alot of them are very shallow and spoiled. Not ALL, but most. I heard hot chicks poop and fart just like we do. Maybe they are just like us hmm lol
Easyguy14 Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 Thanks guys! It wasn't easy, but the trick is to not think before doing it lol There was this one girl that I didn't attempt to pick up (But I should of). It was in the middle of rush hour and everything was moving at 100 mph. I felt like I would of just been an annoyance if I tried to approach someone when all they want to do is go home and get away from the crowd. Anyway, I asked her for the time and she actually stopped, took off her sunglasses, reached for her phone, and gave me the time. But the way she looked at me was mesmerizing. She had these big beautiful green eyes with a gentle smile on her face, kind of like she was glad to see me. All I said was, "Thank You, have a wonderful day" and kept it moving. I definitely felt something but I thought it was all in my head. Then I turned back around to my friend and he was like, "Whoa, what was that about?" And I'm like, "You felt it too?" He said, "Yeah dummy you should ask her for her number there was definitely a spark there". Now i'm like, "Grrrr I should of lol :(". Eh maybe next time lol Never felt something like that though, it was strange indeed lol The woman I started dating was sort of through a cold approach since we met at a grocery store. I approached her first because she wouldn't get out of my line of vision so I took that as a sign even though she averted her eyes before I made my move so I think social settings are best to go for it when it comes to women even it doesn't work out afterwards such as with my issue right now.
neowulf Posted July 12, 2015 Posted July 12, 2015 I was downtown with a friend and I just went for it lol. First one had a boyfriend, I believed her she seemed very genuine. The second one, I think she gave me a chance, but since I didn't open her up enough and I was fumbling my words a little bit she gave me the ole "I live with my boyfriend excuse too" lol. It's the first time I ever did that and I didn't die lol. Way to step up to the plate man! Putting yourself out there can be scary, but you've taken the first step. Good hunting!
S_A Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Maybe this isn't a thing, but you know what almost always worked for me? Rather than putting her in a position to reject or accept your advance on the spot, leave it open. Tell her "I'm going to be at 'such and such' this Friday at around <insert time>. If you're not able to show, that's cool, but It'd be great to see you there!" She'll think "no" in her mind in the beginning. But as the day of the event approaches she will be leaning more and more towards "yes". Plus, she does not reject you to your face (so you don't look bad)! Good chance she'll show up to the bar/club/party/whatever that day. She'll likely bring a friend(s), too! Lastly, a lot of women will say "no". even if they want to say yes. Like Phoe mentioned in another topic, she felt like a deer caught in headlights when she was cold approached. This can happen often. If it does, she'll want to say "no". even if she wanted to say "yes" more than she wanted to say "no". A lot of women, however, will say "yes" because they are thinking "why not" (assuming you don't come off as a desperate creeper). They like taking chances and don't like to say "no" to opportunities that could lead to something good. Plus, they already finished season 3 of Orange is the New Black and have nothing else to do on the weekend. These are generally the types of women you're hoping to get when you cold approach IMO; women who think "why not" and who have finished Orange is the New Black. 1
Author Jonp219 Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Maybe this isn't a thing, but you know what almost always worked for me? Rather than putting her in a position to reject or accept your advance on the spot, leave it open. Tell her "I'm going to be at 'such and such' this Friday at around <insert time>. If you're not able to show, that's cool, but It'd be great to see you there!" She'll think "no" in her mind in the beginning. But as the day of the event approaches she will be leaning more and more towards "yes". Plus, she does not reject you to your face (so you don't look bad)! Good chance she'll show up to the bar/club/party/whatever that day. She'll likely bring a friend(s), too! Lastly, a lot of women will say "no". even if they want to say yes. Like Phoe mentioned in another topic, she felt like a deer caught in headlights when she was cold approached. This can happen often. If it does, she'll want to say "no". even if she wanted to say "yes" more than she wanted to say "no". A lot of women, however, will say "yes" because they are thinking "why not" (assuming you don't come off as a desperate creeper). They like taking chances and don't like to say "no" to opportunities that could lead to something good. Plus, they already finished season 3 of Orange is the New Black and have nothing else to do on the weekend. These are generally the types of women you're hoping to get when you cold approach IMO; women who think "why not" and who have finished Orange is the New Black. It's a numbers game. I know i'm going to get rejected many times before I land 1 number lol. I did another one today, but she was on her way to work. We had a little chat, found out a few things about her, and ended it there. I didn't feel nothing from the interaction so I skipped on the number part. This is completely new for me so I don't expect results right away.
oldshirt Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 If you have approach anxiety one of the best things you can do is simply start making eye contact and talking to everyone you encounter. That includes men, old ladies and unattractive women and not just women you are interested in getting with. If you can look people in the eye and say "hi" enough, eventually that anxiety and those horror scenarios in your head will dissipate. You're not training yourself to be smooth with women as much as you are training yourself interact with people more comfortably. The ability to approach and interact smoothly with women you are interested will come out of that. 2
kismetkismet Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 there's something kind of creepy about this thread... Not so much from the OP but the talks of "9s and 10s" and that "women will say no when they want to say yes" We are people, not shiny objects for your collection, and we have a will of our own and know it. One of the reasons I say no to guys that approach me this way is because I know that this is probably his mindset on dating... I understand that you often have to date a lot of people to meet someone that's right for you, but we can often tell when you're playing a numbers game and that it's just something you do. The reason you have a better chance of getting a girl's number after a bit of conversation is because she thinks that you're thinking of her as a person and looking for a connection and felt one, not just adding to a collection of phone numbers.
wb1988 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 she actually stopped, took off her sunglasses, reached for her phone, and gave me the time. But the way she looked at me was mesmerizing. She had these big beautiful green eyes with a gentle smile on her face, kind of like she was glad to see me. All I said was, "Thank You, have a wonderful day" and kept it moving. I definitely felt something but I thought it was all in my head. Then I turned back around to my friend and he was like, "Whoa, what was that about?" And I'm like, "You felt it too?" He said, "Yeah dummy you should ask her for her number there was definitely a spark there". Now i'm like, "Grrrr I should of lol :(". Aww man that sucks, but at least you already got a taste of what it's like to be a go getter . Personally I find that if you do it with a smile and positively it's almost impossible for a girl to be rude or mean back to you. I don't think we're scared of being rejected but rather scared of getting a negative response.
S_A Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 "women will say no when they want to say yes" We are people, not shiny objects for your collection, and we have a will of our own and know it. Women have turned down guys that they more likely than not would have said yes to. Not sure why that creeps you out. I'm just saying that the OP may get more yes's if he does not have the woman make a snap decision. This, in part, makes him look less desperate. Women get turned off when they get wind of desperation. I'm sure everyone has said no to something they've wanted to say yes to. Nobody is upset that a woman may turn down a guy even though she was leaning slightly more towards yes. I think the dear in headlights example is a perfect analogy. Also saying no keeps the status quo. I'm not saying that women say no when they are 100% in to a guy.
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