mystikmind2005 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Well has anyone had this happen, there you are happily browsing profiles on the dating site, then whammo, there it is ex's profile!! Well, she moved out this January after 6 year marriage and we have a 3 year old daughter. It was not a happy marriage, we did not fight etc but she made me feel resentment and depressed with years of rejection in the bedroom. Too be honest, i have been afraid of getting back together, if ever she came and asked me, and wondering how the hell i would deal with that situation because i don't want to go back to that relationship. However, seeing her profile shocked me deeply... but i don't know why? I mean, gee, i'm on the dating site myself, i have been on dates already. So why is it so deeply shocking too me? I should be happy for her moving on rite??
Popsicle Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I think it's hard the first time you see them with someone else, or even trying to be with someone else. That's when it really hits you that it's over for good. Eventually you do get over the shock though.
Author mystikmind2005 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I saw my ex wife on a dating site after our separation too. Of course, she ended up messaging me and we became FWB for a while until the inevitable divorce. Even though you are no longer married, that type of connection does not always sever so easily. If I were you, I would block her on the site. You don't need to see her face when you're out there looking to move on. Thanks for that, i did not actually open her profile, it is on POF, i was doing a search, i saw just the picture and the intro. I was tempted, but no, i am smart enough to know not to open her profile!! lol Right now i don't quite know what to make of my feelings? I don't know, i seem to feel embarrassed and ashamed more than anything else, because i failed to make her happy, and seeing her profile is like the big advertisement to the world of my failure. These are selfish feelings i think?
Author mystikmind2005 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I think it's hard the first time you see them with someone else, or even trying to be with someone else. That's when it really hits you that it's over for good. Eventually you do get over the shock though. Yea, even though i am scared of the idea to go back to her,,, feelings are not logical, i have to accept that.
Author mystikmind2005 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 It is not your responsibility to make her happy. Her life is her own, and it is up to her that she enjoy it. A relationship goes both ways. It isn't about a man making a woman happy. The women who are looking for a man to make them happy will generally be disappointed. Oh well, i have worked very hard to learn all i can from my mistakes, i can only hope she has done the same, because i do wish her all the best to find happiness - and also it will affect my Daughter too, so important
DivorcedDad123 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I found my ex on a dating site. Funny how she listed all of these things she "loves to do for her man",that were the exact things I had complained about her NOT doing. LOL! It was comical all of the the things she likes to do that I KNOW she hates to do. It made me feel sorry for the poor guy she finally suckers in.
regine_phalange Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I think it's natural. She's your ex wife after all!
Redhead14 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Well has anyone had this happen, there you are happily browsing profiles on the dating site, then whammo, there it is ex's profile!! Well, she moved out this January after 6 year marriage and we have a 3 year old daughter. It was not a happy marriage, we did not fight etc but she made me feel resentment and depressed with years of rejection in the bedroom. Too be honest, i have been afraid of getting back together, if ever she came and asked me, and wondering how the hell i would deal with that situation because i don't want to go back to that relationship. However, seeing her profile shocked me deeply... but i don't know why? I mean, gee, i'm on the dating site myself, i have been on dates already. So why is it so deeply shocking too me? I should be happy for her moving on rite?? Because you have not fully processed, grieved and accepted the end of the relationship, whether it was good or bad. That "bond" is still real to you on some level. This is the reason for not trying to date for a relationship too soon after a divorce or death of a spouse for that matter. Way down deep, she is still your wife and it is difficult to think of her being with someone else.
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