Popsicle Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 You can initiate contact whenever you feel comfortable but you also need to understand that after 5 dates the the girl probably wanted to see some kind of affection from you otherwise what's the point of dating you? Not saying to have sex with her but you gotta at least kiss the girl after the 2-3rd date otherwise exactly what happened to you will happen. At least for now you missed your opportunity with this girl. Re visit in 6mos perhaps but in the meantime givr her space Yes this and whatever you do, do NOT continue to be her friend and talk and hang out with her. Go NC.
Gary S Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Right...and maybe a woman is just chicken shyt too...and THAT is why she doesn't want to kiss a guy on the first date. Has nothing to do with how into him she is...or not. - Katie, usually(not always) the man is the pursuer - which means he is the one who goes in for the big kiss and risks rejection. So yes - it is a little bit different, men and women have different roles here. It's not a double standard, it's an issue of roles. And yes, I think two people should like one another on a first date, to an extent that they would like to kiss - if it comes to that, and one initiates it. Why go to the track and bet on a slow horse? Wouldn't it be smarter to bet on the fastest horse? Do ya smell what I'm cookin' sista?! I don't say that they need to kiss on date one - but the relationship needs to progress to have a good chance of getting serious, and if they don't kiss within the first few dates, interest often wanes and they are likely to end up in the freindszone.
katiegrl Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 (edited) - Katie, usually(not always) the man is the pursuer - which means he is the one who goes in for the big kiss and risks rejection. So yes - it is a little bit different, men and women have different roles here. It's not a double standard, it's an issue of roles. And yes, I think two people should like one another on a first date, to an extent that they would like to kiss - if it comes to that, and one initiates it. Why go to the track and bet on a slow horse? Wouldn't it be smarter to bet on the fastest horse? Do ya smell what I'm cookin' sista?! I don't say that they need to kiss on date one - but the relationship needs to progress to have a good chance of getting serious, and if they don't kiss within the first few dates, interest often wanes and they are likely to end up in the freindszone. Sorry, you have not convinced me this is not hypocrisy and a double standard, but you get an "A" for effort! No need to keep this debate going though, I am over it Gary..... movin on.... :bunny: Edited July 10, 2015 by katiegrl
Jame22 Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) Sorry, you have not convinced me this is not hypocrisy and a double standard, but you get an "A" for effort! Men and woman are equal, but they are very different. On a biological level, it's the man's responsibility to escalate things physically. No amount of political correctness will ever change that. To the OP, why did you go on 5 dates with this girl? If there's a connection you should feel it by the 2nd or 3rd date. Come on man, you're BSing yourself. If you like her your best option is to send her a message along the lines of "You're really awesome and I liked hanging out with you but I'm not looking for anything platonic right now. Let me know when you change your mind." and then walk away. If she comes back take her on a date and KISS HER and if she doesn't come back just move on with your life and see other girls. Edited July 11, 2015 by Jame22
ScotchBeef Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Never has the song "Kiss the Girl" from the Little Mermaid been more appropriate.
feelingtorn Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 I had to reply. I met my current guy on tinder. From the beginning, I was very attracted to him but he made no physical contact for five dates. We also saw each other once a week. We even went to see a movie and he never even touched my hands. It was confusing and disappointing but he told me he was pretty shy. And I am pretty shy and was able to relate to him. At the end of our fifth date, it was getting late. I was at his house. We sat apart from each other and again, no physical contact. I told him I was leaving. He looked very disappointed when he heard me. As I was leaving - literally out the door- he stuttered and got blushed but managed to say, "I was going to ask you if I could give you a good night kiss." We kissed and it was amazing. I left but I would have totally stayed if he asked me. Ha, well....it def. made it more exciting for me. All that waiting and anticipation. But I was very attracted to him mentally and physically. So, you could tell her you were a bit disappointed at her reaction and explain you move slow in that regard? See how she responds?
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