Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 After 3 months break up and 3 months nc I saw my ex on a dating site .. Heart broken.. Just made the whole thing real
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I was doing so well with no contact and I didn't wanna see it ugh
BriNyc82 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I know just how you feel. My ex ended things bc he wasn't ready for a relationship I thought we just needed time apart so he could fix himself and go to therapy for his issues. Turns out 6 weeks later he's back on a dating site and now I feel completely lied to. He's either rebounding or he just wasn't that into me and used a lame excuse. I confronted him about being on the site and he got all defensive. I should have continued with NC. Be strong!!! Just bc someone is back on a site doesn't mean anything. I went back on a dating site and I'm not completely over my ex.
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 It just took me by surprise never thought she would be on a site .. I admit I was looking for a guess self asteam boost . But no way was ready for a relationship . But it's over and I can't control what she does or who she dates . Just was a kick in the balls
BriNyc82 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Yep same here. I was shaking when I saw his pic come up. Sucker punch to the gut. Made me feel like everything he had told me about why this ended was just an excuse. Let them get their ego boost from somewhere else!
loveiswar101 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 It's a kick in the n$ts my friend but bright side you know where you stand with her now. If you were good to her I'll tell you what will happen, she will go on some dates and realize that whats out there is no way a good as what she had. Grass is very rarely greener my friend and by the time she realizes that too you have moved on got stronger and am with someone who loves you for you. I say this as my ex and me separated for 3 months or so last year, I also noticed her on a dating site. (i was just looking for fun). When we caught up I quizzed her, told me she went on 4 dates and none were as nice and thoughtful, good looking as me. Guess she doesn't think that now..lol. Anyhow, you can't control her, can't make her love you, can't control who she dates, but neither can she with you. Past is the past. Just a hiccup my friend, stay NC, time will heal, i promise.
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 It's a kick in the n$ts my friend but bright side you know where you stand with her now. If you were good to her I'll tell you what will happen, she will go on some dates and realize that whats out there is no way a good as what she had. Grass is very rarely greener my friend and by the time she realizes that too you have moved on got stronger and am with someone who loves you for you. I say this as my ex and me separated for 3 months or so last year, I also noticed her on a dating site. (i was just looking for fun). When we caught up I quizzed her, told me she went on 4 dates and none were as nice and thoughtful, good looking as me. Guess she doesn't think that now..lol. Anyhow, you can't control her, can't make her love you, can't control who she dates, but neither can she with you. Past is the past. Just a hiccup my friend, stay NC, time will heal, i promise. thank you my friend , that means a lot in this dark time
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I hope this feeling doesn't last forever.. I mean it's only coming up on 4 months but seeing that (I didn't look for it just showed up) really set me back .. But your right at lease now I know where I stand .. No way we were gonna get back together anyways .. Just I'm a huge fan of out of sight out of mind and then boom there she is on a dating site .. I'm just blown away
15Love Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I'm really sorry you had to see that. If I found out he was dating again...uuugh. Horrible. Hang in there.
BriNyc82 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Aries I feel for you. I was doing a lot better too with my Nc and seeing it completely set me back and question even why it ended it in the first place. My emotions got the best of me and I confronted him about being on a dating site and he completely flipped out and got so angry with me. I don't know why he's the angry one when he ended it. He's the one who led me on and ended it out of nowhere and he's mad that I can't move on. His response was "you want me to live under a rock"? It has only been 6 weeks. I had no idea he was ready to date considering he admitted that he needed to go to therapy for being emotionally unavailable and commitment phobe. He just looks pathetic for trying to fill his void through meaningless online date hookups. Taking no responsibility for his role in what happened. If I could give any advice definitely keep the Nc going. It's not worth dredging up the past. She may just be on there bc she's hurting.....
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 Aries I feel for you. I was doing a lot better too with my Nc and seeing it completely set me back and question even why it ended it in the first place. My emotions got the best of me and I confronted him about being on a dating site and he completely flipped out and got so angry with me. I don't know why he's the angry one when he ended it. He's the one who led me on and ended it out of nowhere and he's mad that I can't move on. His response was "you want me to live under a rock"? It has only been 6 weeks. I had no idea he was ready to date considering he admitted that he needed to go to therapy for being emotionally unavailable and commitment phobe. He just looks pathetic for trying to fill his void through meaningless online date hookups. Taking no responsibility for his role in what happened. If I could give any advice definitely keep the Nc going. It's not worth dredging up the past. She may just be on there bc she's hurting..... thank you , I will not contact her as it will do no good , we ended for a reason .. that's the thing, I look back and it's like now after 3 years of dating and almost proposing to her in June (that was before we broke up in March) but June was the month I was planning on doing it .. I feel like I don't even know her sad really sad
BriNyc82 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I'm not sure what your reason behind breaking up was and if it's something that can be fixed but keep reminding yourself that you are broken up for a reason. I know it doesn't take the pain away though. It's always sad when two people who seem to care about each other aren't together but with every end is a new beginning. 1
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Long story short , she is 33 and they lost her dad a few years back and her mom lost it , became very very controlling .. her mom never liked me for God only knows why , so I wasn't allowed over ever .. Then she she went and bought a trailer across the street and when I mean across the street from her mom I mean two lane highway .. That was it for me I wasn't gonna live near a woman that was bitter at life and took it out on everyone else .. She thought I was playing when I said I wasn't moving in there .. This girl would cry to me every night about how her mom ruins her life , but in the end she choose .. At 32 years old I never thought I would have to put up with a mom, so I thought I could separate it nope not even a little .. It was a fight evrytime we wanted to go somewhere because God forbid her daughter is away from her .. It just got to much sad really if you think about it .. She's just a mean mean bitter woman .. Feel more sad for my ex Edited July 9, 2015 by Ariess10
BriNyc82 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 That does sound really sad. I never lost a parent so I can't imagine the pressure she feels to be there for her mom. In a way it's respectable but she also has to live her life and not enable her mom to hold her back. I would think as a mom I would want my kids to be happy but not everyone is like that. I'm sorry this sounds like a tough situation bc it wasn't really about you and your ex. Maybe in time she will come around and realize that she can't life through her mom but it seems like you have a clear outlook on this. Hang in there only time will tell 1
Author Ariess10 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 You hit it right on the head , she does feel like she needs to be at her moms call 24/7 in her words "she doesn't want any regrets when she passes" .. I just couldn't do it anymore no matter how much I love her I had to think of myself for once , even tho I knew this was gonna be very hard I had to leave .. I hope she finds peace some day .
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