CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Our relationship moved too fast for both of us. She didn't want to break up and neither do I, but she needs her space and wants me to move out so that we can try to get things back on track. She was single for 5 months after a three year relationship. We moved in together after two and a half months of a really great relationship, but the honeymoon phase has disappeared. Sex was great, now it's all but non existent. Has anyone successfully gone from living together, to moving out and reconciling the relationship?
Author CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 She came home for lunch and I tried to talk to her, but it didn't seem to have much effect. Shortly after she left, she sent me this lovely message "F**k you for making me mad on my little time off work you don't get it at all. Yesterday I wanted to friking hugg you have contact with you but,NOOOOOO sir has to push to take a friking arm lenght!!! You really don't get it. This is over...theres no point trying to see eachother after you move." I've always felt like if someone is angry/showing emotion, feelings are involved. But I honestly think she just wants me out.
mightycpa Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Calvin, After reading the first one, I was about to write you that if she wants you to move out, it is NOT to work it out. Then I read the second one. She's right... you didn't get it, but that's because she didn't respect you enough to tell you the truth. She gave you a big-ass bouquet of false hope with your walking papers, and you ignored the pink slip and focused on the bait. After you took the bait, now she blames you and she got mean. She's a real piece of work, this girl of yours. None of that was necessary. She could have just told you how it is. I suspect if you think about it, there will be other parts of her personality that fit in with this latest act. So here's the deal - you're done. She wants you to move out, but not so that you can try to get things back on track. She wants you to get out of your seat, head towards the exit, and thank you for your patronage. Do both of you a favor. Do that exactly, and never look back. Let some other poor bastard live life with that person, and you count your lucky stars when you find yourself without her. I know it won't feel like that at first, but eventually, you'll see the wisdom in my words. Good luck!
Author CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I think at some point she did want to "work things out", but I have a habit of pushing for things (touching/intimacy), and that pushed her away. I don't blame her reaction. I haven't been the easiest to live with lately either.
mightycpa Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I think at some point she did want to "work things out", but I have a habit of pushing for things (touching/intimacy), and that pushed her away. I don't blame her reaction. I haven't been the easiest to live with lately either.No. If she wanted that, she'd tell you to back off gently, that she really does need that space. Something gentle, but not to berate you. She'd be more patient, because she'd understand, and she wouldn't want to burn the bridge. God forbid a boyfriend you lives with wants to touch you and be intimate a lot. Why else would you live together? Things that start and get too hot too quickly tend to burn out too quickly too. Well, denial is one of the first reactions. We'll see you on the boards as this progresses!
Author CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 She just sent me this "I am obviously not interested in working things out. I have checked out a while ago, I don't love you and will not. I have tried to make this as smooth and polite as I could. I hope for your own good you get it this time and won't try to change my mind again because it's not going to change."
mightycpa Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 She just sent me this "I am obviously not interested in working things out. I have checked out a while ago, I don't love you and will not. I have tried to make this as smooth and polite as I could. I hope for your own good you get it this time and won't try to change my mind again because it's not going to change." Send her this back: OK. Help me pack? I'll bring boxes. That's the power move! Alternatively, you should ask her to stay away for the weekend while you pack your stuff. I guess you need to find a place too. Don't forget to tell her to leave a check for your half of the security deposit.
Author CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I just moved in. Most of my stuff is still packed and in storage. This living together arrangement barely lasted two months. The rest of the story is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/535418-she-doesn-t-feel-love-me-after-four-months, if you're interested. I just don't understand it. Yesterday, and most of this week things were going really well and then she goes off like an H-bomb.
mightycpa Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 WHY!?!?!?!? Yes, that's the next thing you want to know after you've accepted it.
Author CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I just came home and she was here. I bought a bottle of wine (before she sent those text messages) to try to smooth things over, because the wine she has is disgusting. It's red, she told me to "just drink it". She took her dog and slammed the door without saying word. It might be hard to do, given that we live together, but I'm going to do NC. If she texts, I'm going to ignore her, but not sure what to do if she talks to me while I'm home.
Author CalvinM Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) WHY!?!?!?!? Yes, that's the next thing you want to know after you've accepted it. She said it was because the spark for me is gone. That a few red flags (like how I organized the move and that I was miserable to be around when I was sick) reminded her of her ex, and that she didn't want a partner like that. Edited July 9, 2015 by CalvinM
Bito Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Yea do yourself a favor and get out. Stop trying to rationalize why it fell apart. It fell apart because she wanted it to because she's not into you anymore. She is sub layer communicar, aka crazy bitch. I know moveing sucks but but you got to get out.
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